Page 9 of Cursed Fox (Willow Creek Security #4)

CHAPTER NINE

Lex

I scrubbed my hands along my beard long after Nancy went back to her room. I hated that she had seen me at my worst.

Well, maybe not my worst. As far as dreams went, this wasn't the worst one I’d had. At least I hadn't woken up ready to take someone's head off. That had happened a few times over the years, and each time it did, I swore it would never happen again.

Too bad I didn't have any more control of my dreams than I did on the curse of my life.

Knowing I wouldn't be getting sleep again for a while, I decided to grab my phone and call Maverick. My boss answered after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Did I wake you?" I didn't have the slightest clue why the question popped out of my mouth. Of course I’d woken him. It was only oh four hundred, and there was no reason for Maverick to be awake.

"Yeah, but it's okay. Night terrors?"

"Yeah." What I hadn't told Wes earlier was I did speak to someone about my dreams. Maverick insisted I call him any time I got them so we could talk them out. I wasn't sure if it helped or not, but I indulged my boss if for no other reason than he was there for most of what had happened to me.

"Which one was this?"

I cleared my throat. "The incident before Wes and his team rescued us."

Maverick knew all about that day, so it wasn't like I needed to explain much more than that. Besides the night my parents were killed, it was the worst thing to happen in my life.

"You know it wasn't your fault, right?"

It was the same conversation we had every time this particular night terror reared its ugly head. Maverick was convinced that if he said it enough times, I would one day believe it.

"It was my fault."

"No, man, it wasn't. It was those bastards’ fault for making you choose. You chose right."

Deep in my cold dead heart I knew he was right. I had the choice to protect my country, and that was what I did. But it came at a significantly high cost.

"Tell that to the poor woman's family."

"They were told the truth. Terrorists were responsible for her death."

Maybe so, but they weren't the ones who ended her life. That blame lay solely on my shoulders.

Thankfully Maverick understood the need to change the subject. "Tell me about this favor Wes needed."

I took a deep breath before I answered. "He asked me to help his office manager, Nancy Green."

"Isn't she the mother of Jimmy Green? The first-year running back for the Oklahoma Pioneers. I thought I read that in the Willow Creek Press several months back."

I rolled my eyes at the mention of the local newspaper. That damn thing was nothing more than a gossip rag on all things Willow Creek.

"Yeah, she is. He's been receiving threatening letters in the mail after the rough season he had. Jimmy wasn't taking them seriously, but Nancy asked for Wes's help anyway."

"But he couldn't help because of Jennie, so he called us," Maverick surmised. "Makes sense. I would've thought he’d ask Bravo Team first, but maybe they were on an assignment."

"Wait, you knew about the cancer?" I didn't hide the accusation in my tone.

“He told me when they first found out."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because it wasn't my news to share," Maverick defended. "I figured he would say something when he was ready."

I shook my head, even though my boss couldn't see me.

"So why didn't Wes ask one of his teams?" Maverick effectively changed the subject back to my assignment.

"She didn't want them to know," I explained.

"Ah. Makes even more sense now. So what do you need from us? Any credible threat, or just the ramblings of a pissed-off fan?"

I thought about the letter jammed into my pants pocket on the floor. "The last letter threatened to harm Nancy if Jimmy didn't quit."

My boss whistled from the other end of the phone. "I would say that's credible. Where are you now?"

I scoffed. "You mean Nolen hasn't tracked my location?"

"If he has, he didn't tell me."

"I'm in Oklahoma City, but I'm not sure that's where we’ll stay."

I didn't want to be in the same town as the person threatening Nancy.

If that was even where the person lived.

Without seeing the actual envelope, there was no way for me to know.

But unless Nancy wanted to travel the country with me, my options were limited.

And that was something I seriously doubted she would agree to.

"You going to bring her home to Willow Creek?"

Now was as good a time as any to tell my boss what I’d been thinking about the last few weeks. "Willow Creek isn't my home. Nowhere is. And, no, I don't think I'm ever coming back."

Maverick cleared his throat. "Don't do this, Lex."

I hated to hear the hurt in my boss's voice, but I couldn't be like the rest of them. "You had to know this was coming. I didn't want to come to Willow Creek to begin with. I said I would try, and I did."

"You barely gave it a couple of months," Maverick argued.

"But I gave it a chance, and now it's time to move on. There isn't enough in Willow Creek to keep my mind busy. I need more."

I doubted there was any place that could keep me as busy as I needed to be, but I had to look. Maybe just traveling around the country would do the trick.

"And where do you plan on going?" Maverick wasn't giving up. Not that I expected him to. There was a reason out of the seven of us he became the boss. He was a natural-born leader who cared a little too deeply about those in his command.

"Not sure yet. I was planning to leave when you called me about Wes's favor."

I stayed quite while my boss let out a torrent of curses. The man sure knew how to string together some good ones.

When he finally paused, I interjected with, "Pretty sure, as the boss, you were supposed to clean up your language."

"Fuck that. You guys are giving me even more gray hairs than I already have."

I chuckled at the thought. Maverick reminded me of Santa Claus. If he went anymore gray—or, heaven forbid, even white—kids would be lining up to sit on his lap.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I won't be your problem for much longer."

He sighed heavily. "Lex, I'll worry even more because you aren't here."

The man took too much of the world on his shoulders, and I told him as much.

"I know it, but I can't help it. I wish you would give Willow Creek more of a chance. I think you would come to like it."

I thought about what Maverick said. It wasn't that I didn't like the small town.

In fact, it was great. The people were nice.

Maybe a little nosy, but overall nice. The town had its appeal.

The problem was the lack of excitement I needed to keep busy.

My mind needed to be solving problems, not listening to the latest drama unfold.

I was happy my friends were settling in nicely and finding women to spend their lives with, but that wasn't in my future, and I couldn't pretend that it was.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, but we both know it's not what I need."

"It could be. Have you given more thought to talking to someone?"

What was it with everyone wanting me to talk to someone about my night terrors?

Couldn't they just understand that there was no help for me.

That I didn't deserve any. I was forced to kill an innocent woman so I could protect my country. I deserved to have those dreams as a reminder of what I’d done.

"No, and I don't plan to."

Again with the heavy sigh. I was disappointing my friend left and right throughout this conversation. "One of these days, you're going to realize it's okay to forgive yourself. You don't need to keep torturing yourself over what happened. No one would fault you for getting help."

No, but I would fault myself.

The sound of people moving around the apartment caught my attention. "I have to go." I hung up before Maverick could argue with me further. It would do no good anyway. My mind was made up. I just needed to get through this assignment first.