Page 5 of Cruel Alpha Beast (Roseville Alphas #1)

It’s been over an hour since I’ve laid eyes on Lacey, and yet I can’t stop thinking about her.

The way her eyes shone in the ceiling’s light, the dangerous curves of her body, the look of confidence on her face.

She’s changed since I last saw her. I can only imagine what she’s been through since she left me by the lake’s edge so many years ago.

Heaving a deep sigh, I try to shake the woman out of my head, if only for a moment.

As alpha, I have to make sure that this potluck goes well tonight.

Jasper, Ellis, Greg, and I schemed for several days, trying to figure out how to restore some community values and some level of morale back into our communities.

This dinner was the best thing we could come up with.

The mess hall is full of people from all three towns in the valley. The vast majority are shifters, while a scant few are open-minded humans who aren’t afraid to live amongst wolves. All are welcome here, my father told me. But if that were true, then why were we all so awful to Lacey?

There she is in my head again. I can’t get her out. I’ve gone so many years without seeing her, but now, every time I close my eyes, there she is, haunting me.

As more of my people come inside the mess hall, bearing food, the hungrier I feel.

Spices and herbs rise from their slow-cooker pots and glass dishes to mingle over my head.

I’m starving, but my father told me long ago that I should be the last to eat when I become alpha.

Making sure my people are fed is the most important thing to me, above all else.

I try to distract myself by setting up extra tables and bringing out chairs, but neither the delicious food nor the beautiful woman from my past drifts too far from my mind.

The doors to the mess hall open, and I’m suddenly drawn to look toward them.

My mouth waters as I watch Lacey step through, bearing a large veggie tray, just as Greg promised.

The man himself, my lifelong best friend, stands behind her, carrying that little girl on his shoulders.

She giggles loudly, grasping onto his mop of hair to stay steady, even though we all know Greg would never let her fall.

All this time, I had no idea he was an uncle.

I always thought we were the type of friends who told each other everything, but he kept this a secret from me for so long.

I can’t even be mad about it, though, because the smile returning to his face is a welcome one.

I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.

Lacey glances up at her daughter, smiling herself, in a way I genuinely don’t think I ever saw.

Looking back, she was never happy living in this valley, and I can’t blame her.

But if everyone saw just how gorgeous she is with that gleam in her eye or the dimples on her cheeks, maybe people would have been a lot kinder to her.

The little girl says something to her mother that I can’t hear.

Lacey looks up at her and replies in what I can only imagine is a warm, loving tone.

This moves me more than I thought it would.

Maybe it’s because Lacey and Greg lost their mother and father when they were young, and so she’s making up for all she’s lost.

But what I’m finding even more confusing is, just who is the girl’s father?

Immediately, I’m brought back to the night I took her to the lake’s edge, where she called me out for staring at her.

I was the cruelest I’ve ever been to her.

I called her names. I pushed her away. But even my best defenses couldn’t stop me from pulling her back, feeling her lips against mine, sinking into her warmth like I had wanted to do for so long.

We mated.

I was her first, but perhaps not only. She had gotten the wrong idea and assumed that this meant we were going to be together for the long haul. I’ve always felt she was in love with me, and based on how she ran away crying, never to be seen again until literally hours ago, I was right.

I tossed her away like trash. Made her think that I could never and would never love her. I was an asshole—cocky and immature.

But what I couldn’t admit to her that night by the lake was that I had feelings for her too.

They started when we were young, and Lacey used to follow Greg and me around.

I was mean to her, like little boys are to the girls they have crushes on.

I didn’t know how to express my feelings, nor did I want to learn how, and so, I was awful to her.

Eventually, it all came out that she was unable to turn into a wolf, despite coming from a long, ancient line of shifters.

There was no coming back from that. Her fate as a pariah was sealed.

Everyone, even the adults in our community, looked down upon her. She was different. Weird. And once her parents had died, she only had Greg to support her.

I could have been there for her all along. But instead, I worried about what others thought of me, so I masked my feelings for her by upping my cruelty. Still, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her at all.

My thoughts are interrupted by the visual of a waving hand in the distance.

I turn slightly toward the right and see my father, with his hand in the air, a giant tank of water under his other arm.

He smiles proudly at me, just as he always does, deepening the wrinkles at the corners of his hazel eyes.

His graying hair is tied at the back of his head in a messy knot, but he looks almost the same as when I was younger.

Most of my memories involving my dad were of him reminding me of my destiny.

He’d tell me every day that I was destined to rule this pack, and that I’d have heaps of responsibility on my shoulders.

Everyone would look up to me, so every choice I made would have all the pressure of being correct added on top of it.

I would have my pick of brides someday, and I’d have to choose her correctly as well.

There was no way I would be respected if I were seen with the town outcast. The shiftless wolf.

My judgment would be questioned, and our long line of alphas could come to a bitter end if I were successfully challenged by someone for the title.

And so, I could never follow my heart and be with Lacey. I had to be mean and push her away.

Except now, the idea of me being an alpha is no longer something to work up to. I’ve been doing it for years. I’m strong and powerful, and I’ve proved this all to myself and to my people many times over. No one would dare take my title away from me.

My father was right, I could be with any woman I want. In fact, I can feel several women staring at me now, hoping I’ll take notice. But there’s only one woman I want, and it’s none of them.

