Page 40 of Daring with a Duke (The Jennings Family #2)

40

Felicity

F elicity watched with a half-smile tugging at her lips as Felix and Pandora battled in a faux fencing match in the middle of the enormous library after dinner. They each held a broom by the handle, Felix shouting instructions as the two scuttled back and forth. Pandora gave an exaggerated sweep with her arms and sent a pile of books on an end table scattering across the floor. A giggle fled Felicity’s lips.

It hadn’t taken very long for her well-behaved and proper brother to drop the act—the one he wore when out and with company—and let his true self come out. The Jennings were quite adept at pretending, it seemed. It made Felicity exceedingly happy to see him so at ease here. That he could be as free as he was at home. Perhaps because her heart longed for this to be her home. A place her family would visit. A place she might have her own raucous family of her own.

With a Duke who was notably absent. She’d been informed he’d left the estate and wasn’t expected to be back until late. She wasn’t sure what his leaving signified. Her fingers fidgeted in the fabric of her skirts.

She had mentioned her troubles to Felix, and he’d informed her the Duke had met with him early that morning. That they had come to terms with the events that had happened. Whatever that meant… Felix had been frustratingly tight-lipped about the whole thing. But he assured her there would be no duel. Her brother was no longer murderous, which seemed to bode well. Ash had disappeared, which seemed to… not bode well.

For now, all she could do was wait. Wait to have the conversation where they finally determined whether Ash would marry her. No pistols at dawn to force his hand. Just each of them making the choice. To choose each other.

Grunts and thuds brought Felicity back to Felix and Pandora’s next round of fencing. Their battle turned vigorous, both panting and jousting sharply with their broomsticks. Pandora landed a forceful jab in Felix’s chest, and he fell in exaggerated fashion to the ground, clutching his chest.

“You’ve killed me!” he cried and extended his arm, reaching out for Pandora, before letting it drop to the floor and slumping in a boneless heap.

Pandora toed him with her slipper. He remained lifeless, and Pandora broke out in a fit of giggles. Felicity snorted, her lips twitching with mirth. Fifi never did anything in half-measures.

A muffled cough drew her attention to the door of the library. Mr. Thorne leaned against the frame, a smile fighting valiantly to break free on his grim face. His gaze was locked on Felix, his eyes glimmering with something Felicity couldn’t quite put her finger on. Her brother’s towering form rose in her periphery, and Thorne’s gaze never once deviated from him. Interesting .

Felicity broke out in applause, gaze still fixed on Mr. Thorne. “Exceptional acting, dear brother. Worthy of the stage at Drury Lane.”

Mr. Thorne’s eyes darted her way and widened when they clashed with hers. Her smile grew as his faded, a light blush blooming on the man’s cheeks. Wow . The dark, rough behemoth that was Mr. Thorne— blushing . Granted, she didn’t know the man all that well. But the blush was definitely a surprise.

He cleared his throat and stepped into the room. He made his way to Felicity, and Felix froze. Felicity’s gaze bounced between the two men. Felix’s gaze locked on Mr. Thorne, and Mr. Thorne doing everything in his power to pretend Felix didn’t exist. But if the man’s clenched jaw and stiff movements were any indication, he knew Felix’s eyes were boring into him. And he wasn’t in the least unaffected. Now, whether that was because he wanted to kill her brother or kiss him, she wasn’t sure. She almost started clapping again. This was enthralling, better than the juiciest gossip. And a welcome distraction from her own love troubles.

Mr. Thorne stopped before. “His Grace requests your presence at the observation floor of the Corner Tower.”

Felicity blinked. So, the absent Duke had finally returned. “When did the Duke return? He was absent for dinner.”

“He returned some thirty minutes ago.”

Jitters streamed through her and settled in her stomach.

Mr. Thorne glanced down at her wringing hands. “Just enough time to wash and then he requested your presence.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly. That had to be a promising sign.

She glanced at Felix, but her brother’s face was unreadable. Pandora still aimlessly fenced with an imaginary opponent. Felicity bit back a smile, and then let it spread freely across her face as an idea came to her.

“Thank you, Mr. Thorne. I will go to the Duke immediately.” She stood, but Ash’s valet stopped her and withdrew a letter from his coat.

He handed it over to her. “You’ll want to read that before you make your way to the tower.”

She frowned at the unsealed letter. Odd. She began unfolding it and turned to the fencing Pandora. Time to put her idea into place.

“Oh, and, Pandoraaa,” she sang cheerily. “I just had the most wonderful idea. Do you not think it would be most beneficial if you practiced your waltzing with Felix? As he is not familiar, it will help build your confidence with dancing with strangers.”

Pandora spun to her, her broomstick coming frighteningly close to Felix’s head, and he jumped out of the way just in time. “That’s a brilliant idea! We should go practice straight away!”

“I love your enthusiasm, darling. Oh, and how perfect with Mr. Thorne here. Mr. Thorne, you will play for them, yes?”

