Page 14 of Creed (Rock Hard Mountain Men #3)

“I know you retired a bit early because something went wrong with your last mission. Brody and Magnus told me a little about it before we left, but they seemed to imply it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

My hands itched for something to fidget with. A pen. A stone. An old stick. Anything.

But all I grasped was air.

“I was taken POW on my last mission. Magnus and Brody think I arranged it in order to retire early but... that’s a lie. They just assumed and I never corrected them.”

Kayden’s shoulder pressed more firmly against mine. “So, you actually were...”

He couldn’t finish the question, but he didn’t need to.

Biting my lip, I nodded.

“I fucked up. I was distracted by everything that was happening with Magnus and Brody and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Our enemies got the drop on me during a mission and my whole team was captured. It’s a damn miracle most of us were saved as quickly as we were.”

Kayden was a professional writer. Words were his literal job. So, of course he picked up on the most important word in my entire explanation.

“Most?”

“Yeah. A few of our guys were killed in the initial capture. One of them was our translator. None of us spoke the native language of the area, and our captors didn’t speak English. Without a translator, the whole thing went south real quick. We couldn’t even negotiate. I thought...”

Panic started to creep in again, dissolving the edges of my vision into a gray fog. My hands shook against their restraints.

Kayden pressed as close to me as he could, tipping his neck to an uncomfortable angle so his head rested against mine.

“It’s all right,” he said in the same soothing voice he’d used earlier.

“Deep breaths. Obviously, you escaped. You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but it’s clearly affecting you.

I’m guessing that being captured again isn’t doing you any favors. ”

With a growl of frustration, I knocked my head back against the metal wall of the van.

“Damn it. I hate this. I’ve never been truly helpless before.

Even in our worst scrapes and our most dangerous missions, there was always a chance of survival.

I could always see a path forward, even if it was difficult or unlikely.

But that last mission, while I was staring down the gun and waiting for them to kill me, I couldn’t see anything except my own death.

After I survived, and I retired, I swore I would never have to feel like that again. ”

I felt Kayden nod more than I saw the movement.

“Yet, here you are again.”

“Yet, here I am again, in the same damn position, just as helpless as before.”

Finally saying it out loud was like lancing an infected wound.

It hurt, but there was also a sense of relief.

So much rot had built up inside me, every time I let Magnus and Brody continue their assumption that I controlled the whole situation, and every time pushed away my own fear, the infection buried itself deeper.

With the truth finally hanging out in the open air between us, some of the pressure building in my chest over the last few weeks abated and I could breathe a little easier.

“No,” I declared with more strength than I felt. “It’s not the same. The people who kidnapped me before were professionals. They knew what they were doing. These guys are amateurs at best. Probably just civilians with a little too much power.”

“You’re certain?”

“Yeah. Look at us.” I wiggled my legs to show off what I meant.

“We’re only secured by our wrists. A professional would never allow us so much movement or let us stay so close together.

Plus, that guy who was in here earlier, he didn’t know the first thing about intimidation.

He didn’t even pull out a weapon to back up his threats. ”

Kayden shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know, it felt pretty threatening when he was slamming me against the wall.”

I leaned some of my weight against him in a show of comfort. “Sorry about that. I shouldn’t have let you face that alone.”

“It’s fine. I was just worried about you.

At first you were asleep, but even after you woke up you were completely out of it.

Like you were comatose or something. When that guy came in to question us, I didn’t want him to notice the state you were in, so I tried to keep his attention on me.

” Kayden flinched, and if his hands had been free, he probably would have rubbed at the back of his head.

“I think my plan worked a little too well.”

“What did they want?”

I probably should have asked that earlier, but I’d been so distracted by everything else that the reason for our capture hadn’t seemed as important as the actual capture itself.

To my surprise, Kayden snorted like I’d just told a dumb joke.

“They want the same thing that Deputy who visited you wanted. Lisianthus Milford’s journal. They have it, but they can’t decipher it either. Just like the Deputy, they want you to crack the code for them.”

