Page 35

“Of course, no pressure. I just want to help. First, we should see your house when you’re ready.”

“When I’m ready.” Nix nods.

The timer buzzes, and Gideon pulls his rolls from the oven, letting them cool while he dishes up the stew. “Let’s eat. Can someone set the table?”

Jay grabs the bowls and sets them out. There are only six chairs at the table, but Luca pulls the piano bench over and Nix sits on Jay’s lap anyway, so it’s perfect.

They shuffle in, and it’s then that Gideon notices Rowan is still naked. “Ya! Rowan, I asked you to cover your dick!”

Rowan stands up with both hands pointing to the member in question. And there, on The Cock? is a white sports sock.

“That’ll teach you to be more specific, my love,” Jay whispers.

And what can Gideon do but pick up his spoon and be thankful there’s no damn cilantro in his food tonight, and that his family is eating something he’s made with his own two hands and his very full heart.

***

It’s 3:00 a.m. when Gideon creeps into the kitchen. His thoughts are filled with memories of the mountains and his mother’s cottage. Ever since Nix returned from the house, he’s been thinking about his mother, unable to find rest despite his exhaustion.

Earlier in the evening, Gideon had been grateful that their omega had easily fallen asleep with his head resting on Leo’s thigh, arms wrapped protectively around their babies.

Grayson had sprawled on the floor beneath Leo’s legs, which were propped on the coffee table, his hand clasped in Nix’s.

Meanwhile, Rowan—finally somewhat clothed—had attempted to stay still on the back of the couch like a giant cat, one eye on Nix and the other on the television.

After the movie about a small, hairy omega and his pack delivering jewelry to a giant eye, only to throw it into a volcano at the end, Jay had carried Nix to bed in yet another temporary nest constructed by their brilliant Luca.

But that had been four hours ago, and Gideon still hadn’t been able to close his eyes without thinking of his mother.

Her smile. Her gentle eyes. How she’d made him laugh. How her buttery scent had calmed him, made him feel loved.

The older man in the park, who’d sent them on this journey, had seemed to know her, too.

Enough to think she was funny. Enough to know she would want Gideon to be true to his heart…

and his pack. Finn had asked Nix if he wanted help in locating his grandmother, and maybe Gideon needed to ask for help in figuring out who the older man was.

Why he was concerned that Gideon fed the birds and took care of his heart?

Thinking he’ll grab a bottle of water and sit outside on the lanai, he’s surprised when Nix pads silently in after him. “Gideon?”

“Kitten. Can’t sleep?” Gideon opens his arms for a warm hug. Omegas were naturally warmer than others, according to Finn, and it was always a pleasure to hold Nix and the babies against his chest in the dark.

“Already slept too long. Hey, would you…go with me?”

“Where? It’s not even morning yet.”

“Home,” he says, holding up the keys. A tiny handwritten tag is attached, marked with a single numeric code.

“Now? We should wake up the others. Jay, at least.”

“No. I was going to go by myself, but now it feels right that you go with me. Like it’s supposed to be you and me. Will you?”

Gideon ignores the fact that Nix would have left the house by himself, focusing instead on the importance of the request. He’s never been one to dismiss significant “feelings,” and if Nix says they’re supposed to go together, then he’ll go. “It’s going to be—”

“Hard. I know, maybe that’s why it’s supposed to be you. Everyone else is too… ”

“I get it.” Too emotional. “Okay, let’s do this, but you better put pants on. I’m going to get enough shit from Rowan and Gray without your ass hanging out all over town and dealing with Jay, too. Shit, I should leave a note.”

“You, too?” Nix says as he points to Gideon’s very naked butt. He’d forgotten he’d stripped down when he’d ended up pressed against Grayson’s back, too hot to even consider leaving on the extra layers.

They choose something from the laundry cupboard where Jay and Finn had toiled during the movie last night (if making out against the washing machine could entirely be considered work) and creep out past the front door, with Nix in the lead.

Once they reach the end of the road leading from the cul-de-sac, Nix grabs his hand and asks him about Quest, and whether he thinks Maureen and Elias are doing well without him.

Whether Gideon misses the kitchen, he even asks for the story about the cilantro.

It passes the time in a flash, and they arrive in front of a two-story home with a giggle still falling from Nix’s lips.

He’s managed the walk by rote and seems surprised they’re there so soon.

They just stand there under a streetlight, while a million emotions pass over Nix’s pale features.

“We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to, Kitten. This is far enough if it’s too much.”

“No. I want to do this with you. But…if I change my mind, you won’t think I’m a coward?”

Gideon isn’t a hypocrite, especially given he’s the one who’s hidden from just such a place in his own past, for almost a decade. “No, Kitten. Never.”

“Okay, then. Let’s kick it in the ass,” he says, in an exact mimicry of Luca’s on-stage persona.

“Been watching too much YouTube?”