I turn back to Lacey, who’s setting the veggie tray down on a nearby table.

Her black hair cascades over one shoulder, leaving the skin of her neck on the other side visible.

I remember burying my face in there that night, making her cry out to the moon in pleasure.

What I would give to hear that sound once again.

Lacey smiles kindly at the older woman across the table from her. She nods her head as the woman recognizes her. I can see that the older woman is surprised to see Lacey, unsure of what to do or say in this situation.

Years ago, Lacey would shrink into herself at the first sign of someone giving her the hairy eyeball like that.

Her shoulders would hunch forward, and she’d pull her hair in front of her face to hide.

But now, the woman’s look of shock doesn’t even seem to faze her.

Lacey wiggles her fingers, still smiling as she turns away to find her brother and the little girl again.

She’s no longer Greg’s mousy little sister. There's confidence in her tonight. But still, as she walks away from the table, I can sense a level of discomfort in her eyes. She doesn’t want to be back here. Not really.

I wander around the large mess hall, trying desperately to find something to distract myself with. People wave, make small talk, ask questions, but nothing can take my mind off Lacey’s return.

I have to speak with her. I can’t ignore it any longer.

Crossing the floor, I find Lacey sitting with Greg and her daughter at a table near the wall. Lacey’s back is to me, but I can see the little girl seated comfortably in Greg’s lap. She’s talking, and the closer I get, the more I hear her words.

“Is my daddy here?” she asks in an adorable little voice.

Lacey’s body goes rigid. “Yes, sweetie.”

The girl suddenly starts wriggling, like she’s trying to get out of Greg’s lap, but he holds her still. Not noticing my presence, he leans in closer to Lacey and whispers to her, loud enough that I can still hear it, however.

“Are you planning on telling Sawyer your secret?” Greg asks.

“I don’t see any reason to,” Lacey replies. “I mean, he’s so busy. The last thing Sawyer needs right now is to find out something like this.”

My legs stop moving mid-stride, the inside of my mouth drying in an instant. They’re keeping something from me? My best friend is keeping another thing from me? First, that he’s an uncle, second, whatever this is they’re talking about.

“Lacey, you can’t just keep something like this a secret,” Greg hisses back at her. “He has a right to know!”

“He’s lived this long not knowing. He can go a little longer. It’s not going to change anything.”

“Then why did you even come?”

“I came because I…” Lacey hangs her head. “I just needed to warn you about what I saw because I need you and him to be safe. As soon as I can tell you guys are on the right track and that you’re going to figure out how to stop this blight, then I’m bringing Shea back home.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” I blurt out.

I don’t exactly know what I’m doing, but with the way my blood is rushing through my body right now, I can’t let her and her daughter leave. Especially not before they tell me whatever this secret is.

Lacey’s head whips around, her face frozen in shock when she sees me standing there. Behind her, Greg’s cheeks are red, and the little girl is staring up at me, her head cocked to the side.

“What are you talking about?” Lacey asks. “I don’t live here anymore. You don’t have any jurisdiction over me.”

“You never officially left the pack, Lacey,” I tell her. “There’s paperwork. A manner of ritual. None of which were completed. By rights, you still belong here. You still belong to me.”

Lacey scoffs. “You told me you were going to exile me when you became an alpha. Why do you even care?”

“You said that?” Greg asks, his tone a mixture of astonishment and incredulity.

“I was being an asshole kid.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not like that anymore.”

Lacey folds her arms across her chest like she doesn’t believe me.

She has every right to feel that way, but I can’t let her go.

Watching her run away with her shirt inside-out, disappearing into the woods, was one of the greatest regrets of my life.

I should have followed, told her how I really felt about her.

I should have faced the slings and arrows that would have shot my way, believed in my strength from the get-go.

But I didn’t. And I can’t go back and change anything. I can only act now and keep her here, never to make the same mistake again.

“Now, tell me whatever it is you’re hiding from me,” I say icily.

Lacey turns over her shoulder, and Greg nods his head silently. When she turns back, I see the reluctance on her face.

“Sawyer, meet your daughter, Shea.” She points across the table at the girl watching this argument in a daze.

My mouth dries instantly. So, I really am the father of this little girl. Our night by the lake meant something. It produced a child. An heir.

A feeling washes over me that I never thought I would feel before. I can’t place it off the top of my head. All I know is that it would ruin me to see anything happen to that girl.

The idea of having children was always something that felt so distant, so far away. Now, my daughter is right in front of me, and a million things could happen to her or Lacey if they leave the valley.

I can’t let them go.

“Then you must stay here,” I say.

“No,” Lacey snaps. “We have a home, and it’s certainly not in this valley.”

“You will be safe here,” I argue back. “I am your alpha. I am her father. You are staying in the valley, and that is final. No compromises.”

“Sawyer, you can’t force us to stay here!” Lacey bites back.

“I can and I will,” I tell her, crossing my arms over my chest. “You haven’t been here in some time, but even you must remember that the alpha’s wife and child must stay within the valley’s limits.”

Taken aback, Lacey’s mouth hangs open. It takes a long moment for her to even formulate another sentence.

“But I’m not your wife,” she says.

“You will be,” I tell her. “After tonight.”