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Where am I?Four days later, the question slid into my brain, foreign but not unwelcome. My face froze, so I wouldn’t break into a huge smile and give myself away.

”Did you grab mayo?” Holt asked Jordan, and my sibling forked over a pile of mayonnaise packets with no questions asked. Why had he grabbed eight? We were gathered at a cafeteria table in the Chicago Bureau building.

You’re in my brain. I waited with bated breath, but Kane clearly hadn”t tuned in to my voice, because he didn”t reply.

I tried to play it cool and stabbed a fry into a pile of ketchup, promising myself to eventually get into salads. Kane was talking to someone now.

”I”m fine. I can get up by myself. It”s just my head,” Kane grumbled. ”You”re a medic?”

I strained to listen while Jessie launched into an impression of Hindley yelling at us. We had just finished another round of paperwork and testimonies about our mission. I was miraculously not fired, and had even received a rare compliment for being brave. Hindley was displeased about my temporary absence, but she was always stern.

Kane”s voice came back. He sounded completely clear now. ”I was… The Pocket Space? That”s what they”re calling it, fine. What happened?”

I would”ve killed to hear the full conversation. Where was he? I hadn”t heard him in my head since he’d kissed me and then passed out when Colin and I had rescued him. I half thought that our mental connection would disappear after I’d rescued him, but it seemed to still be present.

Holt sipped his water while the twins shot paper straw wrappers at one another.

”Lunch good today?” I asked Holt, trying for casual. He snorted and shook his head. The Bureau cafeteria was no culinary hotspot.

Kane had to be with a vampire healer. Chandry and Arlonne had taken over his care in the Mortal Plane, but they might”ve called for a more experienced medic when they took Kane back through a portal to the Immortal Plane. Luckily, there was a gate in the Sierras. They’d needed to get him fed and looked after. Judging from the strength in Kane”s voice, they’d succeeded.

When I had visited Kane, I’d fallen asleep in the chair by his bedside. I’d woken up there on the final day of the Hellraisers’ mission, and there was no excuse I could make to extend our mission to stay close to Kane, even if I was concerned about him. He looked like he was in better shape, but he needed to go back to the Immortal Plane to be healed completely. Lyra, Dorian, and Chandry had caught me waking up, but they’d said nothing. They’d just accepted that I had slept there to monitor him, thankfully.

But now, I was hearing his voice again. A mixture of annoyance and excitement ran through me as I mindlessly chewed my food. This voice in my head is going to be a thing forever now, I guess.

”I told you, I”m fine,” Kane insisted, a beat of frustration in his voice. That made two of us, because he still hadn”t heard me yet. That seemed pretty cruel, but that was the universe”s sense of humor for you.

I had wanted to be there when he woke up, since I was concerned about him and his health. It felt unfair that I was the one to find him and rescue him, thanks to our new mental link, only for me to have to leave before he regained consciousness. Was he really okay, or was he playing tough guy for the medic?

”The fries in this place taste rubbery,” Jessie complained with a sigh.

”Better than Taco Tuesday,” Holt said, and I shared a light laugh with them. My brain was split in half, partially with my team and partially with Kane. I stuffed down the feelings inside me. Not now, not here. Kane could take care of himself. I truly cared for him, but… it was clear that our lives had no more reason to intersect. We weren”t like Lyra and Dorian, skipping merrily along like two destined lovers with perfectionist tendencies and laser-sharp leadership skills. We were two misfits who’d happened to meet and get along, but he was a vampire. He likely wanted to stay in the Immortal Plane. It was his home.

Having apsychic version of a cell phone connection doesn”t mean anything.

His face flashed before me as I recalled the blur of movement as he went to kiss me. He had kissed me. What about that? I tried not to think about it. The warm sensation rushed through my traitorous body.

”You okay, Cap?” Jordan asked. ”You”re looking a bit red.”

”Feeling the burn from Hindley,” I said with a lopsided smile. They laughed, but Jessie began watching me more closely. The problem with working with soldiers was that they saw more than I wanted them to. It was a blessing that Colin wasn”t here at the moment.

The kiss didn”t matter. It doesn”t change anything. It doesn”t change us. There was no reason for me to get involved.

”What happened to the others?” Kane asked. ”I was with some humans when I came in.”

