Page 43 of Daring with a Duke (The Jennings Family #2)

43

Epilogue – Ash

One year later…

London

FELICITY PULLED AWAY from Ash, rolling toward the edge of the bed, and Ash threw an arm around her middle, dragging her back to him. “Ash,” she protested. “We must start getting ready.”

He pressed his lips to the nape of her neck. “Just a little while longer.”

She melted against him, and he hugged her tighter to his chest. If he could, he’d hold her forever like this, cocooned into him, quiet, at ease, nothing but their soft synchronized breaths, the comforting feel of her heartbeat against his palm.

Felicity let out a contented sigh. “I wish we could stay like this, but tonight needs to go perfectly.”

She did a delicious wiggle of her bottom. His cock gave a valiant effort at showing how much it appreciated that sweet arse rubbed up against it. But it and its owner were spent.

“Plus, we both know you need some time to recover from your duchess wearing you out.” She extricated herself from his embrace and threw him a wink.

Ash reached for her, but she jumped out of the way, a smile lighting up her face. “You know there are plenty of ways your duke can solely entertain you, Duchess. Even if I may not be ready in other ways.”

Her smile split into a full grin, and she leaned forward and pecked him on the mouth. “Nice try, love.” She straightened and grabbed a lemon drop off the night table before heading to the door connecting their chambers in their London town house.

Ash had learned quite quickly of his wife’s obsession with any and everything lemon flavored. So, in addition to Cook always including a lemon dessert on the menu, Ash had lemon drops littered throughout their homes.

“We need to get ready for this ball. It’s important,” she called back to him, all amusement fleeing her tone, a heavy seriousness left in its wake.

He slumped against the bed with a groan. “Do we have to gooo?”

“Yes, we do. For two major reasons. One, you need to be there to support your best friend. The Jennings and Stuart families will be there tonight throwing the weight of their titles and standing behind him. And truly, we need to start being seen in society.”

She turned to him in the doorway, hands planted on her hips, her thin brows set in a firm line. Determined. His warrior duchess, ready to take on the ton. “The scandal of our marriage will only grow and fester if we leave mystery to it. If we face it head on and show the ton we’re some nauseatingly in love couple, it’ll die out like a candle run out of wick.”

She turned up her nose, lifting the back of her hand to her forehead with a dramatic huff. “How dreadfully boring we’ll be. A husband and wife in love . So bourgeois.” Felicity dropped her hand and waggled her eyebrows.

“We also need this to be over with before Pandora debuts in a few years.” She pointed at him, jaw setting mulishly. “I will stop at nothing to make sure she is a success. That she has every opportunity available to her. With opportunity comes the chance to find a husband deserving of her.”

Ash’s stomach flipped over. No one would ever be good enough for his daughter. And he was…scared. For her. Her future. Her heart. This world…was not a kind one. “Can we not just keep her with us forever? I hate the idea of putting her welfare in another man’s hands.”

“Your daughter deserves love, Ash. And while right now she may be content with her horses and small flirtations with your farrier—”

“W hat!”

Felicity bit her lip against a threatening smile and leaned her gorgeous nude body against the doorframe. “Yes, your farrier. I don’t think Pandora realizes it, but that boy? He looks at her like she’s hung the moon, stars, and heavens above.”

Ash frowned. “I’ll have to have Barrow keep a closer eye on them.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about, love. Billy is a lovely boy. He is always nothing but perfectly respectable with Pandora. He always keeps a proper distance, and I have not once heard him break from deference and call her anything but Lady Pandora.”

Well, that’s no surprise. Billy was the most pure-hearted, decent lad Ash had ever met. His gut had known when he’d found him on the side of the road two years past. And time and time again, Billy had proven that gut-instinct correct.

“I’m not worried about Billy, Lissy. I’m worried about Pandora.” His daughter was blissfully unaware of the very concept of propriety. With his luck she’d compromise Billy—albeit accidentally.

“Oh.” Realization lit his wife’s amber eyes. “Well, yes. I suppose that is a valid concern.” Her brows puckered, pretty pink lips pursing. “We should write to Barrow. But right now, we need to get ready for the Chesterfield ball.”

Felicity turned and ambled into her chamber. His gaze locked on her bare bottom, delighting in the slight sway of her hips.

He blinked, snapping himself back to the topic at hand. “Lissy, wait!”

She spun to face him and studied him. “What is it, Ash?”

He rolled his lips in and then blew out a breath. “There is something I’d like to discuss.”

Ash swung his legs over the side of the bed and beckoned her closer. She padded to him and her hands settled lightly on his bare thighs. He took her hands, weaving his fingers in and out of hers. He stared at the distracting movement, gaze unseeing. “I was thinking that perhaps we could discuss the topic of having children again,” he whispered.

An almost indiscernible jolt went through her. With anyone else, he wouldn’t have noticed, but he was always aware of every minute detail when it came to her. One of her hands left his and coasted along his jaw, lifting his chin until their gazes met, warm amber irises caressing him.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, husband.” There was something different in her tone. Something hesitant, apprehensive. Something that had never been there before when they’d had these discussions.

His brows came together as he studied her. Her face was as blank as he’d ever seen it, giving nothing away. And that set his teeth on edge. He drew in a deep breath, slowly letting the air fill his lungs, letting it push out the fear.

