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How I’d managed to find myself in this situation was beyond me at this point. My attention had been split these past few days, and that had landed me in this vinyl booth seat.

”So, was your Valentine”s Day as crappy as mine?” the guy across from me asked. His name was Luke, and he had brown hair that managed to seem scruffy despite how short it was. Behind my companion, a neon sign blared “open.” The restaurant was a chain location. After all, what was every woman”s dream if not to be taken out for five-dollar mozzarella sticks and refillable sodas?

”It was interesting,” I replied vaguely, because I could tell Luke wanted to launch into his own monologue first. People in my workplace assumed I was brash all the time, but here, in this restaurant that smelled like fried food, I was just a young woman trying to blend into the crowd in plain clothes. The lack of a uniform practically made me itch. I could be myself at work, but I was in civilian territory here. I never knew how they would react to stories from my job, and to be honest, I didn’t really have many other kinds of stories.

I had a zero-dating policy within the Bureau, but I met Luke because he worked for the delivery service that served the Bureau office in Chicago exclusively. I’d been surprised when he asked me out, and my mother had lobbied for me to accept. Funny how she used to berate me for choosing to be a soldier, yet happily took a job with the Bureau after losing her job as a secretary at the bank. The meld had caused a small economic depression all over the country, but I’d gotten her an office position easily enough.

Begrudgingly, I’d caved to save myself a lecture. It was always easier to pick and choose battles with mother dearest. I can”t say no to family, even when it comes to my own dating life.

It was always easier not to date as a soldier. Supernatural work didn”t mix with stable schedules, and the few guys I had gone out with before were never able to understand my dedication to an organization over them.As if date night should be prioritized over hunting redbills to keep our homes and families safe. Whatever.

”Well, my Valentine”s Day was terrible,” Luke said, dragging out the last word for dramatic effect. He played with the straw in his soda as he launched into his tale. ”I went on an awful blind date with this chick named Melissa. She brought along a friend for part of it, then talked about how she wanted to be engaged by twenty-five.” Luke was twenty-seven, if I remembered correctly, but I couldn”t care enough to think very hard about that.

”Engaged, huh?” I asked, but my voice sounded flat even to me. Luke appeared not to notice. He was fully wrapped up in his sordid tale of woe.

”She asked me to pick her next nail color. Can you believe that?”

Putting on nail polish at any point in my life, besides my brief punk-rock stage, when I had taken a permanent marker to all my nails?

“No, I can”t,” I said honestly, hoping the mozzarella sticks were coming soon. If I had to leave this ”date” early, I at least wanted to get a snack out of it. Luke would probably be perfectly nice for somebody else, if a bit obnoxious, but he was clearly under the impression that I cared about this date. I had run a brush through my recently chopped, shoulder-length red waves, but that was more for the twins’ benefit as they tried to psych me up for this.I smiled to myself at the thought of them. Luke took that as a good sign and kept going.

”And then she asked if I would ever consider going vegan. Me, go vegan? I”d rather die.” He gestured wildly. I took stock of his physique. He worked out, at least. He was nothing compared to a certain vampire tank, but... Don”t think like that, you have to move on. I pushed thoughts of dark hair and a deep laugh to the corners of my mind. I was technically here to learn more about this guy, so I needed to be polite. But… my focus had slipped more than usual since the incident on the mission.

Luke wrapped up his tale and took a generous slurp of his soda. ”So, anything bad about your Valentine”s Day?” The question came out of his mouth like a robotic gesture of politeness.

My eyebrow quirked upward with amusement. ”Well, I spent it rescuing a Z-list vlogger and her boyfriend from monsters. All in all, an average day.”

”Monsters?”Luke let out a disbelieving scoff. ”I mean, I know you work at the Bureau and it”s all weird and stuff, but surely you don”t mean actual monsters.”

Irritation flared inside me. ”I would give you their video footage, but, whoops, I destroyed it. They”d been breaking into restricted areas around the Leftovers and releasing the footage. Arresting them was fun.” I watched Luke’s face pale a shade, but the disbelief in his stare made me want to push the envelope. ”First, I stabbed a giant turtle-alligator-thing in the neck. Then I had to wrestle this girl into handcuffs, and after that I got to throw them into a jail cell.”

