Page 35 of Cruel Revenge (Jacky Leon #12)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I stumbled onto my porch, not hearing anything but a sharp ring in my ears.

I gasped for air, holding my chest as the panic rose, my heart beating too fast. My vision was blurry as I gasped, trying to breathe, but it felt like nothing was reaching me.

There was no oxygen in the air for me anymore.

I fumbled into the grass, stumbling as I again tripped over my own feet.

This time, I fell to my knees, unable to stay up.

There on the ground, I screamed, unable to control the panic and horror of what fate Carey would have if we couldn’t help her. I sank my fingers into the earth, my earth, desperate for the security it normally gave me, but it offered nothing.

Someone tried to grab me off the ground, pulling me up. With a snarl, I whirled around and shoved whoever it was. Their grip wasn’t strong enough to hold me, and my blurry vision didn’t give me any idea of who it was.

Desperate for air, but I couldn’t smell anything. I had no idea who was there. No idea who was trying to talk to me. No idea where I was anymore.

Then the world turned upside down, and the shock forced me to think clearly for a moment. I felt something cool on my back, and Subira was right in front of me. Behind her, I could see the night sky.

“Breathe,” she ordered, her werecat eyes staring me down. “You have to breathe.”

I inhaled, and finally, oxygen hit my lungs, and my vision cleared further. My fingers twitched, and I felt grass and dirt, even some forest floor debris, a bit of leaves and twigs. Still my territory, the land feeling like it welcomed my touch.

I was on my back, flat on the ground, and Subira was above me. Not only above me. Her weight was heavy. She was on top of me. I tried to sit up, and with little effort, she pushed me back into the ground.

“Keep breathing,” she snapped.

I made a point of inhaling and exhaling for her, unable to look away from her narrowed eyes. Now my sense of smell was starting to register things again.

The first thing I caught was blood. It was a rather pungent, pointed smell, no matter where it was. It took an extra second to register that it was Zuri’s blood. That made my hands shake.

The second smell I caught was Subira’s fear. She leaned very close, her forehead nearly touching mine.

“If you ever forget yourself like that again, I’m going to do what I must to make sure you don’t hurt anyone.

It would destroy me to do it, but if one of my children needs to be put down, I am honorable enough to do it.

” Subira’s pained and truthful words were so quiet, only for me to hear.

Her hands moved from my chest to my cheeks.

“You are panicking, and that is reasonable. You’ve been through so much so quickly.

The world refuses to spare you even the smallest moment of rest. But you can’t forget yourself, Jacky. Out of everything, you cannot do that.”

I tried to nod.

“If you were human, the panic attack wouldn’t be a problem,” Hasan said, his voice closer than I expected.

“If you were more in control naturally as a werecat, it wouldn’t be a problem.

But you, Jacky, are dancing on a knife’s edge.

I said it earlier tonight, and I’ll say it again.

I do not like this. Nor do I like that it’s been going on for some time. ”

“Tell me Carey’s chances,” I said, keeping my eyes on Subira, who seemed surprised by my words, her eyes going a little wider, but that was all I could see. It took a second, but then I could smell the truth, that I was right. I had taken her off guard.

“I don’t?—”

“Tell me,” I repeated.

Hasan growled, but Subira suddenly sat up on my stomach, her hands moving back to my shoulders to keep me down, and smiled.

“Tell her, Hasan,” she encouraged.

With her not blocking everything I could see, I was able to see him standing to our left. Behind him were Niko and Davor. I couldn’t see Zuri, but I could still smell her.

Hasan rubbed the back of his neck, looking at his mate, then at me.

“If she doesn’t survive the Change, I would wonder if my Talent was broken. If the magic stopped working at all. She’s one of the most likely scents I’ve encountered. Up there with Niko.”

I remembered a conversation I had with a teenager once. Stacy. Her enthusiasm for the topic had been notable, sticking with me for all these years.

“Genetics,” I said, closing my eyes. “There are genetic markers that researchers have been trying to find. They aren’t fully accurate, but they are there. Stacy was interested in it.”

“Yes, I’ve followed the studies,” Hasan said, stepping closer. “Was Carey ever tested?”

“I don’t know, but probably not. Heath would have been against it because he wanted her to try for a normal human life.

He regretted Changing Richard, thought he ruined his son’s life.

Landon never had a choice, born as a werewolf, and look at how that life treated him.

” I sighed. “Not that being human was much easier for Carey.”

“He was trying his best,” Subira said, shrugging. “Correcting mistakes he saw with previous children by making new ones with the youngest. The curse of every parent. There’s actually no single right answer.”

That made a few people laugh. There were a lot of parents in the family. Niko, Dirk’s adoptive father. Zuri, who had a complicated, sad history with her late first son, and now a second little boy with Kushim. Hasan and Subira had many children, me included. And I had Carey.

Feeling slightly better, I tried to sit up, but Subira was immovable. I raised maybe a centimeter, only to return to the ground.

“We’re not done here. Someone has to forgive you.”

We waited as Zuri came closer. She was still bleeding, and I saw the damage I had done. When I had shoved her, my claws had left damage on her chest, near her shoulders, and her collarbone.