Butterflies erupted in my stomach. I pushed my tray toward Jordan. ”I think I”ve lost my appetite.” He descended upon my lunch with great happiness.

”Oh, thanks,” Kane muttered to his invisible healer.

I can”t believe this is still happening. Is it going to keep going forever?

”Roxy?” Kane asked. I stiffened in my seat. He’d finally heard me. All plans to not get involved went out the window.

I”m here. I stood up from the table.

”I”ve got to go,” I told my team. ”I”ll see you at our training session.” It was in an hour, and I couldn”t be late. The twins exchanged sneaky grins.

”Someone”s getting a call,” Jessie said in a sing-song voice. Mild embarrassment couldn”t beat my joy from the knowledge that Kane could now hear me.

”I have to have a conversation,” I told them with a roll of my eyes. ”With someone you don”t know.”

”It”s the vampire,” Jordan said. ”We technically don”t know him.” Holt gave me a pitying look as I started to shake my head, but I stopped. There was no point in insisting it wasn”t true.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I turned to see Colin, who had come to join us for lunch. He must have overheard everything. He watched me with a knowing look but merely offered a smile as he joined the table.

Great. The twins were going to tease me for hours. It was fine. I could handle them. If they went too far, I could just hand out extra training. Part of being a leader was learning how to balance out their personalities. For the twins, it meant taking advantage of their desire to avoid extra work whenever possible. I liked handling the background issues among my teams now that I had a better grasp on things. After all, I’d become a fine leader in the end.

What”s been going on? I think it”s been three days since I saw you. I knew full well how many days it had been, but I wanted to act casual. Did he even remember the kiss? It”s nice to hear your voice again. I had no idea where we stood, but I genuinely missed him.

His voice rang out in soft reply. ”I”ll say the same to you. I”ve been fed, so it feels like my brain is fully functioning again.” Although the volume of his voice was low, our connection was strong. I made my way outside and ducked into a more private area of the courtyard. There was one particular bench that was tucked away behind a hedge, where I could talk to myself without looking crazy to onlookers. ”I”ve been in and out of consciousness for the past few days. I had the craziest dreams…” He trailed off mysteriously. My lips tingled from the memory, but I didn”t press it. He might have been thinking of something else. If he wanted to bring it up, he could.

”You sound a lot better,” I said cheerfully. ”They”re taking good care of you, from the sound of it.”

Kane grunted. ”I know. It”s humiliating to go from fighter to feeding off another vampire. I hate this coddling. I”m not a child.”

Annoyance pricked me. Everyone needed help sometimes; it wasn”t a moral failing. He could be so stubborn, but given everything I’d heard about his childhood… I understood him better now. He had a drive to succeed because he had to be the best. I wanted him to know that he didn”t need to push himself to do that all the time.

You looked bad when I found you. It”s amazing that you sound this strong. The Pocket Space was a rough place.

”You”re right about that.” Kane paused. I picked a stray piece of lint off my pant leg, lest Hindley chastise me after lunch. ”Thank you for rescuing me, by the way.”

The compliment hit me straight in the chest. My heart thumped excitedly. No problem. You think I could leave your stubborn butt behind? You”d probably come back to haunt me. I was partially deflecting his warmth to spare us both from losing face. A happy glow enveloped me. This was the only way Kane and I knew how to act with one another. We had a careful dance of never getting too close, despite literally being in one another”s heads. I”m really glad we didn”t lose you.

I could tell he was smirking when he replied, ”Same here. I remember hearing your voice calling out for me… It was hard to keep my eyes open at that point. I barely remember you arriving…” He trailed off as he spoke, his confident tone giving way to a moment of tense silence. Anxiety struck me. What was he thinking? Once we knew the other was listening, it was easy to distinguish our real thoughts from talking. I gnawed viciously on the end of my thumbnail.

Kane coughed, interrupting my anxious stewing. ”Well, I can tell you about the Pocket Space, if you want. It might be, uh, useful for your work. I woke up there after the meld.” Kane fell into a more serious tone. I liked the powerful way he spoke because it sent an exciting shiver through me. ”It seemed like only a few weeks passed for me, though. I”m shocked that it was three months in the Mortal Plane.”

The time there is strange.It was something Lyra had mentioned to me. There were a few things I wanted to ask him about, though. Someone mentioned children being there. Do you know anything about that? I know you mentioned others.