If looks could injure, Mr. Thorne’s flat, grim expression would do just that. She patted his arm and tried to look sympathetic, but her lips twitched. Oh, she could just cackle with glee!

“Splendid. Thank you for being so agreeable, Mr. Thorne.” She blinked at him innocently, and she thought he might have just growled at her. Ha!

She glanced down at her letter. Follow the letters I’ve left in the hall and stairwell that lead to the tower. I’ll be waiting. — Ash

Curious.

She made her way to the library doors and called a “have fun!” over her shoulder. So perhaps she was meddling a little. A tiny bit. A touch. A mite. She had no idea what was going on between Felix and Mr. Thorne, and it didn’t seem like Felix knew either. So, what better way to find out than to force them to spend more time together. Felicity grinned. That and Mr. Thorne’s playing was pure skirt-lifting in how beautiful it was. Or she supposed…trouser-dropping?

She paused after she exited the library and scanned the hall. Sure enough, there, resting on one of the many hall tables, was a folded piece of parchment. She hastily made her way over to it and snatched it from where it leaned against a marble bust. How your smile lights up your eyes.

A gentle, almost indiscernible flutter started up in her heart. Whatever was this? She began her journey down the hall again, scouring the tables until she saw her next letter. She scurried forward. How you have the most adorable toes.

She let out a soft snort. Was the man in his cups? But even as she thought he might be dicked in the nob, she was smiling. She tucked it in with the first letter and went in search of the next one. She didn’t have to walk far: How you do these little breathy snorts when you’re amused.

Are you bloody jesting? She whipped her head around, scanning the hall for him, though she knew it made no sense. The note was already written. He couldn’t have heard her snorting not even a moment ago. It was as if he saw her. Like perhaps he had always seen her… She hurried to find the next, and the next, and the next. Your creative swearing. The way you call me Duke. How you have no qualms putting Colborn in a headlock. (Which he would have rightly deserved, I might add). The way you waggle your eyebrows when you’re being saucy. The way you make me feel when you do nothing but look at me.

Her hand lifted to her chest, and she drew in a shaky breath. Her heart was most definitely fluttering now. She blew out her breath, as if preparing herself for a battle. She didn’t truly know why, but she just knew she needed to fortify herself before she found her next note. She was at great risk of melting into a puddle. And if she did that, she’d never make it to the top of the tower.

She entered the tower and made her way up the stairs until she saw another note resting on a window ledge. How you are genuine, accepting, and kind. You accept Pandora, regardless of her quirks (I have a separate note on that). You even respected something as unorthodox as a hobby of collecting and talking to rocks. What is important to those you care about is important to you. The rock you gave me at the cove was the most precious gift I have ever received. I think it was the first time I felt as though someone might be able to accept me, flaws and all. I wish I could put into words what that means to me. But as always with you, words fail me. And now, for the sake of complete honesty, I need to fess up to something: I have never collected rocks, nor named them, nor talked to them. But I do now. My collection starts with yours. The beauty you gave me is resting on my nightstand. She and I had quite the chat last night after I acted like England’s biggest bloody arsehat. Anyhow, I was thinking we could call her Wilhemina, Willow for short…since you found her by Willow Grove.

Well, that little sniveling sly-boots! She smiled, shaking her head at the note. At the silly bloody fool. She should have guessed, she supposed. He’d admitted over their chess match that he had been trying to dissuade her. And with every attempt, she had only fallen harder.

She started up the steps again. By the time she found her next note, she was panting. So. Many. Blasted. Stairs. Ash couldn’t have picked somewhere with about fifty fewer steps? She snatched up the next note. Thank goodness he had left these to break up the climb. How you are with my daughter. I am sure you are unaware, but the morning after you arrived, while we were breaking our fast, Pandora provided you with the perfect opportunity to extend your stay here. She desperately wanted you to remain for her birthday. But you chose not to prey on a young girl’s hopes. In that moment, I knew I was in grave, grave trouble. You may have attempted seduction with scandalous dresses and suggestive statements—but seeing you comfort Pandora after my near-accident at the arena? Seeing you provide advice to her woman-to-woman in our kitchens? Helping her gain confidence in dancing a waltz? Never judging her and embracing her instead? It was the most effective seduction tactic you never intended to employ. You are everything I could have ever wanted in a mother for Pandora.

Goodness, everything was tight all of a sudden. Her chest, her throat, her lungs. She fanned herself. Were the walls closer than before? She could swear there was less air to be had now. She blinked rapidly and gruffly cleared her throat. That bloody Duke was going to have her puffy-eyed and blotchy-red if he kept this up.

