Page 16 of Darcy in Distress (Pride and Prejudice Variation #17)

“You are going to marry Jane?” Bennet demanded in disbelief.

“Yes, of course! Indeed, it was initially my reason for journeying here; Lady Catherine told me, when I first began serving as parson at Hunsford, that I must marry, and soon. Marry, Mr. Collins, she told me. Marry a gentlewoman, for my sake, and for your own sake, choose an active, sensible sort of person, who can make a small income go a long way. Furthermore, when I told her of my situation, that I am heir to Longbourn because of the entail away from the female line, she told me, with her usual condescension, that I should choose one of my charming cousins as a wife, to better mitigate the pain of loss when you pass on to your Heavenly reward, though of course there is no reason to think that you will die any time soon, Cousin Bennet! That is what she told me to do, and that is partially why I am here. The other, more important reason, of course, is to be available to my patroness’s esteemed sister, nephew, and niece.

Nonetheless, I am certain that a man of my abilities can both serve the Darcys and pay court to my cousin Jane. ”

Mr. Bennet took a moment to cogitate before replying to his inane relation.

It was fortunate that Mrs. Bennet had taken to her bed; if she had been informed of Mr. Collins’s desire to marry one of her daughters, she would have insisted that Jane marry the man.

No, not Jane – Jane was her favorite child, along with Lydia, and Mr. Bingley had been quite attentive to his blonde beauty of a daughter.

It hardly mattered; he, as master of Longbourn, would not encourage a union between any of his daughters and this absurd parson.

Another, unpleasant thought occurred to him.

Would Jane perhaps feel obligated to marry the man?

She was such a gentle soul, and Longbourn was entailed.

Perhaps he had better discourage his guest from pursuing Jane.

“Mr. Collins,” he said finally, shaking his head slightly to clear it. “My Jane is a remarkable young woman, certainly, but I understand that Mr. Bingley, the new master of Netherfield, has been showing a great deal of attention to my eldest daughter.”

“Oh,” Collins answered, his brow wrinkled. “That is … well, naturally enough that is ... well, someone should have told me, though I suppose there has not been much time. Very well, Miss Elizabeth is second to my cousin Jane, in both birth and beauty. I will marry her.”

Mr. Bennet stared at the man incredulously and sighed deeply.

“Mr. Collins,” he said, picking his words with care.

This man would, after all, have the power to throw his wife and daughters out of Longbourn within days of his death, “my daughter Elizabeth is, I fear, a frivolous young lady and fond of novels. Mary, my third daughter, is a far more serious girl; she reads the Bible and Fordyce’s Sermons regularly.

If Mary is interested in marrying you, I will give my blessing. ”

“Mary?” the clergyman asked, his plump cheeks quivering in dismay. “Mary is, erm…”

Bennet clenched his jaw and regarded his heir with a combination of disgust and understanding.

Mary was the only one of his daughters who had not inherited their mother’s beauty, and naturally Collins wished for a handsome wife.

Nor could he entirely blame him. Bennet himself had offered for young, lovely, lively Fanny Gardiner more than twenty years ago.

It seemed many a man turned a fool when in the presence of a pretty face.

“I will consider the matter more, Mr. Bennet,” Collins said, rising to his feet and straightening his spine.

“Cousin Elizabeth is senior to Miss Mary, and thus ought to have the right to marry before her younger sisters. I feel certain that a young lady, when presented with the opportunity of marrying me, the heir to Longbourn – more than that, I am the rector at Rosings, and she will have the honor of meeting Lady Catherine frequently – as I said, when Miss Elizabeth…”

There was a knock on the door and Bennet, thoroughly exasperated, called out, “Come in!”

The door swung open to reveal Mr. Jones, the apothecary. The man looked startled and shook his head, saying, “My apologies, Mr. Bennet. I did not realize you were engaged…”

“Not at all, Mr. Jones, not at all!” Bennet exclaimed heartily.

“Mr. Collins, perhaps we can speak of this at another time. I must consult with Mr. Jones. Ah, of course you do not know one another! Cousin, our local apothecary, Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones, my cousin, Mr. Collins, who serves as a parson in Kent.”

The two men bowed to one another, and Bennet said hastily, before Collins could open his mouth, “As you know, Mr. Collins, my wife is ill, and I must speak to Mr. Jones. I will see you tomorrow morning when we break our fast.”

This was comprehensible even to Mr. Collins, and after a few sentences of apology and farewells, he walked out of the study, closing the door behind him.

Bennet sighed deeply and managed a small smile for his guest.

“Please sit down by the fire, Mr. Jones. May I pour you either some brandy or port wine?” he asked. He felt himself in need of a stiff drink after his painful interaction with his foolish cousin.

“Port wine, please,” Jones answered, taking a chair next to the fire. Bennet relished the minute of silence as he poured a glass of wine for his guest and a cup of brandy for himself .

“Well, how is Mrs. Bennet?” he inquired as he handed Jones the wine, then sat down across from his guest. “I daresay her nerves are provoking her again?”

Jones took a sip of wine, and for the first time, Bennet noted the look of concern on the apothecary’s face.