He sighed. ”Yes, there were some children and teenagers. I don”t know why I was the first to come across them, but I was. There were humans, a harvester, a wildling, and a couple of vampires. Turns out I”m not great with kids, but they still wanted to be around me.”

I held back a mocking laugh. Kane with kids all around him? You were a supernatural babysitter.

”I tried,” Kane said defensively. ”I couldn”t just leave them there alone. They were weak and silly, most of them. They thought the material was fun. It was a bit of a game for them, in the beginning, to throw themselves at the wall and jump off. They were wary of me at first, but then they grew to like me… I mean, I guess they did.”

I smiled to myself. It was a good mental image.

”Anyway, I earned their trust. We had a visit from a creepy cloaked group who looked like rejects from one of your horror movies,” he relayed. ”I scared them off, and the kids really seemed attached to me after that.”

I gripped the edge of the bench. Interesting. I quickly told him about the situation Lyra and Dorian went through, not knowing if he’d heard about it from his healer.

”Oh, I have some stories about that group,” Kane said with a dark chuckle. The warm feeling in my body grew. Kane as a protector of children was very attractive. ”We had to steal from their hideout on several occasions. The human kids needed food. You guys starve pretty quickly.”

Very empathetic of you.

”Food didn”t grow there, so we had to make do,” Kane said dryly. ”I rarely got a chance to feed on the cloaked freaks, but I tried a few times. They had a few vampires among them, like you said. I lost my strength after a while, and they tried to hunt me down. Before I had to leave the kids, I tried my best to teach them how to protect themselves. I was trying to draw the cult away from them… and I was trying to find you. Before that, we found safer ways for them to move through the network of tunnels.”

He spoke with a fierce loyalty to them. It impressed me, given his previous distaste for children. You sound fond of them.

”I”m just worried. There’s no food in that place. I want to go back and help them. They were resisting the weird group, who kept coming around to try to recruit them into… well, I don”t even know. I never let them get very far. I”m worried what they’ll do to the kids, now that I”m gone. And now, there”s no way to go back, according to the healer. She said the monster was dead.” Kane let out a frustrated grunt. ”Plus, I still have to heal up fully.” The latter part was said bitterly. It reminded me of how hard he’d had to work as a kid.

Sounds like you need to get back there. After he healed, I told myself and not him. His dedication impressed me, though. I want to help you. I don”t know how yet, but I will.

”I appreciate it,” Kane said, then laughed weakly. ”But there”s not much you can do from the Mortal Plane.”

Were our lives going to continually be entangled like this? It was push and pull with Kane. I’d watched Lyra and Dorian, the way their attraction had ascended like climbing a staircase. With Kane, I never knew if I was getting a tiny spark or a giant bonfire in my face. I slumped back against the bench. We weren”t together like Lyra and Dorian. We couldn”t be, could we? He lived in the Immortal Plane and I belonged here, working for the Bureau… the very organization that used to hunt him. He, as a vampire, was classified as dangerous in the Mortal Plane. It would be impossible for us to move around freely together with all those obstacles in place. Also, the idea that Kane would admit that he liked me? I wasn’t sure that would happen. I wasn’t sure about anything.

I stamped down the idea of a romantic connection. My ultimate goal would be a professional one. It was what we needed to do if we wanted to help people. Kane was clearly pretending that the kiss never happened, so I would too.I could deal with my feelings about him and eventually resolve them, but I wanted to be friends.

My heart hurt, but I would push on. The memory of the kiss lingered. It made me feel warm and fuzzy, but I hoped that feeling would gradually fade.

We need to figure out something with this mental connection. I”m not sure if we can control it, but maybe we can give each other a heads-up when we hear the other. I didn”t want to hear anything else that he didn”t want me to.

”I don”t want to hear any more awkward dates,” Kane said. I couldn”t tell if his dark tone was annoyed or teasing—perhaps both.I rolled my eyes.

I”ll try to keep you updated about all my dalliances. We”ll figure it out.

It was our strange new normal, but I was happy it included Kane, even like this.He was alive and well. I was in the Mortal Plane, getting ready for my next mission with the Hellraisers. I had never felt more capable of leading a team.

It was time for me to step forward in my life. Adventures awaited me. I could feel it.