Page 2

Chapter Two

N icolle had a never ending to do list of action items and Aydarr the Supreme Alpha thought nothing of adding new tasks. She had assistants now, where before she handled all aspects of the job herself, but there were numerous things only she could undertake. She was on a com call to Kelli in Stores as her door opened and Jamokan, her mate’s Alpha walked in without knocking. Technically she was in Jamokan’s pack as well, being the claimed mate of one of his soldiers.

“I have to go, Kelli,” she said, taking one look at Jamokan’s face. Her heart sank as she broke the com connection. “What can I do for you today?”

“Where’s Darik?” he asked, taking in the clutter on her desk with a raised eyebrow.

She felt judged but Jamokan wasn’t the neatest person either. Then his question sank in and Nicolle blinked. “I have no idea. Doing whatever you or Aydarr assigned him to do today, I suppose. We didn’t talk much this morning.” In fact they hadn’t talked at all. She’d grabbed a survival ration to quiet her grumbling stomach and left while her mate was in the shower. Easier that way. Lately their conversations had all been awkward and uncomfortable. The loss of her pregnancy was taking up all the space in the room. She kept her grief to herself, locked inside. Darik didn’t seem to be much affected. Oh sure he’d been devastated in the first few days but since then he hadn’t mentioned the crushing end to their dream. He’d gone on with his life as if nothing had happened. She wasn’t made that way. She’d had dreams about motherhood, about the child they were going to have—a small boy version of Darik, she was sure. A rascal, no doubt, into all kinds of trouble but smart and loving. Giving up those dreams was hard and even more difficult when your partner didn’t appear to share the emotional devastation.

And each month passed without managing to get pregnant again.

Jamokan was staring at her and Nicolle realized she’d drifted off into her private spiral of grief

“No, he isn’t,” the Alpha said once he had her attention. “I don’t believe he’s even in the valley and he had no orders to leave today, much less to take a flyer and vanish.”

“Darik wouldn’t do that,” she protested, automatically defending her mate. “Maybe Aydarr sent him on a mission.”

“And no one told me?” Jamokan scoffed. “Right now he’s supposed to be at the training grounds, supervising the obstacle course. He never showed up. I had an odd call from the control tower advising me he’d taken a flyer out without orders, much less a flight plan. Now where is he, Nicolle, and what is he doing?”

“I—I have no idea.” She put a hand to her chest to quell her rampaging heartbeat. “We should check with Aydarr.”

Jamokan spread his hands in a ‘what are we waiting for’ gesture and tipped his chin at her in agreement so she rose from her chair and walked around the desk to join him. Together they walked to Aydarr’s office, where the Supreme Alpha and his three enforcers were in a meeting. Jamokan barged in, Nicolle trailed behind him, ready to placate Aydarr if necessary. She wished Jamokan was less impulsive but he wasn’t going to change at this point in his life. Becoming a claimed mate had softened his rough edges a bit but he still charged straight ahead and had little patience.

“One of my best men is missing,” Jamokan said, standing in the center of the office, hands on his hips as the four men stared at him. He looked ready to fight. “Did you send him somewhere and forget to tell me?”

“Who?” Aydarr asked calmly enough.

“Darik.”

“No, he’s not on a special assignment and I would inform you,” Aydarr said with offended dignity.

Jamokan pulled out a chair and indicated for Nicolle to sit. After a cautious glance at her boss, she did so and folded her hands in her lap. Where in the seven hells had her mate gone today and why? On his own too, which wasn’t a good idea. Badari strength was in the pack and it was extremely rare for a man to be sent out alone. But her mate was a lone wolf, she remembered with dismay. They’d only met in the first place because he’d taken an assignment far to the north, on his own.

By now seated himself, Jamokan recapped his concern about Darik having taken a flyer without authorization and left the valley. “His outbound flight was hours ago as far as I can tell and he hasn’t communicated, not with us and not with Nicolle.”

Aydarr checked with her, one eyebrow raised and she shook her head. “I didn’t know he was gone.”

“What does the pack bond tell you?” Aydarr asked the other Alpha.

Briefly Jamokan closed his eyes. “He’s far away and he isn’t answering me.”

“Nicolle, what are you getting through the mate bond? Can you communicate with him?” Aydarr’s sharp question recalled her from her worrying about where her mate was.

She reached for the mate bond, saddened to see it tarnished and frayed in her mind. She sent a pulse of love out along the mental tie but there was no response. “He’s not answering me either. I don’t get the impression he’s in danger but I don’t know where he is.”

“The flyers are equipped with trackers,” Mateer said, entering the conversation for the first time. “Easy enough to locate it.”