“There is not anything truly wrong, is there?” he asked, a frisson of unease trickling down his spine.

Jones bit his lip and then leaned forward a little, his blue eyes fixed on Bennet’s brown ones. “There is no easy way to say this, Mr. Bennet. I am quite confident that your wife is with child.”

Bennet’s chin and arm both dropped, though he had sufficient presence of mind to keep his cup from spilling. “Mrs. Bennet is … she cannot be! It is quite impossible!”

Jones flushed at these words and, after a painful pause, said, “I am sorry, sir, if that is an unwelcome surprise. I confess to being startled as I would not have thought that Mrs. Bennet would…”

Bennet gaped in confusion and then shook his head hastily, saying, “No, no, it is not that there is any possibility that, erm, Mrs. Bennet has been unfaithful. We are, erm, yes, we are often, ah, intimate . No, it is impossible because she had a difficult birth with Lydia fifteen years ago, and the midwife said she would never conceive again. ”

Jones huffed in relief and said, “That was old Mrs. Sampson, I believe? She retired before I moved into the district nine years ago. I have no doubt she was a good midwife, but she was incorrect; Mrs. Bennet has not had her courses in three months, and based on my examination of her, she is expecting a child.”

“Why did she not tell me? And is it safe for her to have a child at her age?” Bennet demanded.

Jones took another sip of port and said carefully, “Mrs. Bennet refuses to believe she is pregnant, sir. She ascribes her nausea and fatigue to influenza or something of the sort.”

Bennet blinked and asked hopefully, “Surely she might be correct? She is two and forty years of age and has not conceived once since Lydia was born. Does it not seem more likely that she is ill with influenza?”

Jones set down his glass and clasped his hands in his lap.

“Mr. Bennet, I spoke at some length with Mrs. Bennet tonight. I was previously unaware of this, but I think it likely that your wife has in fact conceived several times since Miss Lydia was born, but the pregnancies all ended in miscarriage within a few weeks. She is unwilling to consider that possibility, but based on her description of her symptoms, it is probable that she has in fact conceived but lost each child. ”

Bennet leaned back in his chair and sighed deeply. “So if she is pregnant, she will likely miscarry again?”

“I am not an accoucheur or midwife, of course, Mr. Bennet, but in my experience, a woman who is ill has a better chance of carrying the child to term than a woman with no symptoms. She has not been this unwell since giving birth to your youngest daughter, so there is hope.”

“But her age!”

“Oh, as to that, your lady wife is but two and forty,” the other man said with an encouraging smile.

“Many a woman has successfully birthed a child in her forties. I fear she will need additional rest and attention, but Miss Bennet is a most capable young lady, and I have no doubt that she and Miss Elizabeth can run the household.”

“Indeed,” Bennet said faintly.

/

“It does not seem possible,” Jane said feebly. Elizabeth, seated next to her on a loveseat in the library, could only nod in agreement.

“I concur, of course,” Mr. Bennet told his two eldest daughters. “Nonetheless, Mr. Jones is quite confident, and he is a sensible man with substantial experience. ”

“She did look dreadfully ill when I saw her today,” Jane murmured. “Poor Mama...”

“Mama has not had a child for fifteen years!” Elizabeth said.

“It is possible that she is not pregnant,” her father said. “Another possibility is that she is increasing and will miscarry soon. In any case, she is, at the moment, quite ill. Jane and Elizabeth, I depend on you both to manage the household while your mother is feeling so poorly.”

“Of course we will, Papa,” Jane assured him. “Do not worry. Elizabeth and I, with some help from Mary, have managed before when Mother was unwell.”

“But this time we have to cope with Mr. Collins,” Elizabeth pointed out grimly.

“I am sorry, Lizzy,” Mr. Bennet said apologetically. “I did my best to turn his attention away from you to Mary, but he is, despite his obsequiousness, a pig headed man.”

“Oh Father, surely you would not force Mary to wed such a foolish man!”

“Force?” Mr. Bennet asked, his eyebrows raised. “No, of course not. I will not force any of you girls into an unhappy marriage. However, Mary has an earnest nature and might be pleased to marry a clergyman. ”

“I daresay that is true, but surely not this clergyman? Mr. Collins is absurd!”

“My dear,” Mr. Bennet said wearily, “it has been an exhausting day for us all. We should go to bed and get some rest. For now, let me assure you that I love and appreciate you both, and that I will not force any of my daughters into an unwanted marriage.”

“Yes, Lizzy, we ought to go to bed,” Jane said, rising gracefully to her feet and pulling her sister up with her. “In any case, once Mr. Collins learns of Mother’s illness, perhaps he will leave.”

“I doubt it,” Mr. Bennet responded unhappily. “He is determined to serve Lady Catherine by staying within a few miles of her Darcy relations, though how he can possibly assist them, I cannot imagine.”

“You could tell him to leave,” Elizabeth pointed out.

“I could, of course, but I do not believe that would be a wise decision. He will, unless your mother bears a son, be master of Longbourn when I leave this mortal coil. I would not care to insult him by forcing him to leave when he very much wishes to stay.”

Elizabeth sighed and nodded. “I understand. Good night, Father.”

“Good night, both of you.”