Page 14
I wake to the sound of running water in the bathroom. I see that neither Morgan nor Cai is still in bed. Walking to the bathroom, I knock on it gently. Morgan’s voice calls out.
“Is it okay if I come in?” I ask.
“Sure,” she replies.
Entering the room, steam floats all around, creating a fog-like atmosphere. It doesn’t take long to realise that she’s alone. I enter the shower and kiss her neck from behind. When she turns, it strikes me once again just how beautiful she is.
“Last night was…”
“Amazing!” She cuts me off with utter joy on her face.
We spend some time in the shower before we dry off.
Morgan explains that when she woke, Cai was gone, and our clothes were on the radiator to dry.
Thank God, that would have ruined everything if we had to wear wet clothes.
Exchanging contact details so we know that we won’t lose touch this time, I express to her that I want to see where this can go between us.
She feels the same way, too. We talk about Cai and how we hope to share him once again.
“Do you think we will see him again?” Morgan asks as we leave the hotel room.
“Something tells me that we will,” I say with confidence.
One day, I’ll tell her the reason for my trip up here.
Just not today. I want to enjoy the moment we had.
Right now, I need to be a decent friend and head home to be there for the ones I left behind.
Telling Morgan I came here to get away from the chaos of dealing with his death came easier than expected.
All of yesterday and this morning have been a great distraction, but that’s all it was, a distraction.
I need to deal with the fact that my friend has died, and so have some others.
Having to justify only being there for Talia and Tim’s family because I actually know them feels incredibly wrong.
Finally, I respond to the millions of texts from the group chat to say when I will arrive back.
This was met with various emotions from my friends.
Disembarking the train, I’m met by Talia.
Surprised that she’s the one to meet me.
I open my arms to hug her, but instead, I’m met with searing pain as she slaps me so hard my jaw aches.
I deserve that. People stare at me after this, and I ignore them, pulling Talia into a hug.
Stroking her hair as she breaks down again.
“How could you just disappear?” She sobs.
“I just wasn’t ready to deal with the fact… You know.”
“Tim’s dead. You can say it,” she snaps at me.
I don’t blame her for snapping. Regardless, we’re friends, and I want to be there for her.
In any way that I can, after all, I’m the one who took him away.
Not that she knows that. Thankfully. We arrive back at the family house that Tim lived at, and I’m greeted by his father, who shakes my hand, and his mother, who hugs me and breaks down.
I can’t do this.
This is too much.
“I know you and my son had a complicated history, but I’m glad you’re here,” his father says, holding his wife.
“What can I do to help?” I offer, hoping for a certain answer.
“Actually, there’s currently nothing we can do until the autopsy is over. But…”
Seeing his father trying to hold it together is incredibly difficult to watch.
“Anything. I’ll do anything.” I mean these words. It’s the least I can do.
Talia takes Tim’s mother inside, leaving me outside with just his father now.
He looks off into the distance, almost like he’s waiting for Tim to arrive and say it’s all a joke.
Honestly, it would be something Tim would do, but I know better.
This is the most I have spoken to the man in years, and I have no clue what to do.
Taking a chance, I place my hand on his shoulder.
He tries to stay strong, but tears fall anyway.
“On the day… Will…Will you carry him into the crematorium? I don’t think I will…” He starts to cry now and falls to his knees.
It’s not a weakness to cry, but this man has always been stoic to me. I idolised him once. Now, I see the real man, and I wish he had been more like this for Tim. Emotions were never his strong suit. Walking over, I kneel beside him and wrap my arms around him.
“Of course I’ll carry him.”
This might be the hardest thing I have to do, but I deserve it.