Page 6 of Cruel Alpha Beast (Roseville Alphas #1)

He said what ?

I don’t think my mouth has completely closed since Sawyer first said that he was forbidding Shea and me from leaving. But now that he’s mentioned marriage, I don’t know if my lips will ever touch again.

“This is crazy,” I breathe. I rise from my seat at the table and reach out toward Shea. “Come on, baby, we’re leaving. Say goodbye to Uncle Greg.”

But my brother holds fast to her, all of the color drained from his face. “Lacey, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Well, I’m Shea’s mother, and I think it’s a great idea,” I say.

“Lacey, think about it,” Greg adds.

I look down at the table, sucking my cheeks in.

Sawyer was right; technically, I am still a member of this pack, but I don’t belong.

I’m not one of them. I never have been. I’ve only known cruelty and mockery.

I can’t allow my daughter to grow up in this, even with Uncle Greg and me to look out for her.

Sawyer’s eyes burn into mine. “You know what happens if you defy my orders,” he says in a low, threatening tone. “At best, you’ll be exiled. Never to speak to your brother again. At worst—”

“I’ll be punished,” I fill in for him. “I remember.”

Twenty-three years' worth of hatred fills my veins as I glare back at Sawyer. Despite any feelings I had toward him in the past, I can and will never forget how awful he was to me. If I take Shea and run back to the woods, then I’ll never have to see him ever again.

He will be dead to me, once and for all.

But then again, so will Greg. My brother, my rock in times of uncertainty, will be nothing more than just a happy memory.

If I leave, I’ll never see my only other living family member again.

If anything happens to him, no one will reach out to me to let me know.

I’ll have my daughter and my freedom, but I won’t have my brother.

I duck my head and look back at Greg. Shea is still in his arms, watching everything happening, but hopefully not understanding how dire these circumstances are. I offer her a smile, but then I realize that she’s not even staring at me. Her hazel eyes are fixed on the man she inherited them from.

In one fluid motion, Shea slithers out from under Greg’s arms. Still processing everything, he doesn’t fight this. Shea walks around the table until she comes to stand in front of Sawyer.

The man towers over me as an adult, but he looks like an actual giant compared to Shea. His eyes soften as they drift down to meet hers. He sits down on one knee, though still gargantuan, across from the four-year-old.

“Are you my daddy?” she asks bravely.

Sawyer traces every detail of her face with his eyes before nodding his head. “I am.”

Shea’s eyes brighten, her lips spreading into the widest smile I’ve ever seen from her. She looks at me, expecting me to be on her level of excitement, as if her father were a toy of hers I misplaced five years ago. I force a smile and nod back at her.

“Can you pick me up?” Shea asks Sawyer.

Surprised, his face goes blank for a moment, then he shrugs his broad shoulders and grabs her arm, lifting her as he stands back up straight. Shea throws her arms around his neck and gives him a big hug.

It breaks my heart to see how happy she is knowing she has a father.

I only wish that he were a man I could stand to be around.

I catch Sawyer’s eye and see that he is clearly moved by the situation as well.

When he holds her, it’s like he’s holding the most precious substance on earth.

Still, I can’t help but catch his eye and grit my teeth.

“You may be her father,” I say quietly, “but you are not her dad.”

***

I sit in my old bedroom in the house that our parents once raised us in.

Greg had told me the first time I called him after fleeing that he was keeping it ready for me should I ever want to come home.

But these four walls aren’t my home anymore.

Neither are these pale pink sheets nor the old stuffed animals Shea is currently playing with.

Greg is the closest thing to home I have here, but not this house.

I lean over my knees and hold my head in my hands, wishing that I had just waited for Greg to find his phone and plug it in. I could have called him and told him about my visions. That way, Sawyer would never see me, nor would he be able to force me into whatever this marriage is.

It can’t be anything more than just a power play. I mean, it has to be. There’s no way he has any real feelings for me. If he did, he wouldn’t have spent his whole life pushing me away.

He had one chance to be with me, and he squandered it immediately.

Soon, there’s a knock on the door. I stand up from the bed, wondering if I should just grab Shea and book it past whoever’s on the other side. Greg knows I love him. It could be enough to know that for the rest of his life, couldn’t it?

But instead of grabbing Shea, I take a deep breath and cross the bedroom floor. I open the door and find my beloved brother on the other side. His mouth is battling with itself to either smile or frown. In his hands is a white dress and a veil, both dangling from the same hanger.

“For the wedding,” he says hoarsely.

At that very moment, I burst into tears. My shoulders quake, and my breath hitches. I don’t even care that this is happening in front of Shea. I can’t keep it in any longer.

“I don’t want to do this,” I warble toward my brother.

“I know,” Greg replies, holding me close. “But you know how it is. Sawyer’s word is bond.”