Glaring at him, tips of his fangs showing, Jamokan said, “You don’t think I checked immediately after hearing he’d taken one? He disabled the tracker.”

“We need to find him before the Khagrish do,” Aydarr said. “One man out there alone is at grave risk.” He stared at Nicolle. “And if he’s not thinking clearly right now, the danger is even higher.”

“He hasn’t been himself since your miscarriage,” Jamokan said bluntly to Nicolle. “He’s been carrying a heavy burden of grief.”

In shock, she didn’t know what to say to him. Darik showed his feelings to his Alpha, but not to her?

Aydarr cast her a look of concern, his brow furrowed. “I’m sure his mate is well aware of his emotions, Jamokan, and shares them. The event was hard for both mates.”

Another stunner, that the Supreme Alpha could speak so kindly to her about their loss, while in the midst of a not-too-subtle challenge from Jamokan. Before she could reply to Aydarr, he continued to speak.

“I can probably find him, if you’ll link to me, Nicolle.” He held out one massive hand and she placed her own trustingly into it. “The Great Mother has given me additional abilities now I’m Alpha over all the packs.” He gave Jamokan a sidelong glance and Nicolle heard the three enforcers stifling amusement. Aydarr and Jamokan might have been equals a long time ago, when the packs were prisoners in the Khagrish labs, but Aydarr had only grown in dominance and power since their escape to Sanctuary Valley. Many credited his mate bond with Jill Garrison for at least part of his increased stature. She’d rescued the Badari and was a strong-willed human woman who loved him fiercely.

Nicolle gasped as Aydarr’s power sizzled into her from their joined hands. She closed her eyes and rocked in the chair a bit as his will overrode her own. At his command she reached out along the mate bond again, seeking to locate Darik and Aydarr went with her, adding power to the link until she could hardly bear the mental pressure. Her ears rang and dizziness assaulted her. The world faded into darkness as she heard Aydarr said with triumph, “Got him.”

Nicolle revived to find herself reclining on the couch in Aydarr’s office, with Jill of all people wiping her forehead with a cool cloth. Disoriented, she sat up and the other woman braced her.

“Take it slowly,” Jill advised. “Aydarr said he exerted a lot of power. It must have been hard on your body and mind.”

“But we found Darik?” Nicolle asked, unsure if she’d actually heard the Supreme Alpha claim success.

“You did. He’s at the Great Mother’s circle, at the original lab,” Jill said. “They’re going after him shortly.”

Spurred on by a flash of adrenaline, Nicolle got to her feet and stood swaying for a minute. “I’m going.”

Forehead wrinkled in a troubled frown, Jill said, “It’s a military operation. I’m sorry but he took an unauthorized jaunt into enemy territory, using a flyer he didn’t have permission to take. Since it’s Darik, I’m sure he had good reasons, which Aydarr and Jamokan will want to hear and give full consideration to, but right now your mate’s in a lot of trouble.”

Appalled, Nicolle stared at her, mouth open. “Are you serious? I can’t believe the Alphas would treat Darik like a criminal.”

Jill shook her head. “This is more than a stunt or a lark, Nicolle. We need to know what’s going on with Darik. I know he’s been upset about losing the baby?—”

“He told you ?” As soon as she cried out the words Nicolle wished she could yank them back and leave them unsaid.

“Not directly, no but the pack bond’s been unsettled. Aydarr’s been pretty worried.”

“I don’t have time to discuss this now,” Nicolle said, heading for the door and fighting her residual vertigo. “I’m going on the retrieval mission.”

She made it to Aydarr’s conference room with increasing strength and copying Jamokan’s early approach, she opened the door and sailed in, Jill right behind her. “I’m going with you to get Darik,” she said directly to Aydarr. “He’s my mate—it’s my right.”

“Actually, I think it’s a good idea for her to go,” Jill said from behind her, shocking Nicolle. “Whatever’s going on with Darik, the presence of his mate will be calming.”

“I agree,” said a new voice from behind her and Nicolle wheeled to see Timtur the senior healer standing at the entrance to the room. “You told me Darik was at the Great Mother’s grove so we must assume one possibility is she sent for him.”

“I’m not discounting anything,” Aydarr said. “Darik is a good man, one of our best and this is totally unlike him. He’s more than earned our forbearance until we find out what is going on. I told Gabe to meet us at the landing field in ten minutes, so let’s move out.”

The Supreme Alpha lingered to kiss his mate goodbye. Nicolle walked out of the room with Jamokan.