A smile quirked onto his face. Give him a chance. Just, like... one more.

I suspected Luke had asked me out on the goading of my mother. Her mail room work ethic seemed to be ferocious with gossip, but not with boundaries. Then again, a few other people in the mail room had mentioned the nice delivery guy and said I would get along with him. Had they said that because they saw me as brash and tone deaf in conversation, just like this guy? God, I hoped not.

”Well, that sounds like a real story,” Luke said as his wry grin grew. I felt a pang of annoyance. So, he didn”t believe me. I exhaled evenly while trying to calculate the exact amount of time that had passed since we put that appetizer order in. The man continued, as if he might actually be curious about my life. ”They say you”re a real firecracker at the Bureau. Is all your family like you?”

I leaned back in the booth. A mention of family was enough to calm my irritation for the moment, since I could talk about my family all day. Even if I had a complicated relationship with my parents, I loved them and my siblings fiercely. Some of them were working with me now.

”Definitely,” I said. “I”m the oldest, but the second oldest are twins, and they recently joined the Bureau too. They”re fraternal, Jessie and Jordan, and between them they have way too much energy. I was excited for them to start at the Bureau—until I realized they were gonna be in my department. It makes sense, I guess—I just wasn”t ready to see them in action this soon, and I definitely wasn’t expecting them to become Hellraisers.” At Luke’s confused expression, I explained: ”At the Chicago Bureau, that’s what the monster-hunting department is called. We get all the hotshots and troublemakers. It”s a perfect nickname, and the twins fit right in. Honestly, it”s been a bit of a problem for me, watching them fight.”

The twins hadn’t been with us on the Valentine’s Day mission. Hindley had wanted to put them on my team, but I’d flatly refused. I was thankful for that… since otherwise they would’ve witnessed my weird moment in battle and never let me live it down. I’d screamed at Kane, but everyone thought I’d been yelling at them while freezing like an amateur on the back of the beast. I hadn’t taken my kill.

The waitress stopped by as I talked and dropped off our basket of mozzarella sticks. Before I could finish my sentence, Luke snagged four for himself and left me with two. I might as well have disappeared altogether.

”Gotta get my protein gains,” he bragged as I restrained myself from snatching my snacks out of his greasy hands, deciding not to mention the fact that the protein value of our appetizer left much to be desired. After all, Luke had no idea how important mozzarella sticks were to the continuation of this date. ”Oh, you were saying something? Go on.”

How kind he was, to invite me to finish my own story. I stole the last two sticks without apology and muttered something about it being hard to watch my siblings before lapsing into irritated silence. Between this and his vague complaints about the government while we waited to be seated, I was almost done.

”I completely understand. It”s like when I spot my younger brother at the gym,” Luke insisted. I stared at him, disappointed by the universe’s timely reminder that someone could be gruffly handsome and also an utter idiot. I let him gab despite the fact that being a gym rat with his younger brother was nothing like watching the twins grow into their own combat experience by joining the Bureau—which he might’ve figured out, if he’d bothered to listen. As Luke talked, he absently rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing off a tattoo of a glock. Okay, my mind was already starting to wander.

Unfortunately, it wandered back to something I’d hoped never to experience again.

”I wonder how long I”ve been here,” Kane muttered. It sounded like he was whispering in my ear. I stiffened, fried cheese dangling from my mouth. Why was I hearing his voice again? It had to be in my head, since Luke simply droned on.

My mind is trying to torture me. Kane didn”t sound panicked now; his low voice was thoughtful. ”These plants go on forever. I”ve never seen ones like these before.”

As Luke explained the difficulties of besting his personal deadlift, I reasoned with myself. Perhaps I was losing my sanity. Or perhaps this date was so bad, my brain had revolted and started hallucinating to escape from reality.

Was it really Kane? If so, he must have been contacting me through some kind of magic. I’d heard him during the battle, and now, I was hearing him as if he was calling on a phone to chat about the strange place he was in. Plants he’s never seen before, and they go on forever… Did that mean he was in the Leftovers, or the Immortal Plane? Should I try to talk back to him? No, that didn’t work last time.

