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Chapter Thirty

JOSHUA

I’ve never been run over by a truck before, but I would assume this is what it feels like.

My entire body is aching and on fire, but the only thing I can think of is Skyla.

It’s a struggle to sit up.

My lungs feel like I’ve swallowed a bucket of charcoal.

I cough and shuffle against the pillows, glancing around the bright white room.

Tubes run from my arms to the machines beeping in the corner.

“Skyla?” I don’t sound like myself.

I don’t feel like myself either, and when I look down at my arms, they are covered in dozens of little cuts.

Zoe.

She cut into me with a knife over and over again, lifting me higher every few minutes before having them lower me again. She took her time until the world went black.

And then my avenging angel came.

“Skyla?” I toss back the blankets.

I have to find her. To know she’s all right. Make sure nothing like this ever happens to her again.

And I have to apologize to her.

I’m going to make this right.

The pain in my body is blinding as I sit upright, planting my feet on the floor and grabbing onto the bed rail.

I don’t know where she is, but I’m going to find her. I need to make sure she’s okay. Because she can’t be dead. She just can’t.

I didn’t tell you I’m sorry yet.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She walks into the room with a slight limp.

I have to blink several times to make sure it’s really her standing in front of me and not some delusion.

There are a couple of cuts on her cheek, and there are bruises on her arms and face. She’s got a thick white bandage wrapped around her thigh just beneath the hem of her shorts. Her long hair hangs loose and wild around her face.

I don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful.

“Skyla?”

“Yes.” She hurries across the room, putting her hands gingerly on my shoulders and easing me back into bed. “You need to get back to bed. You went through a lot.”

I laugh, but it turns into a fit of coughing. “You look like you’ve been through a lot, too.”

Skyla doesn’t smile as she reaches behind me and adjusts my pillows. “You need to get your rest. Whatever you were going to do can wait. Just get into bed and relax.”

“You need to relax, too.”

There’s a small smile at the corner of her mouth, but it doesn’t meet her eyes.

Instead, she grabs a glass of water from the bedside table and holds it to my lips.

I take a sip, watching her and the way she looks over me with endless concern.

“I’m okay,” I say as she pulls the glass away and sets it to the side.

“How are you really doing?” Her voice wavers as she looks down at me. “You almost died. We thought if the cuts didn’t kill you, the smoke inhalation might. You were hanging so high, and all the smoke was gathering up there before we could get you down. I was almost too late.”

She tries to take a step back, but I catch her hand and pull her closer.

I sit up in bed once more, giving her a stern look when she tries to urge me back into the pillows.

“Joshua, you need to rest. You shouldn’t be working yourself up like this. Okay?” She pushes against me again, a little more forcefully this time. “I need you to listen to the doctors and behave.”

“And I need you to stop worrying over me and what might have happened.”

“I’m not doing that.”

I would almost believe her except for the way her voice breaks and tears fill her eyes.

Without another word, I use my grip on her hand to tug her as close to the edge of the bed as possible. Once I can reach her, I haul her into the bed with me.

She tries to get out, but I hold her tight.

I need her right now, and I think she needs me just as much.

Finally, she gives in and puts her head on my shoulder. “I was scared I wouldn’t make it in time. There was so much traffic, and the clock was ticking, and then I walked in and saw the way she cut you, and I didn’t think that you were going to survive that either. It didn’t seem possible.”

I take her hand, kissing her fingertips, and place it over my heart. “Feel that? I’m right here, and I’m with you. I might feel like shit, but I’m here.”

She sniffles, looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen her. “I couldn’t kill her for you.”

“Good. Now we can hunt her down together.”

Skyla shakes her head. “No, Aiden gave the order to stand down. I told him that I would do whatever he wanted if it meant him saving you.”

I cup her face in my hands, wiping away the tears with my thumbs. “You don’t have to do shit all he says, all right? Besides, you were there saving me along with him, right? So, he didn’t do the saving by himself.”

“I let her get away either way. The choice came down between her and you, and I couldn’t choose her. I couldn’t go after her and kill her when I knew that you were hanging there, and you might die if I didn’t help you.”

“Thank you for choosing me. Please, don’t be upset about that.”

Guilt gnaws at me as I look down at her.

My stomach ties itself into a tight knot, and a sour taste fills my mouth.

I know that she and her family have spent too long hunting down the Rinaldos, and with Zoe in the wind, their war isn’t going to come to an end any sooner.

They’re going to have to keep hunting them down, and there’s no telling how many more people they’re going to lose in the process.

This is all my fault.

If I hadn’t walked out on Skyla, if I had stayed to talk, maybe things would be different right now.

“And I’m sorry.” I press my lips to her temples, hating the way her body shakes against mine. “I’m so sorry. I wish things would’ve been different.”

She swallows hard and starts to pull herself together. “There was a choice to make, and I made my choice.”

