Page 73

ATLAS

I found Nyx sitting near the edge of the bluff. He was leaning over his knees with a frown on his face as he looked out over the valley. I sat down next to him, my shoulder brushing his lightly as I leaned back against the rocks. I saw him stiffen at the contact and could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him.

“I never told you what Vetticus took from me,” I said.

Nyx looked over his shoulder at me.

“It wasn’t really the place to talk about things like that,”

he said dryly before looking back out at the view.

“Yeah, but I want to tell you now,”

I said. “I think it’s important.”

He didn’t say anything and I collected my thoughts, preparing myself to talk about something I’d avoided even thinking about because of how much it hurt.

“I was married,”

I started. “I had a beautiful wife, Nova. She was my soulmate in every way.”

Her face flashed in my mind. The killer smile that pulled her dimples out and lit up her eyes. Those same eyes that teased me with the way she always looked at me so suggestively, like she didn’t want to go one more second without being in my space. I swallowed past the lump in my throat as the thought of never being able to touch her again assaulted me.

“She was bi,”

I continued. “And we’d always discussed opening up our relationship at some point. A polyamorous lifestyle appealed to us so one day we just went for it. We had a lot of fun both together and separately and then she met another man and fell in love. His name was James.”

James. An artist with the body of a god. Where I was rough edges with the ruthlessness of a viking, he was all masculine grace covered in the dark paint palettes he used to create. He always reminded me of a rogue pirate with his black hair he wore pulled back in a low ponytail and the gold rings all over his fingers. Just the thought of how those hands had once felt on me was enough to make my words stall.

I cleared my throat and went on. “I was okay with her feelings because our relationship only got stronger and there was plenty of love to go around. I never felt neglected or like she was pushing me aside. In fact, it was the opposite. We started having threesomes together—of course that was really hot—having my wife in between us while we made her fall apart. Well, I guess you know—”

I chuckled, but it came out gruff and suggestive. I couldn’t help but feel turned on as I remembered Nyx on his knees behind Red, making her moan around my cock. I saw the tips of his ears heat and smirked, knowing a similar thought was in his mind.

“Anyway, the more we hung out, the more I started having feelings for James. He wasn’t bi, neither was I—I didn’t think. At least I’d never had feelings for a man before, and still didn’t during all of this. It was only him because I’d fallen in love with the person he was. Turns out, he’d started developing feelings for me too in the same way. It started with just exploring more with him during threesomes but then we all started hanging out together outside of the bedroom and when James eventually told me he loved me, I returned the sentiment.”

One evening, Nova and I showed up at James’ studio where things quickly escalated. Before we knew it, we were all naked with paint flying everywhere. Later, Nova was in the bathroom and James and I were laying together on a giant canvas drop cloth, the paint drying and flaking off our bodies. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me. I remember grinning at how haphazard he looked with dark greens and blues all over his face and his hair sticking up as the paint dried it in crazy places on his head.

I reached out and smeared a streak of green across his jaw, thinking it was the same color as his eyes. He caught my hand and entwined our fingers then his gaze swept across my face and dipped to my lips before he met my eyes.

“You speak to a part of me I didn’t know existed,”

he said quietly. Happiness flooded through me and his eyes caught on the smile tugging at my lips. He returned it. “There are no other men who catch my eye or make me feel the way you do when you look at me. There wasn’t before you and there won’t be anyone after you.”

He brought my fingers to his lips, not even caring about the paint that covered them.

“I don’t know what you’d call that and I don’t care. All I know is that I love you—deeply, completely and with everything I am.”

His voice had grown gruff with emotion and his eyes searched mine. “Tell me you feel the same,”

he whispered.

Intensity rushed through me leaving me aching with a love I couldn’t even begin to express. Even if I had a way with words the way he did, it wouldn’t come close.

I sank my fingers into his hair. “You’re mine—that’s what I know. It scares me sometimes, how deeply I feel for you—like because I’m a man I’m not allowed to love another man. But I do love you, my pirate,”

I huffed a laugh. “Completely and without restraint. My heart is yours.”

“And Nova’s,”

James grinned.

I returned the grin and nodded. “You both hold my heart,”

I whispered, and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

I came back from the memory, tears stinging my eyes. Nyx seemed to know I’d gotten lost for a moment because he didn’t look back at me or speak but his hand dropped to my thigh in a move that felt right to us both because he kept it there.

I took a deep breath and quickly ended the story. “Long story short—we all moved in together and eventually we unofficially all got married. He married her, I married him and we were one big happy throple.”

Nyx seemed to process it all for a moment. “And Vetticus took them both away from you?”

“Yeah, similar to T’s story,”

I said quietly.

“I’m sorry,”

Nyx whispered.

“Me too,”

I said sadly. “He’s taken so much from all of us. I want this as much as North does and I don’t think I can move on until Vetticus gets what he deserves.”

“I understand,”

Nyx said, sounding almost disappointed. Heat rushed through me at the thought of how he might have taken that the wrong way.

“I mean, I can’t live a normal life—or even try to be content—until he’s gone,”

I tried to explain. “But, I-I feel something here that has started to feel like more than just a friendship,”

I ventured, nervously. “I don’t know if you feel the same and I don’t want to make things weird—”

Nyx turned to me and grinned. “So you’re saying you want to live a discontented life with me?”

“Fucker,”

I said easily, hiding a grin and shaking off his hand on my leg as I drew my knees up so I could sit even with him. He chuckled and looked away as though he couldn’t hold my gaze for very long.

“I don’t know how to do any of this,” he said.

“And you think I do? What with all of my vast experience with men?”

I scoffed.

The sarcasm dripping off my words pulled another laugh from him.

“Look at me,” I said.

He slowly turned those dark eyes on me, and I saw a vulnerability he rarely showed.

“I’m not making it up, am I?” I asked.

He hesitated the barest second, and I watched the emotions rage across his face before he slowly shook his head. Relief washed over me and a half smile pulled at my lips.

“Good, so I wasn’t imagining you staring at my dick when we were fucking Red.”

That earned me a genuine laugh from him and he ran a hand through his hair, the tension gone.

“I couldn’t help it and I don’t know what that means,”

he said without any trace of embarrassment. “I understand perfectly when you said you and James weren’t bisexual—you just loved each other—it should be allowed to be that simple.”

He looked at me again and cocked his head as though he was allowing himself to really study me for the first time. “I feel a similar way for you, I think.”

His face fell, and he looked away. “But I’m afraid that what Vetticus did has tarnished that.”

“What do you mean?”

Nyx dug into the ground between his feet with a stick. “I don’t know, what if it’s all just trauma?”

I nodded. “I guess you won’t know unless you decide to explore it more.”

“I don’t want to use you as an experiment,”

he scoffed.

“I don’t know, I might enjoy that,”

I said darkly, my voice dropping low.

His back stiffened, and I watched him try to repress a shiver. His eyes flicked to me briefly, and he bit his lip to hide a smile. My eyes dropped to his mouth, thinking how much I wanted his lips on mine so I could tug his lip between my own teeth.

I looked away before more dirty thoughts could invade. We had nothing but time now and if that’s what he needed, it would be hard—no pun intended—but I’d give it to him.