I shivered involuntarily. If I let my brain carry me into these fantasies, I was going to get nowhere. I couldn”t let my mind trick me like this.

And yet, his voice was there. It was the Kane I”d grown to care about.As if he’d never left me during the meld, only to vanish forever.

”I”m worried about the kids,” Kane said softly. ”How long was I out?”

I couldn”t hold back the snort from the question. That was rich. I knew it had already been nine weeks, because it seemed like every day reminded me he wasn”t here. Walking into the mess hall or training rooms, I still expected to see him. A part of me knew that he probably would’ve stayed in the Immortal Plane rather than help the Bureau, but still… For some of the wildest months I’d ever experienced, he’d been there every day, one of the few constants in my life. I missed the sound of his real voice in my ears.

The voice faded, and suddenly, all I could hear was Luke”s endless story and the soft sound of pop music over the restaurant”s speaker system. Luke hadn”t noticed me spacing out at all. And at this point, even if he had, I was sure that I didn”t care anymore.

I didn”t know what had happened to Kane, but I remembered what had happened right before. I’d been with him on the invasion of the soul farms during the attack on Itzarriol; we’d been leading a group of rescued harvesters to the river when the meld hit. I could almost feel the ghostly touch of the harvester kids as they clung to me, lamenting about the meld while not fully understanding what was happening. I hadn”t known what was happening either, but that was the thing about being an adult—I’d pretended to be okay because the kids needed that.

Kane was the one who’d grabbed my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and confirmed that I wasn’t hallucinating as the Mortal and Immortal planes fused. I remembered the firm, bracing grip of his hands, and later, the sensation of his strong arm brushing against mine as we stood beside each other and debated our next step in the chaos of the meld.

And then, there had been another wave of instability—the beginning of the fix, I now knew. Kane had turned toward me, as if sensing what was going to happen to him. His hand brushed mine. I”d seen Lyra and Dorian hold hands plenty of times, during good times and bad, but it seemed too gentle a gesture for Kane, who was relentlessly sharp and prickly. I’d never been one for holding hands, either. I wasn’t even sure why I’d spent so much time thinking about it.

But at that moment, when the meld started to get even weirder, he’d pressed his hand against my palm. Soft, but sure. His lips had moved, but I hadn’t been able to catch it, as Mortal Plane buildings shifted into Immortal landscapes and back. A hot desert air surrounded us. The harvesters groaned in the distance, mourning in fear, grief and awe.

I didn”t usually need a hand to hold, but in that moment, Kane”s gentle touch was everything. The warmth of his palm grounded me in the otherworldly drift of the meld like an anchor, and instead of looking at the world as it got blurrier and dizzier around us, I’d stared into his eyes. I’d never noticed the gold flecks in his dark eyes before. They were like the souls that drifted through the Immortal Plane.

And then, just like that, he had been gone. His warmth had vanished. The harvester kids were also gone. The world snapped back into place, and I was left with most of the vampires and humans alongside me. They weren’t Kane, but they were alive and safe.

I’d found myself stumbling in the shallow part of a Mortal Plane pool, the hot air suddenly giving way to cold, icy water around me. The vampires were lucky enough to land on the lawn nearby. As I sloshed to the edge, trying not to startle the mortal family staring in horror from their kitchen window, I told myself not to worry. Kane could handle himself. The harvesters couldn’t survive in the Mortal Plane for long and had likely been transported back to their home plane. Surely, I told myself, Kane was with them, soothing myself with the idea that at least he was home, too.

Even if I would never get to see him again. The gates were closed and he had no reason to come back to this plane, which he’d always seemed to hate.I’d told myself that was fine.

After the Bureau picked us up from San Francisco, I’d eventually met up with Bryce and Lyra along with more vampires and human survivors. The vampire scouts managed to get in touch with our allies in the Immortal Plane. Nobody had seen Kane. He wasn”t among the survivors that had come back from the river, although many harvesters had merely left of their own accord since the battle was over. Nobody knew what had happened to him, or the few others who vanished.

I’d held back tears with the firm belief that if anyone could survive something like that, it was Kane. He was like me—too stubborn for his own good, and certainly too stubborn to die that way.

