Page 146 of Cruel Pleasures

“Imani. Imani. Imani!”

My left headphone is ripped away from my ear as DJ abruptly appears at my side. His brow furrows as the rest of his face twists tighter. His fuse has been running short for days and since I’m the only employee on shift, I’m his latest target.

“Did you hear what I was saying?”

“Does it look like I did?” I snap.

He might be irritated, but I can match him times ten. I’ve never been one to let him boss me around, shop owner or not. I’ll quit so fast and leave his ass high and dry, and he knows it too. The second I arch a brow and stand my ground, he’s relenting, even if only slightly.

“I was telling you to stop stocking the new freight. I need you to work the register.”

“Nobody’s buying anything right now.”

“What have I said about needing someone to be ready and greet customers?”

“You’re right,” I say, tossing the bottle of flavored lube in my hand back into the opened box on the floor. “What was I thinking? I need to welcome everyone into our wholesome little shop and then let them know we have a two for one special on butt plugs.”

“Imani,” he hums my name like it’s a song. “Check the attitude.”

“You hired me.”

“And I can just as easily fire you.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.”

Our tense standoff ends on that note, with me calling his bluff. He eventually retreats to his office, grumbling under his breath about lack of respect from his employees.

I don’t give a damn. I’m in no mood to deal with anyone. Much less DJ and his micromanaging antics.

Truth be told, I’ve been thinking more and more about quitting my job at Strictly Pleasures. In recent months, I’ve realized I’ve outgrown what was once a tolerable job with a steady paycheck.

It started when I lost Lyra, but became undeniable the moment I returned from…

I can’t even finish the thought. Shaking my head, I sigh and stare out the shop window. The streets are bustling this time of afternoon. Easton’s weather has finally warmed up as we’ve tiptoed into the spring season. The sun’s out longer and the air’s warmer to the point you almost don’t need a sweater anymore.

Come summer, the city will be alive in a way it never is during the cooler months.

The city will go on thriving like none of it ever happened.

But I know. Even if I’m the only one.

It follows me everywhere I go, weighing me down, reminding me how hollowed out I’ve become. The feeling presses down on my chest, never letting up. I’m made to remember every waking moment ’til it feels I can barely move.

Soon I won’t even be able to breathe.

After my shift, I leave the store and walk down several busy blocks to the nearest subway station. Everybody passing me by feels so out of reach.

It’s like I’m not really among them. I’m invisible. On my own in a way that’s begun to feel disquieting.

Easton has a population of just over four million. Yet I’ve never been more alone.

Except for the dark shadow that follows me everywhere.

That’s always watching. That’s always haunting me.

There’s no escaping it no matter how hard I’ve tried…

Emerald and the others are cooped up in the living room when I make it home. They’ve got a movie playing and a game of spades on the table. I flit by, rushing up the steps even to calls to join them. I make it to my room before Emerald catches up.