Page 97 of Cruel Pleasures

How did it affect my life if she wanted to throw hers away for a frivolous cause?

The girl doesn’t even realize the friend she’s looking for is never coming back…

It didn’t matter to me then and it shouldn’t matter to me now.

Despite how far removed I consider myself from most human experiences, this happens to be an exception—I’m not far removed enough to be so indifferent anymore. I’ve come to watch over Imani in a way that has left me feeling some sense of… protectiveness over her.

Possessiveness similar to what Hurst seems to be experiencing.

I can’t just turn my back and walk away though I’ve done so dozens of times.

Every time since what happened with Asami.

I failed then and vowed I’d never let myself care enough for it to happen a second time. For my failure to reflect in the loss of something meaningful. If I had been more vigilant, she would still be alive today.

Easing closer to Imani’s bed, my gaze slowly tracks over the outline of her body. She’s half covered by the duvet, though her curves can’t be disguised. Her face still, her ample chest rising and falling, she looks more at peace than I’ve ever seen her.

What is she dreaming about?

What is on her mind?

Is she still upset from the argument earlier? Does she feel a sense of betrayal at the Hostess’s revelation about Hurst and me?

She’d peered over at us as if we’d wounded her. As though she somehow expected better of two toxic men who had done nothing but antagonize her from the moment she turned up on this isle. Yet it seemed like she had expected more, like she had thought we’d formed some kind of…

I shake my head at the rest of that thought.

Human connection is not something I can allow. Even if I will watch over her and possibly help her survive.

I retreat into the shadows to stand guard. I become one with the darkness until there is no difference between the two of us. My post where I’ll remain into the early morning like I’ve done the previous nights.

Imani’s gentle breaths continue filling the silent, dark room. I take in each one, aware that I’ve let myself become as obsessed as I have—and I won’t be quitting any time soon.

But then her lullaby-like breathing changes and I’m suddenly aware of a pair of dreamy eyes blinking at me in the dark.

“Ryu?” she murmurs.

I freeze, uncertain how to even respond. A second later, I discover I don’t need to.

She yawns, her voice hoarse from lack of use these past couple hours. “Thank you.”

Then she nestles deeper into the duvet and goes back to dreaming.

23. Ryu

Symptoms - Moncrieff

“Why?” Imani asks the first moment she sees me the next morning.

I’m sitting on the bed of rocks on Hurst’s private beach. The snow from last night has melted into the sand, creating a Frankenstein mix of grainy, icy mush. Enough of a deterrent for most guests from the Midnight Society.

Except Imani, who has marched across the lumpy terrain just to pester me.

It’s only been a few hours since I last saw her. I remained in her bedroom for most of the night. She dozed away like she was safe and not under the roof of a homicidal woman whose grasp on reality was slipping.

…because you were there to watch over her.

A scowl clenches onto my face without the self-awareness to recognize it has. I only notice seconds later when I peer out at the grayish blue waters and realize my brow’s furrowed and jaw’s tight. I relax both and scold myself for being so affected by her presence.