Page 105 of Daddies on Ice

36

TISH

The tears come without warning, hot and fast, spilling down my cheeks before I can stop them.

I press my hands to my face, mortified that I’m falling apart like this. What must Jake think of me? What must any of them think?

“Hey, hey,” Jake’s voice is soft, concerned, and suddenly his strong arms are wrapping around me, pulling me against his warm chest. “Tish, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

I try to speak, but only a sob comes out.

This is so embarrassing.

I’m a grown woman, a mother, and here I am crying like a child. Jake’s hand strokes my hair, his touch gentle and soothing, and somehow that makes me cry harder.

“Did we hurt you?” His voice is tight with worry. “God, Tish, if we did something?—”

“No,” I manage to choke out, my voice muffled against his chest. “No, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Then what is it? Please, baby, talk to me.”

The endearment sends a flutter through my chest, even through my tears.

I take a shuddering breath, trying to compose myself enough to explain. But how do I put this into words? How do I tell him that I’m crying because I’m ashamed of how much I enjoyed what we did?

“I’m not,” I start then stop, wiping at my eyes. “I’m not crying because I regret last night.”

Jake pulls back slightly, his green eyes searching my face. “Then why?”

Heat floods my cheeks, and I have to look away from his intense gaze. “I’m crying because I enjoyed it.” The words come out in a rush, barely above a whisper. “I enjoyed every second of it, and what does that make me?”

Before Jake can respond, there’s a knock on the door. My heart jumps, and I quickly try to wipe away the evidence of my tears.

“Tish?” Ash’s voice comes through the door, followed by Carl’s deeper tone.

“We brought coffee,” Carl adds.

Jake looks at me questioningly, and I nod, even though I probably look like a mess.

He goes to open the door, and both men step inside, their expressions immediately shifting to concern when they see my tear-stained face.

“What happened?” Ash demands, his brown eyes flashing as he looks between Jake and me. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Jake says, holding up his hands. “You just interrupted me trying to help.”

Carl sets down a tray of coffee cups and moves toward me, his blue eyes soft with worry. “Trisha, what’s wrong?”

The way he says my full name, the gentle concern in his voice, nearly sets me off again. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to meet their gazes.

“I was just telling Jake that I’m not upset about last night,” I say, my voice still shaky. “I’m upset because I enjoyed it so much.”

Ash’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why would that upset you?”

“Because what kind of woman does that make me?” The words burst out of me, all my shame and confusion spilling over. “What kind of woman sleeps with three men at once and loves every minute of it? What kind of mother am I?”

The silence that follows is deafening. I can’t bring myself to look at any of them, certain I’ll see judgment or disgust in their eyes.

“Look at me,” Carl’s voice is firm but gentle. When I don’t comply, he steps closer, his fingers tilting my chin up until I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “You’re a woman who deserves to feel pleasure. You’re a woman who’s been taking care of everyone else for so long that you forgot to take care of yourself.”