“I—I don’t want to deprive you of a family, Felicity. Of children. Just because of my fears. My past has caused us enough struggles as it is.”

She regarded him, her whisky gaze searching for something. “Are you are saying…if I truly wanted children, you would set your fears aside? Or are you saying that is something you want as well?”

He dropped his head to her breasts and let out a groan into her silky soft skin. “Yes,” he said hoarsely.

Her hands gripped his head and slowly pulled him back to look at her. He sagged into her hands, letting her hold up the weight bearing down on him. The one caused by the argument he’d been revisiting more and more frequently with himself lately.

“I’d want us to have a whole litter, Lissy. But not at the expense of your life. I couldn’t— I can’t—”

Her gaze dropped to the floor, and she gnawed at her lip. The apprehension was back, furrow deepening between her brows.

“Lissy, what is wrong? Something is not right. I can feel it.”

A breath flew from her, surrounding him in the scent of lemon and sugar. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain…”

His stomach flipped over. Oh God. He knew where this was heading. “But-but-but-but-but.”

She squeezed his jaw, and he stopped his panicked stuttering. But his heart didn’t.

“I am only a week late in my courses.”

The air he’d been holding trapped in his lungs burst from him and his entire body slumped. “Oh, a week? That is probably nothing. I did quite a bit of reading on the subject and spoke to midwives when Pandora was coming of that age,” he blabbered. “I… she didn’t have a mother. I didn’t know what to do, but I wanted to have information for her. And it’s quite common for courses to be variable. So, it is most likely nothing. Especially considering the precautions we have been taking.”

His lips curved up. Yes, it was nothing. No need to panic. He glanced at his wife, whose eyes were glowing with mirth, lips twitching. His brows crashed together. “Why are you laughing at me?”

A small snicker escaped her lips. “Because you are utterly adorable. And such a wonderful father.”

She dusted her knuckles over his cheek, and he couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and leaning into it. But her next words had his eyes flying open.

“But Ash, darling, I have not once been late in my courses.”

His heart and his stomach started up a competition for who could tumble around inside Ash the wildest. “So— You are saying…” He swallowed audibly.

“Most likely, yes. Precautions are not foolproof, love. But it sounds as though you are coming around to the idea…”

He was. He was when it was an idea . But now? Now it was real . No. Absolutely not. He jumped up and strode to his dressing room. Bloody hell. Felicity was with child. Bloody fucking hell.

He grabbed a pair of trousers and stomped his feet into them. God bloody damn it. This could not be happening. He had wanted time to discuss. Then they would have both agreed: Yes, children were a great idea. And then they would have planned it all out. In a way that allowed Ash to come to terms with the fact and obtain a grip on his fear.

He whipped a shirt over his head, his pulse tapping erratically against his throat. Shite, shite, shite . What if he lost her? He couldn’t lose her. His heart twisted, tightened, like a cloth being wrung out. Oh God, he was going to be sick.

The soft press of hands landed on his chest, drifting up to his neck. “Ash, darling, breathe with me.” Felicity’s gaze locked on his and her shoulders rose in a deep, gradual breath, and then her lips parted and a slow whoosh of lemon-scented air puffed over him.

He mimicked her and managed a semblance of a normal breath, though it was still particularly choppy.

“Again,” she murmured.

That one was better.

“We’ll get through this together, Ash.”

He dropped his forehead to hers. They had to.

“Do you really think something like childbirth could fell me?” she whispered against his lips. “Am I not your warrior? Your goddess? What kind of goddess would I be if I let something so common conquer me?”

He let out a small huff. She did have a point there. Unfortunately, his panic was still nowhere near close to dissipating. He needed to see Sam. He needed a hard ride. No, what he needed was a swim, but that wasn’t something he was going to be able to do in London.

“And Ash?”

He leaned back, shaking off his spiraling thoughts.

“You put your trousers on backward.”

He glanced down to where the fabric of his trousers sagged in front of him and he became distinctly aware of cool air on his arse. He smiled weakly. “I may have lost my composure.”

“Yes, just a touch,” she said, her lips pressing together to stave off her smile. She lifted and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I am assuming you are running off to see Sam in your alarm?”

She knew him frighteningly well. “Yes,” he said sheepishly.

“Go, try to ease your mind as best you can. I have a feeling the next nine months are going to give you quite a few more grey hairs.”

He closed his eyes and let out a low groan. He was worried about Felicity’s welfare, but he wasn’t truly certain he was going to survive this.

“Go,” she ordered. “But bring Landon with you and your attire for tonight. You are in no uncertain terms to do anything to hinder Sam’s night with this. It is much too important. Lord knows how he’s doing with it all, given my brother is an utter clodpole.”

Ash grimaced as he walked over to the bell pull to ring for his valet. It was still deuced odd to have someone else dress him instead of Sam. But Felicity was correct. Sam’d had a hell of a year and with everything that had transpired over the past month, Ash would be there fully supporting his best mate.

He blew out a breath. Perhaps, it would also serve as an excellent distraction from the anxiety growing like a thorny vine around his lungs at the moment.

Fucking hell. He didn’t think he’d be able to breathe for the entirety of the nine terrifying months. Not until the babe was delivered and his child and wife were both alive and well.