She hurried up the steps and paused at the last window—the last note—the doorway to the top of the tower only a handful of steps away. You are strong. You are tenacious. You are a warrior. You are a goddess walking amongst mortals. My Freya. There are endless reasons I could list in these notes, Lissy, but there are some things that I would prefer to tell you in person. I’d ask that you ascend the remaining steps and join me at the top of the tower. —Your Duke

She paused and took a bracing breath. Which did absolutely bloody nothing to calm her rioting heart. Then she took the remaining stairs and stepped out onto the observation deck.

And was stunned by a sunset setting the heavens afire.

Ash’s silhouette, his back to her, stood stark against the burning reds and oranges and pinks streaking through the darkening purple-black sky. Tapers littered the tower’s stone floor, hundreds—if she were to guess—scattered around the perimeter. She followed the small path left from the doorway to the center of the tower where blankets were strewn across the floor. Her eyes flew to a basket, a bottle of wine, glasses, and finally back to Ash—facing her now.

“What is all this?” And even though she whispered, her voice was loud in the quiet dusk air.

A soft breeze kicked up, and the flames of the torches lining the walls of the round tower created dancing shadows on the stone. She shivered, and Ash quickly strode to her, snagging one of the many blankets along the way, and wrapped it around her shoulders.

He stepped up close to her, his stormy blue gaze, the color nearly discernible in the rapidly fading light, glued to hers.

She opened her mouth, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips and a small shake of his head.

His knuckles grazed over her jaw. “There are a few things I would like to say to you, should you be so inclined to grant me the opportunity.”

She dipped her chin, gaze remaining locked on his.

“My entire life I have always felt so alone here, growing up and throughout my marriage. In a place so massive you get lost, even from yourself. It is not a cozy, warm place to live. It never felt like home. No matter how hard I tried, it never felt like home.”

He reached out, trapping a loose tendril of hair the soft breeze had sent fluttering over her face. “Until you, Felicity.” He tucked it behind her ear and cradled her cheek. “Until you stepped foot inside. And I tried to ignore the fact. Because you were young and betrothed to my son.

“I tried to hide from it, from the strong pull you have on me. Something that should be easy in a castle such as this. But it seems no matter how hard I fight it, I cannot hide—cannot keep myself away from you.”

He let his hand drop and looked away. “I thought it was fate’s way of punishing me, and I welcomed that. It was nothing less than I deserved.”

She made a small sound of disagreement in the back of her throat, but he shook his head, meeting her gaze again.

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for what happened,” he said hoarsely. “But I want to try, to move past it, to move forward. And I believe, with you by my side, I’ll be able to.”

With her by his side…

“You are home to me, Lissy. After three-and-forty years, I finally feel as though I’ve come home. Because of you.”

“So, what does that mean, Ash?” She searched his gaze, and not even the quickly darkening night could hide the emotion swimming in his shadowed gaze. She needed him to say it, she needed to hear the words.

“I love you.”

He leaned back and coasted his knuckles up and down her neck. She shivered.

“I cannot express the depths of my penitence for causing you to think that I need an excuse to marry you. The last thing I need is an excuse to marry you, which is why I have been trying to come up with excuse after excuse not to marry you. And not one of those reasons had anything to do with you and had everything to do with issues I struggle with, with my past that weighs me down.”

She nuzzled into his hand, forcing him to cradle her face. She let out a happy sigh, as did her glowing heart. Because after all of those notes? How could she not believe the truth in those words?

“You said it yourself: I have been fighting this, what is between us. One does not fight for or against something if one is indifferent.”

He cupped her face in his hands, and her eyes flitted shut at the feel of his warm, strong, certain finger. His lips coasted over hers as he spoke. “What I feel for you is not indifferent. It is not soft. It is not tame. It is raw and unrestrained and painful in its ferocity.”

A soft growl rumbled from him. “God, and these measly words, they are a pitiful, inadequate attempt at explaining what I feel for you. No number of words on parchment would ever do it justice. Because what I feel for you? The love filling every part of me that is purely for you? That love is as vast and endless as the heavens above us and burns just as brilliantly as the stars that reside within it. I am helpless against it. Helpless against you.”

Oh, this blasted silver-tongued man. She was nothing but a puddle in his hands.

“I want the best for you, Lissy, and that will never be me. But if your choice is me? Then I will acquiesce and let myself be the selfish bastard I have been struggling to keep at bay, thanking my bloody stars the fates have finally decided to shine down on me.”

His thumb brushed softly over her bottom lip. “I love you, Felicity. And I want to spend the rest of my days with you. With you as my wife. Loving you.” His hands drifted down her neck, coasting down the sides of her breasts, and she sucked in a breath. “Worshiping you,” he said, settling his hands just above her hips and drawing her tight against him. His lips drifted over hers. “Will you marry me, Lady Felicity Jennings?”

She melted into him. “It’s about bloody time.”

His chuckled, breath puffed against her skin as he skimmed his lips over her cheek. “I take it that is a yes?”

“Yes, Duke.”

He grinned against her lips and brushed his nose gently back and forth against hers. “My duchess,” he murmured.

She hummed softly. “Finally, that word feels right.”