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63

Raven

T he first half of the drive back to Phoenix passes in a blur as Nix and I talk quietly in the back of one of the vans. She’s curious about what happened to me, and as much as I don't want to scar her, I know I can't lie.

I keep some of my descriptions vague, hoping she won't be traumatized by what I went through, but I answer every question she has. My sister has proven she’s tougher than I gave her credit for. Who am I to say she can't handle the truth anymore?

I won't keep it from her ever again. We've all seen how detrimental that can be. Keeping her in the dark will only put her at risk, and I’m not willing to do that again, not if we’re making Arizona our permanent home.

I look over at Reaper on the other side of the van. His eyes are glued to me, watching me with an intensity that I feel deep in my bones. That look used to irritate me and drive me to pick a fight with the intimidating enforcer. Now? Now that look bothers me in an entirely different way.

Yeah, Arizona is definitely permanent now.

Even if Nix hadn't started planting roots, I doubt I'd be able to leave now. I've started to grow fond of this place and the people here. I have a life and friends and family here—a family that would burn the world down to make sure I lived to see another day.

It’s a strange realization. Only months ago, I couldn't wait to leave. I hated this place so much that I would have hopped in my car and never looked back, but now? Now, this place and these people are as much a part of me as anything has ever been.

My eyes focus on Reaper and my stomach does a strange flip. That's something else I can't run from—these new feelings I've developed for him. He went into a den of wolves and took on a pack of crazed psychopaths for me. If that doesn't scream, "Touch her and die. " I don't know what does.

The thought sends chills down my spine. His claim on me, and mine on him—that's not something I'll easily be able to walk away from. That should scare me, but it doesn't. Instead, the thought of him getting all growly and possessive over me makes my skin tingle and my pussy throb.

It does funny things to my heart too, but that's something I'll have to wait to unpack. Love is a strange concept to me, and admitting I have those feelings for anyone other than Nix is confusing.

Love. Wow, who knew I was even capable of such a thing?

The van pulls to a stop in front of the shattered clubhouse, reminding me how much work we have ahead of us. We could have gone straight to our rental, but part of me needed to come back here to finally close the book on what happened with the Bastards.

There's still police tape around the house and boards over the doors and windows. In the quiet, I can still hear the whir of gunshots and the sound of breaking glass. I wait for the panic to set in, the trauma response from surviving such a horrible night, but nothing happens.

Staring at the clubhouse, all I feel is numb. There's no fear, no sadness, no anger. Nothing. I don't know how to take that, but I'd rather feel nothing than panic.

Nix slides her hand into mine, squeezing gently. I look at her, asking silently if she's okay. Her sad smile answers for her—she's taking this as well as I am. I'm not sure that's a good thing. My sweet sister seems to have hardened since we first arrived.

She's a tougher version of herself, which makes me a little sad. I never wanted her to be like me—hard, pessimistic, cold. She deserves to be happy and optimistic all the time, but I suppose that's the nature of this life—sometimes you have to change to survive it. I don't think Nix will ever be as detached and cold-hearted as me, but the innocence she's lost because of the Bastards will always weigh on me.

Maybe she has more of Dad in her than we thought.

My brows furrow. That's new too— Dad. I never thought I'd call him that, but things are changing more than I ever imagined. He came for me. He took on his oldest (former) friend and risked death at his hands to save me. I guess he's earned the title.

Right on cue, the rumble of his bike grows louder as he and the others pull up behind us. He swings his legs over his seat and strides over to Nix and me. His eyes narrow on Reaper standing close by. Guess Daddy Dearest still doesn't approve of his men getting attached to his girls.

The thought makes me chuckle, drawing Nix's eyes to me. She shoots me a questioning glance, then looks between Dad and Reaper. A knowing smile curls over her lips as she grips my hand tighter. She hasn't asked about him yet, but I know she will when we have some privacy. It's no longer a secret, and I'm actually excited to tell her about it. Maybe she'll be able to give me some advice on navigating these newfound feelings.

Reaper doesn't move as Dad comes closer. He stands his ground, refusing to put more space between us even as his Prez surveys him with barely concealed ire. The men's silent stand-off is almost comical, but the sound of a door slamming nearby brings it to an abrupt halt.

Everyone turns when Dad's friends from the police station approach. They nod their greeting as they sketch their watchful eyes over our group. "You got a minute, Elias?" one of them asks.

With a nod, he moves with them closer to the house. They're too far away to hear, and Dad's poker face gives nothing away. After a few minutes, the men leave and my father rejoins our group.

"What'd they say?" Raptor asks.

Dad shakes his head. "Just said the investigation on Scar's men was ongoing. The department doesn't have anything solid linking us to Manzanita. Our boys on the inside will help keep it that way."

His eyes warily flit to Nix and me as he continues. "The Sheriff is suspicious, though. Has it in his head we had something to do with their extermination."

Miguel curses somewhere to my right as Hammer lets out a growl. "How do we play this?" the club's sergeant at arms grunts.

Dad's jaw is tight as he replies, "We keep our heads down and clean up the mess the Bastards left us. While we're busy with that, our boys will keep tabs on the evidence that comes in. Anything linking us to what happened will disappear before the Sheriff is any the wiser."

Miguel's jaw ticks as he asks, "You sure we can trust them?"

His Prez gives him a hard look. "Guess we'll find out."