Page 70 of Daddies on Ice

Getting involved with one player would be complicated enough.

But having feelings for two?

Well, three if I’m honest, because there’s definitely something with Carl too.

What kind of person does that make me?

But I can’t deny the truth.

Jake makes me laugh and reminds me to be spontaneous.

Ash makes me feel safe, protected.

Carl represents reliability, steadiness.

All of them are incredibly attractive in different ways.

The problem is, I can’t have any of them. Not really.

Even if they wanted more than a fling, I have Becky to consider. I can’t risk bringing someone into our lives who might leave when things get complicated.

The memory of Mica surfaces, making me shiver. How charming he started before becoming possessive and controlling.

The threats he made. His determination to find me after I left.

Even with him safely in prison, thinking about him makes my skin crawl.

But Jake isn’t Mica,my mind reminds me.Neither is Ash or Carl. They’re good men who would never hurt us.

Maybe not physically, I argue back. What happens when Jake gets bored?

When Ash decides a single mother isn’t worth the complications?

When Carl decides I’m too young? Becky’s already lost one father figure. I won’t put her through that again.

The clock glows 2:47 a.m., as my thoughts continue to spin in circles. Outside, snow continues falling past the window.

Christmas is nine days away, and I wonder what it would be like to spend holidays with someone special.

Someone to help with decorations, wrap presents, and drink hot chocolate while snuggled up watching movies.

But that’s just fantasy with no place in my reality. I’m a single mother with a job and a daughter to protect.

The irony isn’t lost. I’m obsessing over three men when months ago I couldn’t imagine letting anyone close.

The walls around my heart had seemed impenetrable, forged by years of running and hiding. But somehow they’ve started crumbling.

Maybe it’s how Jake makes Becky giggle, or how Ash ensures she has extra hot chocolate.

How Carl treats her like his granddaughter.

They treat her like she matters, not like an obstacle to getting what they want from me.

Or maybe I’m just tired of being alone, carrying everything myself, and pretending I don’t need anyone.

Because I do need someone.

Not to take care of me, but to share the load, be a partner.