“Darik is one of the people I’m closest to on this damn planet,” the canid pack Alpha said to her as they walked. “I’d defend him to my last breath and I know he’d do the same for me. Stop worrying about pack justice and let’s focus on what’s going on with Darik himself.”

“Are your enforcers going with us?” she asked, a little mollified but not entirely reassured.

“Of course. Aydarr’s are too but because they’re our best soldiers, not to carry out any summary punishment. Mine are meeting us at the landing field.” He squeezed her hand in a comforting manner and sped up to walk with Mateer and Kierce.

Nicolle was happy not to be required to make conversation with anyone else. When she got to the flyer, she was ordered to board and take a seat in the front and the Badari remained outside for about five more minutes, strategizing. Finally she heard them boarding and Gabe passed her, heading to the cockpit. He patted her shoulder as he went. Aydarr and Jamokan came to sit across the aisle from her and she craned her neck to check the seats behind which were occupied by the enforcers. It was rare for all of them to go out on a mission together but with Aydarr’s safety at stake, as well as Jamokan’s, she wasn’t surprised. A trio of the most senior pack soldiers sat in the stern.

Timtur came down the aisle. “May I sit?” he asked.

“Of course.” She wasn’t sure she wanted any company but at least Timtur had raised an optimistic possibility of the goddess herself having commanded Darik to attend her. It would be unusual but her orders would supersede anything else, even Aydarr himself. “Do you really think the Great Mother told Darik to fly to the grove?”

Timtur studied her face. “No. It would be most unusual, especially where he isn’t a healer. The goddess usually appears to us in visions but I felt it necessary to at least mention the thought. And of course the Great Mother is accountable only to herself so she could have chosen to do this.” He put his hand over hers and Nicolle saw the faint green aura which meant he was using his healing power on her. Calm descended on her body like a soft cloak and she took a deep breath, feeling the knots in her chest loosen. “These men love Darik, as do I. We’re brothers and nothing can break our bond. Your mate will be fine, no matter what is going on here. If—and it’s a big if—he’s done anything which Aydarr can’t forgive, any punishment would be minimal, trust me.”

“I do,” she said and not simply because he was saying what she needed to hear. Timtur was known to be a man of outstanding integrity. He’d never tell her things which he didn’t believe just to help her cope with anxiety. “You think he went to the grove because of what happened to us, don’t you?”

“The stone circle we built as a place of worship for the Great Mother in the valley is a beautiful shrine,” Timtur said. “She let it be known the site was perfectly acceptable to her and she has made her presence felt there. But for us, raised in the original lab, nowhere else is as special or sacred as her grove. Whatever Darik needed, whatever he was seeking, could only be found there. Our task now is to get in, find him, and get out before a Khagrish patrol detects his presence or ours.”

Much to her own surprise, Nicolle napped a bit during the long flight to the original lab. Her sleep was dreamless and she woke refreshed. It had been a long time since her head wasn’t full of the demands and stresses of her job being the valley’s chief administrator, which she’d allowed to pile up to distract from her lingering grief over the loss of the much hoped for pregnancy. Right now, as Gabe maneuvered the flyer over the complex and made his way to the grove, she couldn’t think about anything but Darik and what to say to him when they reunited.

We need to talk about a lot of things we’ve both been avoiding .

Timtur gave her a nutrition drink and insisted she consume the whole thing while Gabe was landing. The fluid was tasty and her energy level rose with every swallow.

Aydarr stopped at her seat as the squad prepared to debark. “Don’t be alarmed at all the weaponry my men are carrying. We have to be prepared for a Khagrish attack. You can come with us into the grove.”

“Thank you.” She rose hastily and fell in behind him. “Darik isn’t answering me. Is he talking to you?”

“No,” Aydarr said. “I can sense he’s here because of the pack bond but there’s no response.”

Nicolle found herself surrounded by grim faced Badari soldiers, with Camron specifically detailed to watch over her. The group dispersed to take up defensive positions outside the grove while Gabe lifted off in the flyer to maintain aerial coverage. Aydarr, Jamokan, Timtur and one enforcer from each pack set aside their weapons and walked into the trees, with Nicolle and Camron moving quietly behind.

She’d never been here before and was amazed by the sheer size of the trees, stretching hundreds of feet into the cobalt blue sky. As she walked among the giants, she felt as if she was already inside a place of worship, where anything was possible. The cool shade was a relief. Her stomach was in knots worrying about what would happen when she reached the glade at the center of the living circle. What should she say? What would Darik say? Would the Alphas give her time alone with him? Was the goddess going to be here?

The latter thought was terrifying.

