Page 17 of Cursed Fox (Willow Creek Security #4)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Lex

I could still taste Nancy on my tongue. And just like I feared, I was addicted.

Addicted to the feel of her body beneath my fingers. Addicted to the taste of her. Addicted to the fact that she was bold enough to make the first move and stand up to me. I enjoyed the whole package just a little too much.

The guys were lucky none of them said anything when we returned. They acted like nothing had happened, and continued on with the conversation.

Wes kicked my chair. "Lex, you still with us?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Wes gave me a disapproving look, and I could only imagine what he was thinking. Maybe he did know what happened in Nancy's office after all.

"We were discussing what to tell Jimmy."

I looked over at Nancy. She was biting the side of her lip, and I wondered if she too was remembering what happened in her office, or if she was worried about her son. Was it bad that I was hoping it was the first option?

"What does Nancy want to do?"

If the collective gasps were any indication, everyone was surprised by my question. It made me feel like a bigger jerk. I’d never meant to be an asshole when I excluded Nancy. I just wanted to take care of her.

"As a mother, I don't want him to know. But as someone who's worked in this business long enough, I know how important knowledge can be."

"Has the NFL made a statement about Jimmy's injury yet?" I asked her directly, almost pushing the rest of the room out of my focus. She wanted me to speak to her, and I was happy to do as she’d requested.

"Not yet. His manager has been able to keep it under wraps so far."

I thought about that for a minute. I had an idea in mind, but I couldn't say I liked it. "If the NFL releases that Jimmy was injured and will be out for the season but plans to return next season, the person threatening Jimmy will likely continue to send threats."

"You want to use Nancy as fucking bait?" Wes boomed. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

I turned to the man I respected and yelled back, "Do you really think I would let any harm come to her?"

"Your track record would say so," Wes fired back, and it was like a slap to the face.

How could I possibly forget that those around me died? I was such an idiot for thinking I could protect Nancy, or anyone for that matter.

"That's uncalled for." Maverick was quick to jump in and defend me.

"No, he's right. I've said it a million times. I'm cursed."

I got up from my chair and walked straight out of the room without looking back. I didn't stop to speak to another person. I didn't acknowledge Missy at the front desk when I passed by, and I headed straight for my Jeep.

I was just climbing in when Nancy came crashing through the door. She looked around until she spotted me, then rushed my way.

"Lex, stop."

I started the Jeep but didn't pull away. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't just leave her standing there while I left. Not again.

The old me would have, but after our time together in her office, I couldn't hurt her like that.

I waited until she climbed into the passenger seat before I spoke. "You should go back inside."

"Not unless you're coming with me."

I couldn't look at her when I replied. "You heard Wes.

Those around me get hurt. Some even die.

I couldn't live with myself if that happened to you.

" I needed her to live. To be safe. I needed to know nothing would happen to her, even if that meant me taking a step back so someone else could protect her.

"Look at me," Nancy demanded and I found I couldn't deny her what she wanted. I turned my head and found her piercing green eyes locked on me. "I know a lot of bad shit has happened to you, but that doesn't mean you're cursed."

"You don't understand." I could barely make sense of it myself some days. There was only so much a person could take, and I had hit my threshold. If I lost Nancy, that would be the end for me. She had my heart, even if I’d never intended to give it away.

Nancy took my hand in hers and pleaded, "Then help me understand."

"It started when I was twelve." I hated talking about this, but if I truly wanted her to understand, I needed to start at the beginning.

"I was spending the night at my friend’s house across town.

I was an only child, so my parents were using the time to go out on a date.

My friend and I got into a fight, so I stormed out of his house and decided I was going to walk home.

It was dark out and we lived in a pretty busy town.

It was before people had cell phones at the ready, so of course my parents didn't find out until they got home.

By that time, they were frantic to get out and find me. "

I was such a selfish asshole back then. As an only child of wealthy parents, I thought I was untouchable. I learned that night that wasn't the case.

"They were rushing so much, they ran a red light and got T-boned by another car. The worst part? I was less than a block away. I saw the whole thing. I ran to them, but it was too late. Both my parents were thrown from the car and died on impact."

If only I hadn't been so self-centered. My parents would still be here today.

"It wasn't your fault."

I pulled my hand away at her comment. "Yes it was. If I had just stayed at my friend’s house that night, they would never have been out looking for me."

"That might be so. But I tend to believe in fate, and when it's someone's time, it’s their time. That night it was your parents’. I know that's hard to accept, but it's the truth. There was nothing you could have done differently."

"Can you really say the same for every good man I couldn't save. Every soul I lost in war. And the innocent woman who died at my hands?" I stared out the front windshield, but Nancy wasn't having it.

She grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. "Yes, I can. Those are all things you can't change. But you want to know what you can change?" When I didn't answer fast enough, she continued. "You can change how you handle what happened around you."

Nancy took a deep breath. "You have two choices, Lex. You can let these things define you by continuing to believe you're cursed and you don't deserve happiness. Or you can look at it differently. You can live your life to the fullest in honor of those whose lives ended too young."

She held my gaze as if challenging me, and I guess she was.

"Which one is it going to be?"