Even before then, my relationship with Kane had been complicated. I cared for him deeply. The moment Lyra had stumbled across us during the party at the Hive... She still didn”t know that had been our first and last kiss. The first and only time we’d given in to the attraction that sizzled between us every time our bodies pressed against each other in a sparring match.

And it wasn’t just the physical that drew me to him. I wouldn”t call what I’d felt for him love, but for a while there, the feelings had been intense. Kane was scrappy, opinionated, bossy—a hustler and a fighter. Looking at him was like looking at the other side of my own coin. I’d never expected to find that in anyone, let alone a vampire.

The funny thing about grappling with someone is that it takes out any of the extra variables. I knew as soon as I started sparring with Kane that he got me. He knew where I was going to place my feet and my fists. He was quick and crafty. I was hard to impress, but he’d done it.And he could take all the trash I liked to talk and return it without getting huffy.

My mind drifted back to the kiss: one searing-hot moment where our bodies had run away with us. The way he’d thrown me effortlessly up against the wall, his hard muscles pressed against mine like we were sparring, until his lips met mine hungrily.

At the time, I’d been pissed with Lyra for barging in and interrupting us. But Kane… it seemed like he regretted kissing me at all.

Now, with a clearer head, I was sure that things would never have worked out between us. We were too alike in certain ways, and neither of us had the kind of conflict resolution skills that Lyra and Dorian liked to prance around with.

And even if we could get around that, there were other obstacles. Halla, for one—one more overprotective mother I didn’t need in my life. Not to mention that my own beloved family would lose their marbles if I brought home a vampire. Kane was a vampire, and I was human, and while the interspecies romance didn’t bother me, Kane’s life was in the Immortal Plane, and I’d never been keen on long-distance relationships.

Plus, I had to be honest with myself: Kane was ridiculously gorgeous and could have any girl he wanted. Wouldn’t he want some amazing, superpowered, model-lookalike vampire woman to rebuild his life with in the Immortal Plane?

Whether or not it was romantic, I still thought what was between us had been special. It had certainly been something entirely new for me. There were few people in any plane that I trusted so deeply, and that was probably the reason his loss kept hitting me so hard.

Finding him is Lyra”s job, now, I reminded myself. Just like I trusted Kane to survive, Lyra and Dorian were the people I trusted most to find him. The somber resignation hit me just as Luke started waving his hand in front of my face, rolling his eyes. Oops. I”d been caught. And I didn’t even care.

Even if there had been no future for Kane and me, Luke was nowhere close to the vampire I’d lost.

”I didn”t mean to bore you,” the man across the table huffed. He crossed his arms and pouted.

”Well, you did,” I replied easily, and got up to throw a ten-dollar bill onto the table. ”That should cover my one-third of the appetizer.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly and curled his lip. ”Another great date for the books. A girl who needs to make up stories about killing monsters just to make herself sound interesting.”

I met his gaze. Yeah, I was done. ”I couldn’t care less if you think I’m interesting.”

I sauntered out of the restaurant, slightly annoyed about wasting my time, knowing the scent of fried food wouldn”t leave my clothes until I washed them. I barely thought about Luke once he was out of my sight, but the voice... the voice worried me. Was I going crazy? Maybe I should”ve taken Clemmins’ offer to see a Bureau counselor about my grief. The psych department had given us a small briefing when we came back about processing our trauma over the torments we’d experienced in Itzarriol.

I snorted, remembering the flowery tone the counselor had used as he talked to us. My life was rough-and tumble, and I liked it that way.

I just wished Kane hadn”t gone away. That was all.

Maybe my sanity was slipping. After so much time in the Immortal Plane and seeing the kinds of tortures and battles I had, it was reasonable to expect some side effects. Still, even when I’d encountered the rulers” sway, even when I’d been deep in the worst Immortal prison there was, even during the meld, I hadn”t heard voices in my head. It was so clear and familiar, it felt like I was hearing Kane’s very thoughts—but that was impossible, right? I chalked it up to a side effect of the meld, for now. I needed to put it aside and focus on my work. There was plenty for me to do.

I held out hope, though, to someday see Kane safe and sound again.