“He’s fucking hot on stage. Everywhere, really. Don’t tell me you don’t have a favorite video,” he says as they climb the steps up to the front porch. Even the dark can’t hide the small yellow-orange marigolds lining the walk. As if they were waiting for Nix to return, and wanted to be welcoming .

“I do. It’s their Chicago stage from last year,” he offers, and pulls open the screen door so Nix can get to the door locks.

Nix doesn’t even look at the white tag, just uses the largest of the four keys to open the door and enters the code into the security system from memory. Could it be unchanged since he’d left all those years ago?

They’re frozen in the small foyer at the end of a hallway. Gideon can’t see beyond that, but when he tries to turn the light on, Nix stays his hand. “No. Wait. Just…I need a minute.”

“Okay, Kitten. Wanna sit here?” Gideon asks, and Nix sinks to his butt right there, keys jangling. “You have four keys there. May I see them?”

Nix nods and passes them over and rests the side of his head on his knees. “Soon I won’t be able to sit like this. The babies are getting in the way of my moping.”

“You’re not moping. You’re processing. This isn’t something you barrel through unless you’re Rowan Foster.”

Nix gives a soft chuckle. “This is why I brought you. No barreling.”

“Well, I am honored. Hey, this looks like a key to an outbuilding. Shed, maybe?” Gideon asks, holding up the small gold key.

The second is a bank key for a safe deposit box.

No bank information on the key, but maybe the neighbor knows something.

If not, Lauren could find out, he’s sure.

The third has EZ-Storage embossed on it: Unit 1106.

“And the others?” Nix asks, but Gideon isn’t sure he’s really listening.

He answers anyway. “A safety deposit key and a storage unit key.”

“Oh.” He rubs his nose on his knee and then meets Gideon’s gaze. “You think my grandmother put stuff in there for me? Weirdly, she never told me about the house.”

“I’m sure she had her reasons.” Although Gideon can’t conceive of anything that doesn’t piss him off, now isn’t the time to plot against a little old woman more than a hundred miles away. Later, though? He’ll make some time.

“Yeah, well. I am sure she didn’t want Hayes to know about it. It’s a relief actually, because she was right, you know? He destroyed everything good in my life back then, and I wouldn’t have been able to stop him from destroying this, either.”

Gideon can’t help the scent of petrichor that fills the narrow space at his mate’s words.

“It’s okay, Gideon. Remember? It wasn’t my fault. None of it,” he states quietly, as if he’s said it a hundred times, and if maybe this is the time he’s going to believe it’s true.

“It wasn’t, Kitten. Truly.”

“Yeah, well. Let’s see if there’s anything in the house. It smells empty.”

“Are you sad about that?” Gideon asks. He can’t read Nix’s emotions at all now that Nix has said his mantra. Maybe he’s blocked it and his scent off again.

“No. Yes.” With a head shake, he offers Gideon a smile. “Both?”

“I understand that entirely.”

Nix offers him a small hand, and they walk back toward the heart of the house.

Nix still eschews lights, but it’s not hard to see the place has been emptied of its furniture and family belongings.

They’re just rooms now, without the family that lived here.

Gideon won’t have the same “luxury” of a clean slate if he ever gains enough courage to make his own pilgrimage.

“It feels weird that it’s empty. I think I remember my grandmother having a company clear everything out. Maybe that’s what’s in storage.” Nix opens a closet door in the hallway but doesn’t move toward the upstairs and the other bedrooms.

He must see Gideon look toward the stairs because he shakes his head. “I don’t think I’ll go up there today. This is enough so that I’m not afraid later, you know?”

“I do.”

Nix smiles and hugs him tightly. “I know you do, and if you want me to do the same for you, I will. We can. Anytime, once this mess is over.”

“I know you will, Kitten. Thank you.”

They spend another two hours sitting in the center of the empty living room, while Nix tells Gideon about his father and sister.

He skirts the topic of his mom, but they still laugh at the stories.

And when Nix lies down so he can rest his head on Gideon’s thigh, Gideon’s heart picks up double time.

He loves this man so much.

It’s not because he looks like an angel in the sliver of golden sunrise creeping across the floor, even though he does. It’s his strength. It’s how beautiful he is on the inside. How even after so much darkness, Nix can still find the light, and shine it on everyone he meets. He’s a gift.

Nix yawns then and closes his eyes, reaching for Gideon’s hand. “I can feel you loving me so hard right now, you know.”

“Through the bond?”

“No. Just because you’re you and you just…you show me. I feel it. Now and always, I guess.” There’s a gentle squeeze to his hand and around his heart.

Gideon’s voice cracks with a surplus of emotion, but he perseveres anyway. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. I hope you’ll let me show you how much I love you, too.”

“Now and always?” Gideon whispers as he watches a small smile flit across Nix’s mouth.

“Now and always.”