“I’m sorry,” I said truthfully. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her. Never. “Have you cleaned those? Want me to?”

“You’re stronger than I thought,” Zuri said, chuckling as she held out a hand. “But I’ve taken worse hits from scuffles with Jabari.”

There was a lie in there. A fear. I could smell it, but nothing on Zuri’s face gave away which part of it was the lie, or what she feared. Subira moved off me as I reached up to grab Zuri’s hand.

“Come here,” she whispered and pulled me into a hug, bone crushing and wonderful. There was something to be said for physical contact right then. “We’re going to get all of them back, Jacky. No matter what. You have to believe that, please.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“All forgiven, little sister,” she said, the truth in her scent. “Now, let’s work on where to go from here.”

“I have an idea.” Hasan stepped forward, speaking as he held a hand out to Subira to help her up. She was just sitting on the grass like it was normal. She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. He kissed her hand before releasing it and summoning all of us to look at him.

“Father, get on with it,” Zuri said as he took his time.

“I want you, Jacky, to take a break?—”

“But—”

“Listen to me. You’re not steady. You need to be. You’ve been through a lot, and we just made you rewatch it from the third person. That wasn’t easy for me to watch, so I can only imagine how you felt seeing it.”

I lowered my head. It had been terrible.

“Just take a break. A nap, a walk, go sit in her room, anything. Take a break, center yourself. We’ll handle things here.”

“Can I follow you around? Just listen so I know what’s happening?”

“If you can give yourself one full hour of not doing anything, then you can do whatever you want,” Hasan countered. “Do this for me. Trust us to be on top of things.”

I looked at Subira, who smiled.

“I have an idea,” she said. “Give me one hour with you.”

“Okay.”

“Perfect. Everyone else, let’s have a meeting and see where everything stands.” Hasan started walking toward my security building as Subira grabbed my hand and pulled me toward my house.

We entered, leaving everyone else to do the work that should have been mine. I should have been steady enough to help with finding my own daughter. Like Heath. He was keeping it together. It hurt that he had to withdraw as much as he had to do it, but he was holding himself together.

I was a wreck, and everyone knew it, and now I was forced to stay out of the way.

But as Subira forced me into my office, I couldn’t help but think.

“All the kids had their phones,” I said. “Has someone tried tracking those?”

“I’m not often told about the technological parts of these things. We can ask in an hour, but you know how smart everyone out there is.”

“So, that was probably tried,” I said, nodding sadly as I sat down at my desk. “So, why are we here?”

“I didn’t want you to be alone. This is your real refuge. This is your real place of power. You might sleep upstairs, but this is where you battle. This room is the most secure place for you in your territory. I can feel it. So, I brought you here, and I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Oh…” I leaned back in my seat and thought about that. I did everything from the office. I spoke with people, fought with them, and planned my next moves. My place of power.

And it was comforting to be in, able to see my trees out the large windows, even Subira finding the view relaxing.

“Tell me more about Carey,” Subira said softly.

“She’s the bravest girl I’ve ever met,” I started. “And smart. And passionate. Loving and protective and bold.”

“What’s the most surprising story you have about her?”

“The day I had to pick her up from her school because she broke an older girl’s nose,” I said, chuckling.

The chuckle died quickly as I remembered why.

“They would make fun of Carey for having a werewolf dad and brother. Howling, questions about humping…” I shook my head in disgust with the behavior.

“Carey got tired of it, tired of people disrespecting her family like that. A girl started one day, and she clocked them. Some varsity cheerleader with a potential for college scholarships or something.”

“Varsity cheerleader? I don’t know the meaning of those words, but I assume important?”

“Varsity is… the team that represents the school in a sport. It doesn’t matter. And you know what cheerleader means,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

“I do know that one,” she agreed, laughing softly. “And Carey punching this young woman was unexpected.”

“Very. Heath was pretty furious. When Carey gets in trouble, the human government comes asking questions about why.”

“Ah… she must have never done something like that before, then?”

“Not as far as I know,” I said, sighing as I wished I knew every little story about her now. When I had the time, I was going to force Heath to tell me every baby story, every little thing.

“I wonder if it was my fault,” I admitted.

“Your influence over Carey is notable,” Subira agreed, but then shook her head.

“But no, probably wasn’t entirely your influence, if at all.

Her father and brother can take the blame for that incident.

Look at how they fight for each other and for their own loved ones.

How Heath fought for you .” Subira turned around, leaning on the window as she looked at me.

“It’s how love has been modeled for her.

Not the only way, but an important one, a way that leaves an impact.

” Subira closed the distance between us, sitting on the edge of my desk.

“And it’s the same way you show your love.

By fighting for people, against those more powerful than you, and facing impossible odds.

If anything, Carey found herself a mother she can rely on, a mother she can trust to meet whatever challenge she faces beside her.

Just like she can trust her father and brother.

” She reached out and patted my thigh. “You have a wonderful daughter. I’m happy to know she takes so much after her parents. ”

I couldn’t stop the tears Subira summoned with those words. She reached out and, without judgment, wiped them away with her thumbs.

“Tell me more about her. Please,” Subira said, smiling.