When she emerged from the shade and stepped into the grassy meadow which was the heart of the grove, Nicolle stared across the wide expanse, shielding her eyes with one hand. Aside from a giant boulder in the exact center, the space was empty. Her heart took an extra beat and she had a hard time breathing.

“There, by the Great Mother’s chair,” Camron said, pointing with one talon. “He lies there.”

She rushed after Aydarr and Jamokan as the Alphas hastened toward the chair and what she could now see was her mate’s unmoving form, lying in the grass, with the purple flowers scattered across his entire body. “Is he dead?” she cried, although the mate bond told her Darik was alive.

Timtur turned as if to ward her off but she evaded his outstretched hand and fell to her knees next to Darik, grabbing at his hand, relieved to feel the warmth of a living man. Tears flooded her eyes and she fell onto his chest, weeping, but Darik never moved. “Wake up, sweetheart,” she said, brushing his hair, which was slightly disheveled, away from his face. She pressed a kiss to his lips but there was no response. “You’re scaring me, Darik,” she said as panic rose in her heart. “I can’t lose you too. I need you.”

Aydarr drew her to her feet, holding her in a comforting embrace.. Nicolle buried her face against his chest. “What’s the matter with him? Is he sick? Did he get bitten by a snake? Why won’t he wake up?”

Arms like bands of steel, he held her in a comforting grip. “Timtur is going to check for all those possibilities right now. He’s alive, we know that much.”

“I hesitate to remove the goddess’s flowers,” Timtur said, kneeling beside Darik, “But I fear I must.”

“I’ll do it.” Nicolle pulled free of Aydarr’s embrace and gently swept the blooms off her mate’s body. The perfume was hypnotic and she was afraid she might swoon too but persevered until there was a pile of the purple blooms lying about a foot away. She shifted position to cradle Darik’s head in her lap while Timtur called forth his healing powers and tried to come up with answers.

“He seems deeply asleep,” the healer said at last. “Not ill, not dying, but as if he was hibernating or in cryo sleep. This can only be an act of the Great Mother.”

“Which leaves us no closer to the answers we seek,” Aydarr growled. “What brought him here and to what end did she cast him into this state?”

“Can we pull him out of it?” Jamokan asked. “We’ve got two Alphas here and his mate.”

“I wouldn’t advise it,” Timtur said. “At least not right now. Give it time and see if the condition resolves itself.”

“We shouldn’t linger, boss,” Mateer said. “Gabe reports nothing on the scanners yet but our luck isn’t going to hold forever. There’s a reason we don’t allow travel to this spot.”

Nicolle continued to sit with Darik as an antigrav litter was brought from the flyer. She heard the conversations around her, about the flyer Darik had taken being found and soldiers dispatched to fly it to the valley and a decision was made to keep Darik in the hospital once they got him safely there. She was numb, her pain held deep inside. She wished with all her heart she’d taken the time to talk to him this morning, rather than hurrying out of their residence to avoid conversation. Maybe if she hadn’t been so self-protective, he’d have discussed whatever made him choose today’s actions. Maybe she could have talked him out of it.

After he was lifted onto the litter she walked alongside, holding his hand, which was warm but his fingers didn’t close around hers and he remained in his comatose state. In the flyer, she was allowed to sit next to the litter, with Timtur watching over both of them but unable to offer any true assistance.

The flight to the valley passed in a daze on her part, as did the walk from the landing field to the hospital. Darik was installed in a room and no one asked her to leave him. A reclining chair was brought for her and Jill made an appearance to assure her no one expected her to do anything else but sit with her mate. The packs and her assistants would handle her many tasks without her. Anything she needed she had only to ask for.

Finally she was left alone with Darik in the hospital room. Dr. Garrison promised to check in regularly, as did Timtur.

“None of this is going to help,” she said to Darik as she looked around the room. “Is it? Only the goddess can undo this situation, I’m guessing.”

The doctor had impressed on her that Darik could probably hear her even in his deeply unconscious state, so she knew she ought to talk to him but right now, Nicolle was so exhausted and scared she thought any words she spoke would have the opposite effect of encouraging him to wake up. So she held his hand and ran her fingers through his hair. She closed her eyes and studied the mate bond, dismayingly fragile. I need to build this back up, reinforce our connection.

“The most important thing is I love you,” she said out loud. “I’ll never stop loving you. I was lost in my own pain and regret over what we lost and now I’m understanding you were too. We were together but miles apart and we shouldn’t have been. You’re a stubborn Badari and I’m a stubborn mate-who-was-human and we’re going to have to do better at handling the rough spots of life.”