Page 15

W e’ve all been gathered at the house waiting for the arrival of the limos and the hearse.

As the procession cars make their approach, my stomach feels like it’ll drop out of my body at any moment.

Deep down, a part of me hopes it was all a dream and that I will wake back up, fat and ugly. That isn’t the case, though.

For the first time, I realise that maybe it was a lack of confidence that held me back. That night with Morgan and Cai, nothing was mentioned about our looks; we just wanted the other. There’s a squeeze on my arm, and I look down to my left to see Morgan smiling at me.

“I’m glad you came,” I say, placing my hand on hers.

“It’s not weird me being here?” She asks, feeling a little uneasy.

“Maybe, but if I’m going to get through the day, I need someone.” I want to add my feelings for her, but this isn’t the time or the place.

She stands on her tiptoes, kissing my cheek, and whispers in my ear, “I care about you, too. I’m here for you today. Anything you need.”

How did I get so lucky?

Granted, we only met a few days ago, but there’s a strange connection that brought us together. I don’t respond verbally, instead, I kiss her on the lips as the cars pull up. The lead car comes to a stop, and every bit of sound dies.

A beautiful floral arrangement spells out ‘Son’ in front of the casket.

Someone needs to make everyone move. It’s going to be me to do it, I can feel it.

Making myself feel tall and strong, I take the lead and head to the second limo.

The drive was slow and long. It’s awful to think that, but I know that Tim would be annoyed at the speed.

He was a full-on personality; he lived in the moment and always wanted to keep moving forward.

This would piss him off. In a sick sort of way, I get satisfaction knowing this because, although we were close, he wasn’t always the best to me.

Then I remember where I am, and the feeling of guilt and sorrow overwhelms me. Was I a terrible friend?

It’s a wonderful service they held for him, so many people turned up to honour his memory.

The hardest part is when the coffin goes behind the curtain to commence the cremation.

After this, we are led to a small tombstone plaque that the parents had made, so there is something there for everyone else.

Is it bad that I can hear Tim enjoying the attention?

As we stand gathered around, I spot someone in the distance.

Bright white hair, I’d recognise that anywhere.

It was Cai. He’s keeping his distance. I try my best to get his attention without being disrespectful, but Cai turns and walks away.

Honestly, now I’m pissed off. We spent a night together after he ‘found me’ and then he vanished without a trace.

Here he is again doing the exact same thing.

Focusing on the words being spoken by various members of Tim’s family, the crowd of people is no longer crying but laughing at the stories.

This he would have wanted. To be the light of the party, creating laughter, and to have all the attention on him.

We don’t gather here much longer before we leave to celebrate his life at a local pub. I can sense that Morgan is uneasy with all the questions being thrown at her, so we make our leave.

If this day has taught me anything, it’s how quickly things can happen.

There’s no real way to know what each day can bring, and that time is fickle and fleeting.

Resolved to trust this connection between us, I decide that telling her the truth is the way forward for us.

We head back to my place; it’s nothing special, but it’ll do for this conversation.

After the kettle boils, I make us both a cup of tea before sitting opposite her.

God, she is so fucking sexy, and I don’t want to lose her, but I want to be honest.

“Morgan, I don’t know how to start this conversation, but there is something I need to tell you,” I say, looking down.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, lifting my face to meet hers.

“You won’t believe what I have to say…” I trail off.

“Kass, I’m not that kind of woman.”

Deciding to trust her and tell her everything, I tell my tale of Halloween hijinks with my friends; trying to find the witch, being fat and unappealing - I show her pictures.

To my surprise, she said I was still cute.

Can’t be sure, but it feels sincere. Explaining how I never felt wanted or desired, taking the curse felt worth it.

It was worth it, until that night. Trying to tell her the pain I felt from crossing that barrier, pulling on a life force I didn’t understand.

Tears begin to trickle down my face as I let my guilt free.

Now, I sit and watch her facial expressions change as she goes over the details with me again. Morgan hasn’t left. She hasn’t called me a liar. She’s still here, with me, in this room.

Suddenly, she stands up, almost knocking everything over as she paces up and down the room, muttering to herself quietly.

I get up and walk over to her, grabbing her arms gently and looking her in the eyes. “I know it’s a lot and seems like something a crazy person would say, but…”

“I believe you!”

Who is this amazing woman?

“You do? But why?” I say, trying to hide my smile.

“Because I made a deal with a witch, too! Except she went by Peronne, and I found her in France,” Morgan explains, with shame filling the words.

“What would you possibly need? Look at you! Perfection,” I say earnestly, cupping my hands to her cheeks.

“Power. I sought power to get revenge and not feel so weak. But I thought I was being scammed until now. I was promised power. Ability to inflict the pain I felt. But nothing has happened.”

How do I handle this? What can I even say?

“Did she say anything else?” I press a little further.

“With tragedy comes power.”

Shit. Well, that isn’t ominous at all.

“That night we first spent together. Why did you let me stay?”

“I can’t explain it. It was like…”

“You were being pulled to me.” We both say in unison.

Stepping closer to her, this wonderful woman who’s not judging me, I kiss her with all the passion I can muster. As things continue to get heated, images of Cai keep flickering throughout my mind. It can’t be a coincidence, right? Stopping our encounter, I start to twitch as I think.

“Do you think it’s possible that Cai also made a deal? It would make sense!”

“I think you might be right.” She agrees with me.

I tell her I saw him today and that he has to be nearby. We agree that we should go and find him. And this is exactly what we did, we left my home to find him. Many hours we searched but to no avail. I know somewhere in the future he will appear, and then we will get the answers we seek.