Page 25 of Cut Her Strings (Fractured Puppets #1)

Chapter 24

Fractured

I prepared myself to account the series of events that led to my time with Ivan. That led to one of the most painful times in my life. I did my best to contain the emotions that swelled, and I swallowed with difficulty as my mouth turned dry. I wasn’t ready, but even so, I started the arduous tale.

“I had just returned from the mission that killed Terra. I did everything in my power to save her in time, but unfortunately, they were not able to extract her before she succumbed to her injuries. When someone from our Faction is outed in a public fashion, the directive is to abort and return to headquarters as soon as possible.” I paused and took one more sweep of the men’s faces before shutting my eyes and continuing.

“At this point only Geoff, the doctor that saved me, might have known I was the Shadow, so I felt safe. No one actually knew for a fact who the Shadow was.” At their confused faces, I explained further, “Geoff was who I lived with when I wasn’t on a mission, and I decided early on that I needed one person to rely on while working for my Faction. I never explicitly told him, but I did share enough that he could have deducted it.” I breathed out heavily. “I felt untouchable. I completed the mission before returning, but I upset a lot of people in doing so. I can’t be sure, but I’m beginning to think that is when more became aware that I was the infamous Shadow. I should have done something, apologized maybe? But maybe it didn’t matter.” I opened my eyes back and grimaced at Jayce. “My next mission, as you so eloquently stated, was essentially a suicide mission. But I was cocky, no one had caught me yet. I could do what no one else could. Even knowing who he was, I” -my voice cracked- “I walked right into his web.”

I took a few steadying breaths, and I separated the memories from my body. They did not happen to me; they happened to the Shadow. That person was not me. I am Raven. I am Raven.

A hand grabbing mine startled me out of my reverie. I was shocked to see it was Maverick.

“Did he manage it?” Maverick asked in a gruff voice. “Did he break you?”

“Almost,” I rasped out. “I managed to escape as soon as I felt myself fracture.” I looked at Maverick with a fresh appraisal. “Did he break you?” I returned the question.

Maverick shuddered, and his trembling fingers tightened on my hand. “Agony does not reside in the rationale,” he breathed heavily. “He would have, but about two weeks after I was given to him, he found his special bird .” He paused. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

I jerked my head in a nod.

“Did he,” Jayce didn’t seem to know how to ask the question, “did he assault you… sexually ?”He added the word softly at the end.

“He wouldn’t have,” Maverick answered for me. “He only does that after they’re broken. ”

I bowed my head in agreement. “No, he thinks breaking someone should be done mentally and through physical torture. But he spoke about what he wanted to do and how he was going to use me.” I shuddered again. “I could feel myself unraveling.”

“How long did he have you?” Maverick wheezed out. He was visibly shaken by this entire conversation.

I steadied my erratic breathing. “Five months.”

Maverick was coiled even tighter than before. “Five months?” He stroked the scars on my wrists. “How did you manage, how did you escape?”

“I separated. Shadow was who he hurt; I was Raven, and I was safe. I kept my true self locked away. And when he thought I was nearly broken, he began to play cat-and-mouse with me. He would release me and let me think I was free, but he would always find me and punish me.” I jolted when Maverick’s hand squeezed mine again, and I was shocked to see the reverence that shone through his eyes. “As the time passed, I knew that he was getting annoyed. That it wouldn’t be much longer until he did what he had to do to make me one of his pets.” I finally met Maverick’s eyes. “Did you ever see his other pets?”

“No,” he confirmed gruffly.

“You wouldn’t have, I guess. They lived in his personal rooms. They were essentially house pets that would do whatever they could to keep him happy.” This was the part that I struggled with, that I would never forgive myself for. My eyes burned as tears threatened to fall, but I would not allow them. I pushed Raven deep into the recesses of my mind, and I tumbled into the numbness of the Shadow. “There was a girl he had; she was maybe six? She was rumored to be one of his bastard children, but he didn’t care about such proclivities. She was one of his pets all the same.” I gulped down the despair that still threatened to spill out. “As his frustrations grew, he realized that when he hurt her , it affected me. He made a game of it.”

This was a deep trauma that I was desperately trying not to process or allow to consume me. “He went too far. She died.” I swallowed down the bile. “I knew then I didn’t have much time; I couldn’t keep going. On his next cat-and-mouse game, I didn’t run. I laid a trap. I made a false trail I knew he would follow, and I fought him.” Liquid ran down my face at this point, I wasn’t sure when the tears had started to freely flow. “He had the bulk, but I surprised him. Pets didn’t fight back.” I felt the disgust resurface.

Ivan’s hard cock rubbed against me throughout the entire fight. He got off on it.

“I thought I wasn’t going to beat him, but then the girl who he had killed, her mother, another one of his pets, she,” I hiccupped, “she fought him, too. She was able to buy me the time I needed to escape.” I steadied my voice. “I know she’s dead. Just like her little girl. Because of me. Because I wouldn’t break how Ivan wanted me to. Because I fought back. Because I dared to escape.” I was losing the internal battle and emotions started to slip through my walls. I felt like a lost, idiot, na?ve girl.

“That wasn’t on you; that was him,” Maverick murmured.

I finally turned my attention to the other men; their expressions were a mesh of fury and sorrow.

“I’m so sorry,” Jayce’s voice came out brokenly. “You shouldn’t have gone through that; I should have looked for you. I should have known you would cheat death.” He reached forward, caressing my cheek. I leaned into the comfort.

Maverick suddenly startled, dropping my hand. “It’s really him? 189 is Ivan? Why? ”

“It is,” I confirmed. “He is purposefully altering his appearance. He volunteered . He said it was for me. He heard I was going to be in this year’s games. The sick fuck must have Sponsored himself.”

“Fuck,” Maverick expelled the word.