Page 37

Chapter Twenty-Seven

SKYLA

“We need to end this.” Joshua walks into the apartment well after midnight.

My heart beats faster, blood rushing in my ears. “What are you talking about?”

I close my book and set it to the side, getting up and striding across the room to meet him.

His eyebrows are knit close together, and the lines at the corners of his mouth are deep.

He looks like he’s hovering on the verge of a breakdown.

What the hell happened with Grady?

As I reach up to touch his cheek, he grabs my hand.

He kisses the palm before dropping it with a sad smile.

There’s something at war in his mind right now. I can see it in his eyes and in the way he doesn’t quite focus on me, like he’s trying to see through me. Like it might be easier to tell me whatever it is he has to say if he doesn’t have to look at me while he’s saying the words.

I take his chin in my hand, forcing him to look down at me, to meet my eyes. “What happened?”

“We’re going to stop pretending to be married. Stop the relationship, stop living together, just stop all the shit.” His voice is raspy, but his tone is stern.

There’s no room for argument. But not arguing has never been my style.

“You didn’t answer my question.” I press my fingers into his jaw, pulling him closer to me. “What happened when you were meeting with Grady? Why are you trying to be a pussy and back out of this now?”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “Did you just call me a pussy?”

“What else would you like me to call you?” I let go of his face, taking a step back from this. “You’re trying to run away, but what I don’t understand is why. So, if you tell me what’s leading you to this dumbass decision, then I might be able to help.”

“I don’t think there’s any helping for it.”

“Then the problem is you’re scared.” I can’t keep the disgust out of my voice. Not after everything we’ve been through.

It may not amount to much, but he’s the first person outside of my family that I’ve allowed to get close to me since Logan.

I’ve let him into the worst parts of my life, the ones I do my best to hide.

And now he’s here, standing in front of me and trying to throw it back in my face without so much as a reason.

Well, I’m not going to let him.

Joshua sighs. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Sky. It’s best that this ends now. We always knew that it wasn’t going to be forever, but it seems like our time has been cut shorter than we thought it would be.”

I scoff and spin away from him, yanking open one of the drawers I know he keeps a gun in. Smirking, I pull out the gun and check the magazine before pointing it at him.

“All right, why don’t we try this again? You tell me what the fuck happened with Grady, and I don’t put a bullet through your cock.”

He gives a bitter laugh. “You wouldn’t do that. You like it too much.”

Aiming at the tip of his dick, at least where I think it is right now, I shrug. “If we’re ending things, it doesn’t matter if I like it, does it? Besides, it could be shorter, and I would probably like it just as much.”

He glares at me, stalking forward and ripping the gun from my hand. “We’re not playing this game.”

“And what game is that?” I ask as he shoves the gun back into the drawer.

“The one where you try and intimidate me with your crazy.” He spins and grabs me by the hem of the oversized shirt I’m wearing, pulling me to him. “I happen to like your crazy. It makes me hard as fuck. So, try again, Sky.”

“Then I’ll go kill Grady since I know he’s at the center of this. You might not be willing to tell me what he did, but I have other ways of finding out.”

“You’re not going after him either.” Joshua spins, trapping me between his body and the wall. “You’re going to stay right here, and I’m going to be the one leaving.”

“Bullshit.”

“It isn’t.” He swallows hard, looking down at me with a million different emotions flickering across his face. “Please, don’t fight me on this.”

“I’m going to.” I press closer to him, hands skimming up his chest and fisting in his shirt, torn between pulling him closer and shoving him away. “You may not want to fight the bastard, but I’m more than happy to kill him. One less problem in our lives, and then I can go and deal with Zoe.”

Joshua sighs, his forehead pressing against mine. “You’re not going to do that. I’m not going to let you.”

“You don’t get to let me.”

“Yes, I do.”

Every inch of his body presses against mine, keeping me trapped.

One of his hands wraps around my throat, his fingers applying pressure to the side.

I press my thighs closer together, my arousal already coating my inner thighs.

When he’s like this, I think I would do anything to get him stripped down and fucking me like there’s no tomorrow.

He’s the only person that controls me. The one I’ll ever submit to.

Joshua’s thumb brushes against my jaw. “I’m not playing with you, and this certainly isn’t foreplay, so don’t even start with me.”

I slide one hand between us, cupping his hard cock. “Are you sure? It could be. We could fuck, and then while you’re lying in bed, smoking a joint that you rolled on my ass, I’m going to go out and slaughter the bastard who thinks he can tell us what to do.”

He leans away from me. “I told you that this isn’t foreplay.”

“Sure.” I shift to the side, but he keeps me pinned in place. “And you’re not pinning me to the wall to try and get your rocks off before walking out of here. Coward.”

His hand drops, and he spins, stalking to the other side of the room, putting several feet of distance between us. “Believe it or not, this is the best thing for both of us right now.”