I pull back, wiping my tears. “I understand,” I say as I compose myself. I turn over toward Shea, who hasn’t even noticed that I’m upset at all. I give her my best smile and tell her, “I need you to go with Uncle Greg for a minute, babe.”

Shea takes one of the stuffed animals with her—my favorite, a faded black penguin—and steps between my brother and me. I hesitate before taking the dress and the veil from Greg, eventually shutting the bedroom door, and sitting alone with the prospect of my future.

***

The dress is simple, plain, a far cry from the wedding gown of my dreams. The hem falls to my knees, as does the lacy veil over my face. Greg is dressed in a nice suit, his elbow hooked onto mine as he takes me to the altar that was quickly set up in the middle of town.

There’s hardly anyone around as he escorts me through the streets.

Shea’s hand is firmly attached to mine, and she walks so closely that she keeps stepping on the ballet flats I’ve crammed my feet into.

At the altar stands Sawyer, looking irritatingly dashing in his own suit.

Under the altar is Lucas, Sawyer’s father, and the presiding alpha before I left.

As I get closer, I see Lucas eyeing me warily. He turns toward his son, and in a volume I can just barely hear, he asks Sawyer a question.

“I trust you, son, but have you really thought this through?”

“Yes,” Sawyer replies curtly.

Greg drops me off across from Sawyer at the altar, giving me a kiss on the forehead through the veil. He comes around and takes Shea from me, and soon, all I can see is the vague shape of Sawyer staring back at me.

“We stand here tonight, with the moon as our guide,” Lucas says, “to unite Sawyer and Lacey in the bonds of marriage. Sawyer, do you vow to protect Lacey for the rest of your life?”

“I do,” Sawyer replies.

“And Lacey, do you vow to stay faithful to Sawyer so long as you shall live?”

I clear my throat, grimacing behind the veil. “I do.”

“Sawyer, please unveil your bride,” Lucas prompts.

Sawyer reaches forward and pulls the lace over my head, letting it fall over my shoulders. He stares down at me intensely, his eyes shining in the moonlight. Not dissimilar to how he looked at me the night we made Shea.

“With a kiss, you two will become alpha and wife, destined to rule over this pack,” Lucas continues. “Sawyer, if your intentions are true…”

Sawyer nods at his father, then looks back at me. He reaches down to grab my shoulders, then leans forward. He smells amazing, and when I close my eyes, it makes it that much easier to meet his face with my own.

The kiss is short, but soft. It was not as passionate as the first one we shared by the lake. Though still much better than the harsh peck I was anticipating.

“I pronounce you both husband and wife,” Lucas concludes.

My eyes open, and I see that Sawyer is still watching me with that intense look. A muscle in his jaw twitches before he turns away. The same way he always used to, only now I’ve learned it means nothing.

There’s a pang in my heart as I realize that right now, I have achieved the loftiest goal of my childhood.

I stood here under an altar, with Sawyer across from me.

I am now married to the man I once loved more than anything.

And I am the mother of his child, though that wasn’t supposed to happen until much later.

My heart aches, knowing this didn’t go quite to plan. I never thought I would be forced to marry him, nor did I think this marriage would be his idea and not mine.

I want to cry, but I hold the tears back.

“Lacey,” Sawyer murmurs before I can turn to find Greg and my daughter. “Now that we’re married, you and Shea will be coming to live with me. But for the night, it will just be the two of us because…”

“You’re expected to consummate,” Lucas cuts in. “To make the bond official .”

My heart sinks deeper than it ever has before. I don’t even want to look at my husband right now. How can I possibly mate with him tonight?

Lucas steps away from the altar, leaving Sawyer and me alone. I whip my head around and see that Greg is already leading Shea away from the ceremony. Just before I can call out to him, Sawyer takes my chin in his hand and turns my head to look back at him.

“I have no intentions of consummating tonight,” he says under his breath. “Not unless you think you’re ready to.”

What feels like a thousand pounds lifts from my shoulders, and I can breathe again. “No.”

“I figured as much.” Sawyer nods, his eyes slightly downcast, before he continues speaking. “Still, we need to give the impression that we have to everyone, especially my father.”

“Okay,” I whisper raggedly.

“Now, come on, I’ll take you home,” he says, offering me a hand. “Jasper and Ellis have already taken your things to my— our —house.”

I stare down at his hand. The last thing I want to do is take it, but Lucas is eyeing us from afar, so I slip my fingers between Sawyer’s and follow him through town. We soon approach the largest house in the area, and Sawyer leads me up the porch steps.

In my childhood dreams, this was meant to be the happiest moment of my life. I would stare at Sawyer, unable to stop myself from crying as he led me into our home. I hate to disappoint my younger self because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

This isn’t what I wanted for myself. But at least I can rest easily tonight, knowing he won’t force me to do anything I don’t want to do.