The van hit a bump, and the two of us jostled together. The chains around our wrists jingled with an almost merry sound, like Christmas bells.

“What makes them so sure I can figure it out?” I asked.

Kayden just shrugged, making his restraints chime again. “That Deputy was pretty certain that you could, so that seems to be a good enough reason for them to also assume that you can. Are they wrong?”

Sighing deeply, I twisted my wrists against the chains until I found the waistband of my pants.

Damn, they’d taken my belt. I had a knife hidden in the buckle that might have been helpful.

Even if our captors were just a bunch of puffed-up civilians, they were cautious. I had to give them that much.

“I might be able to. I’ve had some training in code breaking, but it’s not my specialty.”

“Don’t let them hear you say that, or they’ll have no reason to keep us around.” Kayden started laughing. The sound was more manic than joyful, making it clear that he didn’t find the situation humorous. He laughed simply because he didn’t know what else to do.

Still, being reminded of how helpless we were wasn’t pleasant. My expression grew grim, and I clenched my hands into tight fists.

Noticing my reaction, Kayden silenced his laughter. “Sorry, I shouldn’t joke like that.”

“No,” I shook my head. “It’s fine. Do whatever you need to in order to stay calm. I’m going to need you.”

“Need me?” Kayden snorted like he was about to laugh again but cut himself off. “I don’t think so. I can’t help you break a code, and I’ve never even been in a fight before. There’s nothing I can do to help. I’m just a liability here.”

“No, you’ve very important,” I insisted.

I really wished I could reach out to him.

Hold his hand, cup his face, anything to demonstrate how serious I was.

“Giving them what they want doesn’t guarantee we’ll survive.

Our best bet is to bide our time and plan our escape.

I’m going to get us out of here, I promise, but I’ll need your help.

If I start to panic again, I’ll need you to calm me down and keep me focused, just like you did a few minutes ago. Think you can do it?”

With a determined expression on his face, he nodded. “I’d do it even if we weren’t in danger. I hate seeing you panic like that.”

Shifting in place, I managed to angle my body in a way that allowed me to press a light kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“All right. I’m going to get us out of here. Trust me?”

He returned my kiss with one of his own.

“I trust you.”

Without a clock it was impossible to tell the exact time, but I guessed it was about another half hour before the van came to a stop.

I tried to coach Kayden on what to expect, so neither of us were too surprised when our captors placed dark bags over our heads before leading us out of the van.

They were being careful not to give us any clues about our location.

That meant there was something worth noticing.

My hope was that we’d eventually be able to get a good look at our surroundings, because right now, I had no clue where we were.

There was no telling how long we’d been unconscious, so we could very well have been taken to the other side of the country.

With our heads completely covered, neither Kayden nor I could walk very well.

A strong hand gripped each of my arms, half leading me and half dragging me along.

Based on the sounds around us that I could barely make out through the bag, it seemed like they brought us inside a building.

Whispers followed us, not close enough for me to hear what they were saying, but enough to know that we were surrounded by many people.

Fighting our way out wouldn’t be possible. For now, we’d have to play along with what they wanted and wait for an opportunity.

Unfortunately, there were two of us. If Kayden was right and they wanted me to crack the code on Lisianthus Milford’s journal, then I was the only one they needed. Kayden was expendable.

Eventually, we were brought to a stop, and someone kicked the back of my knees, forcing me to kneel. The landing was soft. I was kneeling on a thick carpet. Wherever we were, this wasn’t some forgotten basement out in the middle of nowhere.

Hopefully, the setting was different enough that it wouldn’t trigger any unwanted memories.

We were left waiting for several long minutes, hands bound, completely blind and mostly deaf.

The definition of helpless.

There was no warning before the bags were suddenly removed from our heads.

One minute my vision was shrouded in black, and the next bright light assaulted my eyes.

I wanted to blink, shake my head, or do something to help clear my vision, but that would only make me look vulnerable.

Instead, I kept my expression calm as I waited for my eyes to adjust, pretending that I could see clearly the entire time.