“Yeah, okay.” I roll my eyes, pushing off the wall and stalking over to him. “In what world?”

“Grady Granville is a dangerous man. He’s the kind who would kill you without a second thought.”

“And you don’t need him.”

“He brings all of my drugs into the country.” Joshua reaches for a bottle of whiskey on the shelf, opening it up and snagging a glass. He doles out a hefty pour before tossing it back. “I can’t just ignore that, Skyla. Even if I want to.”

“You could, though.” I stop a few feet from him, knowing that if I draw any closer I’m going to let go of some of the anger I’m trying to hold onto.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“You could. You have ships that are bringing people back and forth across countries. I’m assuming there are planes and trains dedicated to this too. Which means that you do have the power to cut him out if you’re willing to make a couple cartel connections.”

Joshua grits his teeth and glares at me. “You make it sound so easy, but you don’t know what it’s like.”

“Sure, I don’t know what running an entire drug operation is like. But I do know how to kill people. I know how to cut them out of business dealings and make connections. There’s a reason I run all the money laundering.”

He sighs and pours another glass. “You still don’t get it.”

“I get that you’re capable of so much more than you’re willing to give yourself credit for, but for whatever reason, you’re hellbent on taking the easy way out.”

He whirls around, throwing the glass against the wall, watching it shatter into a million little pieces. “I’m trying to keep you alive!”

“I can take care of myself!”

“Unlikely.” His chest heaves as he faces me. “You don’t know what this man is capable of. You think you do because you’ve dealt with men like him, but at the end of the day, you don’t have the slightest idea.”

“So, that’s it, then? Because you think I don’t know what I would be getting into, you’re not willing to deal with any of this? You would rather tuck your tail between your legs and pretend that leaving is the best option when in reality, it’s the cowardly option.”

“I’m not going to keep doing this with you.”

“Great.” I look out the window at the city glowing down below.

When I glance back at him, there’s a heavy lump in my throat that makes breathing hard. “I thought you were different.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His shoulders slump as he makes his way back to the front door.

“I thought you were going to be the one person who saw me and decided that I was worth all the bullshit and pain. Worth sticking around for even when things got difficult. But look at you now.”

He stiffens, standing tall, though he doesn’t turn around. “Skyla.”

“Save it.” I rake a hand through my hair, watching as his steps slow. “You want to go, then go. I’m not going to stop you.”

He reaches for the doorknob. “You can stay here. I’m going to step away and take a breather, and then maybe we can talk about this more.”

“If talking about this more means you’re going to come back and drag out how much of a coward you are, then don’t bother. I’m not going to be here.”

The only thing I’m met with is the sound of the door shutting behind him.

A strangled sob rips out of me as I sink to the ground, but the tears don’t come.

They sting, but it’s as if my body knows that crying isn’t going to get us anywhere we need to go.

I have to figure out what to do next.

Pick up the broken pieces of my life yet again and move on with my life.

Something.

I have to do something, because if I keep sitting here, all I’m going to be able to think about is the way my life is falling apart yet again.

I should’ve stayed in Vermont.

After taking another thirty seconds to feel sorry for myself, I get up and send Kalani a message.

It’s time to start picking up the pieces.

Kalani shoves my lingerie into a box. “I don’t think you have to make this decision right now. The two of you had a fight, but that doesn’t mean it’s over, does it?”

“He ended things and left.” I clear my throat, stuffing my laptop and tablet into my tote. “Trust me, it’s over.”

“I think the two of you need to talk when both of you are calm.”

“Not going to happen.” I tie my hair back from my face, bending to pull out my stack of books sitting on the bottom shelf of the nightstand.

Kalani rolls her eyes and takes the books from me, setting them to the side. “You don’t have to be so stubborn about this. It’s okay to be upset and take some time to grieve.”

“Why would I be grieving?” With my heart shattering, I stand up with my hands on my hips and look at her. “You already heard that the marriage was fake. I know my family is talking to anyone who will listen about it since fucking forbid we keep something in the family for once.”

“All right, so I know that the marriage was fake, but I don’t think the feelings were.”

“You should, since they were.”

At least on his side. It’s crystal clear now that he never really felt anything for me.

I snag the books back and stick them in one of the empty boxes. “We faked the entire thing, and now it’s come to an end.”

“No, now you’re shutting down to try and protect your heart because you actually care about him.”

God, so much.

“Nope.”

I toss a couple of notebooks into the box, too, before sealing it shut.

She sighs and grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at her. “It’s okay to be upset about this.”

“I’m not upset. I’m moving on with my life because the agreement has come to an end. That’s all there is to this.”

All lies, but I can’t let myself feel, let myself break. I have no one I can count on but myself.

I’m about to shake her off when my phone beeps in my pocket.

Zoe: I got your boytoy.