Page 46
THERON
The next morning, Nyx didn’t get out of bed. Breakfast came and Atlas tried to get him to eat something but he shook his head and turned his back on him. When it was time to go out to the yard, he refused again and simply lay there staring at nothing. The three of us went without him, trying to get through a workout without taking our anger out on each other.
“We need to find out what they did to him,”
Atlas growled as we walked around the track. It was almost time to go back in and we’d all nearly killed ourselves trying to expel all the excess frustration and energy. Atlas had busted his stitches and Preacher looked pale again but anytime one of them tried to sit still, they only jumped back up a moment later. I knew the feeling—idleness made for busy thoughts and no one wanted to be in their heads right now.
“Yeah—whatever it was, it was bad,”
Preacher said. “Do you think it really has to do with losing?”
I shrugged. “It must because this is the first game we’ve lost.”
We walked in silence for a full lap. We’d made a lot of mistakes this last game. None of us liked to lose and now we’d just been shown how high the stakes really were.
“He was covered in bruises,”
Atlas growled.
His jaw was clenched so hard I could hear his teeth grinding together. The look on his face was murderous.
“He was tortured then,”
Preacher said with disgust. “Every man has a breaking point. Vetticus finally found his.”
When we got back, Nyx was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. He looked up when we entered and his eyes were sunken and bruised. Atlas handed him a water bottle and Nyx’s hands had a tremor to them as he took it. He nodded his thanks but refused to look him in the eye. In fact, he avoided direct eye contact with all of us, something he’d never done before.
I stood near the glass doors and debated how to handle him. Something terrible had obviously happened and now he’d retreated into himself. I couldn’t afford to have someone like that out in the field. If we were deployed, he would have been pulled from duty immediately. I needed sharp and focused minds. The other part of me was foaming at the mouth to tear Vetticus apart for reducing Nyx to this.
He was mine to protect, and I’d failed.
The atmosphere of the room was awkward and tense. I could tell Atlas and Preacher didn’t know what to do either. I watched them try to go about their normal routines, but so much of our day involved Nyx’s banter and sick sense of humor that it all felt wrong.
Dinner was delivered, and we all sat down in the sitting area to eat together like we did every day. Nyx hadn’t moved from his position on his bed and was now staring at a point on the ground.
“Fuck this,”
I muttered.
Atlas straightened at my tone and Preacher paused with a piece of broccoli halfway to his mouth. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked over and stood in front of Nyx. I waited until he looked up at me. He didn’t meet my eyes but focused on a point over my shoulder.
“Look at me,”
I commanded.
Nyx sat up straighter and while his mouth thinned, his eyes slowly slid to mine. They were haunted—the darkness in them muted, like he’d lost a part of himself and didn’t know what to do without it. His hands were balled into fists so tight his knuckles were white and I could practically hear his heartbeat pick up as the anxiety of meeting my gaze took over.
“You don’t have to talk about what happened—”
Nyx tried to look away.
“No—look at me, dammit,”
I demanded harshly.
His gaze snapped to mine, but I saw the anger there and I nodded once.
“Yes, get angry,”
I said fiercely. “Whatever he did to you—”
I spoke deliberately and made sure he was holding my gaze “Don’t let him win.”
I said each word hard and slow. “He wants to break you. He can and he will. But just know, whatever happened, I don’t think any less of you for what you had to endure to survive. None of us do.”
I put my hand on Nyx’s shoulder and watched him visibly flinch. He felt like a tight wire about to break.
“Fuck. Him,”
I said as I leaned closer. “That goes for all of you,”
I pitched my voice so the others could hear while still looking at Nyx. “Whatever happens in this place, we endure it, we survive it. We don’t hide—got it?”
The others murmured their replies but Nyx still hadn’t spoken. I saw the anger in his eyes. It was better than nothing. I’d rather he be angry with me than withdrawn and numb.
“That’s an order, soldier,”
I said dangerously.
“Yes, sir,”
Nyx answered.
I walked away then, letting him compose himself. It was his choice now. He would either come out of this with anger as fuel, or he would collapse in on himself and we’d lose him.
I really hoped that wasn’t the case.
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