Page 17 of Damnation (Gallows Hill)
Chapter Fourteen
Thomas
My palms have been sweating, my hand trembling for weeks in anticipation for this day. ‘Tis one I knew was coming, yet prayed it would be held off. I have overseen many trials, many accusations, and hangings. Though this is the one I have long feared, for I ought not know how to feel of such.
Today is the final trial for Sarah Good, as well as others.
Though she is the only one I care for. I have instructed the jailer to keep me informed on her condition.
He wrote to me Monday of last week, speaking of how her pregnancy has advanced.
She can often not stand on her own and requires aid.
Elizabeth Booth has been an ally to her since recovering from a sickness and has looked after young Dorothy as well.
That brings me peace, along with guilt, for it should be me taking care over those girls.
I would like to speak on why I am not, I just…
my mind is not well. These thoughts and truths all blend together, leaving me unsure of where to go or what to do.
The only thing I can think to do is stay the course, seek out evil, and deliver peace.
‘Tis the notion that allows me sleep at night, at least.
M y writing is sloppy upon this horse, but it helps to release my thoughts onto parchment. As if I am allowing them to be set free. When I arrive at the jail in Ipswich, unease fills me as myself and several others dismount and journey towards the entrance.
One by one, names are called out as we collect our charges. Sarah is the last, and she looks to Dorothy with tear filled eyes, promising her all will be well. A promise I made and broke not too long ago.
I keep my emotions steady as I allow her to walk first out the door. My eyes cannot help but take in the way she walks, the weight of her child too much to bear on her thin frame. Our child.
Memories of impassioned nights beside the creek flash behind my eyes as I do.
What a different time that feels like. A time of excitement and joy, peace, love…
if I could do anything, turn back time, I’d go back to nights like those.
I’d have taken Sarah into my arms, and we’d have run as planned.
Never to look back. A fantastical plan like that has no promise now.
Everything has changed, I have changed, I have no doubt she has as well.
We are not those people anymore, and though I know that is my blame to bear, there is no undoing it.
The accused begin walking on foot, chains in hands of the men here for them, but I will not allow Sarah to walk.
Helping her upon the horse, I rest my hand onto her belly before it moves.
I startle as our eyes meet, and I keep my hand in place.
Again, a kick, hard enough to practically feel a whole foot through her.
A tear falls down her face, matching a deep sadness inside of me.
My hand rubs against her belly, as if a way to soothe it in such. Soon, the baby settles, and Sarah pulls herself upon the horse. We ride in silence for quite some time until I speak lowly for only our ears to listen.
“When will you give birth?”
For a moment, I do not think she will grant me a response. I should see no reason why I deserve one, and am accepting of such, until her sweet voice rings out into my ear.
“I imagine soon. The baby feels as if it has flipped, and I have begun feeling the practice pains.”
I nod at that, swallowing roughly as I ask the thing on my mind I ought not speak.
“I would like to be there, for the birth. To hold your hand, hold the baby. If you will allow it.”
She turns to look at me, indignation in her features.
“Whatever for?”
I open my mouth to speak, though I do not have a word that comes to mind. She turns away to face forward once more as she speaks.
“You are Thomas Putnam. I have never heard you ask permission for anything in your life.”
She is not wrong.
“‘Tis the least I can do, to grant you this privacy if you so desire.”
“Well, I do. I so desire as much privacy away from you as possible. I beg of you, allow any other to escort me from here on out. The sight of you sours my stomach,” she sneers.
Her words punch holes into my chest, though I stay silent, allowing it to do so.
‘Tis less than I deserve for how I have betrayed her.
But she often forgets how she betrayed me.
I loved her so, and she deceived me. She claims to be a woman of light, but I see no way.
Not for what she has admitted to me in private.
She is…a woman I could never be with…never have. And I hate her for it.
The tension inside me rises with each step of my horse’s hooves, and when we arrive in town, I feel as if I will be sick.
One by one, we dismount from the horses, escorting our charges inside the courthouse.
‘Tis a full crowd this day, my entire family there to bear witness.
My wife wears a smug grin, casting cruel eyes to Sarah in a way that fills me with rage.
Hutchinson speaks first, calling all attention forward.
“We have come together for the final sentencing of Rebecca Nurse, Susannah Martin, Sarah Wildes, Elizabeth Howe, and Sarah Good. The findings are as follows. In the case of Rebecca Nurse, guilty. Susannah Martin, guilty. Sarah Wildes, guilty. Elizabeth Howe, guilty.”
I know the next words that are about to leave his mouth, yet I am unable to face them. I close my eyes and tense, as if a physical blow is coming.
“Sarah Good, guilty.”
Just like that. ‘Tis as if a gun shot has exploded inside of my chest. In one way and out the other, I am hollow. The other women cry out and sob, but not Sarah. She remains composed, frozen like a statue.
“All five have been found of witchcraft and are due to hang at Gallows Hill immediately.”
“No!” I shout before I can help it.
The entire courtroom stills as all eyes land upon me. I meet Parris and Noyes, their eyes narrowed in curiosity as I continue.
“Chief Justice, Mrs. Good is with child. Surely the child ought not suffer the sins of the mother?”
Even as I speak the words, they taste of ash on my tongue.
He nods his head from side to side as if he were weighing his options before nodding.
“Agreed, we shall not forsake the unborn for the living’s sins. Hang date shall be set once the child has been birthed. Ensure Ipswich is aware of the communication necessary.”
I nod my agreement and settle an idea in my mind then and there.
I may not be able to have Sarah the way my soul craves, but I can have our baby. I can love them and cherish them and raise them in her absence. Then one day, when they are old enough, I will teach them about their mother, only the best parts.
I cannot save her, but I will save my child.