The question on the tip of my tongue is bitter.

I don’t want to voice it or put my fears into words. I don’t want to know what she really thinks about what happened, but there’s a part of me that has to know.

“Do you regret that choice?” I look down at her as her gaze flickers to mine.

My heart threatens to beat right out of my chest. Blood rushes in my ears and all the pain fades away.

The only thing that exists right now is me and her. Nothing else in the world matters.

I just need to know that we’re going to be okay. I need to know that at the end of the day, I’m still going to have her. That I haven’t fucked everything up.

After having her for as long as I have, there’s no way that I can go back to living without her.

I don’t exist without her.

When she continues to stare at me, I think she might not have heard me. Or maybe she doesn’t want to tell me the truth.

It could be any number of things, but all I know is that this moment right now feels worse than hanging from the chains.

Clearing my throat, I stare deeper into her eyes, needing to see the truth there. “Sky, do you regret saving me?”

She lifts her head, her gaze burning mine, and cups my face in her hands. “I would choose you a thousand times over.”

A breath of relief flows through me.

Her lips brush against mine in the softest kiss, like she’s terrified of hurting me. Or maybe waiting for me to send her away again.

She shouldn’t be afraid to touch me.

I’ve been an asshole, but it will never happen again.

I won’t hurt her. Not again. Ever.

And she needs to know that I’m never letting her go.

Her voice is soft and warm as she pulls back and looks up at me. “This is the problem with loving you.”

My heart races as butterflies explode in my stomach.

She loves me… She just said she loves me.

Will I scare her if I make a big deal of it?

Probably. Better play it cool.

“What’s that?”

“You make me weak and strong at the same time, and I don’t know which I like more.” She runs her fingers along the side of my face. “You see me in a way that nobody else ever has, and it scares me at times because I don’t think anyone else is ever going to see me that way again.”

“I’ve always seen you.” I pull her into my lap, careful not to jostle her leg, ignoring the pain that rips through my body.

Right now, I need to hold her more than I need anything else.

“Look, I know you want this to be over. But despite all the shit that’s gone on between us, I can’t walk away from you.

I don’t want to. I would rather spend every single day with you, hunting our enemies to the ends of the earth, than spend a single second without you again.

” She blinks the tears from her eyes. “I never thought that I would fall for you the way I have, but if there’s one thing that this entire experience has taught me, it’s that I love you endlessly. ”

I’ve never felt this… happiness? Is that what this is?

I stare at her for a moment before cupping the back of her head and pulling her in for a kiss.

Our lips mold together like we were made for each other.

I lose myself in her, pouring everything I feel and don’t know how to say into the kiss.

We press together, lips moving, tongues tangling until we’re both out of breath.

And when she pulls back and looks down at me with nothing but love shining in her eyes, I fall harder.

“I’m not leaving you. Ever.” I trace my fingers over her jaw and down the side of her neck, feeling her pulse and making sure that she’s right there, her heart still beating, her blood still pumping through her veins.

“I don’t know when I started falling for you.

Don’t know when I started loving you, but I do. So much. And I’m never going to stop.”

Skyla smiles and kisses me again. “How are you really feeling?”

“Like hell.” I kiss the corner of her mouth. “Grady is dead. Zoe killed him. She’s taking over his operation, which means that everything I’ve worked for is going up in flames.”

Skyla shifts off my lap to sit beside me, her fingers linking with mine. “We’re going to figure that out together. We can rebuild, bigger and better than before.”

I chuckle and lift her hand to my mouth, kissing the back of it. “I don’t know how we’re going to do that, but I appreciate your faith.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. My family might be pissed at us right now, but they’re still our family, and they’re still going to fight like hell to make sure that we succeed.”

I make a noise in the back of my throat, gaze dropping to her leg. “Are you okay?”

“A stab wound. Nothing worse than anything Aiden would’ve given me when we were kids.” She lies back down again and leans her head on my shoulder, looking down at our joined hands, her ring tattoo and mine side by side.

I tap the ink on her finger. “This means you’re mine, just as much as mine means I’m yours. As far as I’m concerned, you are my wife, you hear me?”

She laughs. “Well, that’s good. While you’ve been napping in the hospital, I was busy filing our marriage certificate with the state.”

God, she’s perfect.

“How long have I been out?”

“Long enough for me to forge your signature and take the paperwork to city hall.” She smirks, giving me that mischievous look I’ve grown to love so much.

“I love you.” I brush my lips over hers. “Wife.”

“Husband.” Her eyes flutter shut, and she kisses me again. “I love you, too.”

And as I lose myself in her again, I know that there’s nothing else I need right now.

We can figure out everything else that’s going to come in the morning, trying to make sense of it all.

For the rest of the day, I’m going to spend time in this hospital bed with Skyla, enjoying the fact that I’m alive.