Page 96

The nightthat I found out Rachel betrayed me, I went to the medicine cabinet above my sink, and I contemplated taking every pill in there. I’ve got plenty, thanks to the array of doctors I’ve maintained for the medical issues that have haunted me since I got shot in the head. Hell, it wouldn’t even have to be all of the pills—just one bottle of painkillers would be sufficient to end it all. If I did it, nobody would have found me until the morning, and by then, it would be too late. After all, people overdose every year at Dead Med—I figured it may as well be me this year.

In the end, I couldn’t make myself do it. I was too chicken. Also, I was raised Catholic, and we’re not supposed to do things like that.

But as I sat in my office the night before the final exam, rewriting the questions so that the woman I had loved wouldn’t be able to cheat, I got to thinking about Rachel. About how I had been so worried about her career, I had gone against my moral code and agreed not to turn in Patrice for what she had done. But I no longer had that concern.

That was when I picked up my phone and called Patrice.

“Matt?” She sounded surprised to hear from me so late. “What’s going on?”

“I just want to give you a heads-up.” I gripped the phone tighter with my left hand—the only hand capable of grasping anything tightly anymore. “Tomorrow, after the exam, I’m going to the dean about you. I’m telling him that you’ve been distributing drugs to the students.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “If you do that, I’ll tell him about you and Rachel.”

“So be it.”

“You’re fine with imploding your entire career and hers?”

“Yes.”

I meant it.

“Matt.” Her voice had a bit of a hysterical edge to it. “Please think about what you’re doing. Can’t we talk about this? Please?”

“No, Patrice. My mind is made up.”

And then I hung up. I fully expected her to confront me about this in person, but then, the knock at my door turned out to be Rachel. And the things she told me changed everything.

Do I believe Rachel when she says she was blackmailed and that’s the only reason she took the exam? Maybe. I suppose I do. Nobody’s that great an actress. It’s easier to believe Rachel because I love her. Even when I hated her, I still loved her.

And because I love her so much, I refuse to let her die today.