Page 40 of Craving Consequences

Lachlan’s two-story bungalow sits second from the bend from Maple Crest to Silver Pines Road. A wall of bush and two massive red spruces obstruct the view of his entire house. I study the chaos through narrowed eyes as I draw closer.

A dog barks in the distance, the sound sharp in the stillness.

My boots echo softly against the wet pavement as I turn up the driveway and pass Lachlan’s truck to the front door.

It sits squat and ready, the truck bed piled with plastic bins we’d picked up from the storage tucked safely beneath a tarp.

I knock once before letting myself in, because unlike me, no one in Jefferson locks their damn doors.

The inside of his house smells like fresh coffee and whatever cologne he spritzed on. Wood smoke and something sharp beneath it. Familiar.

He’s in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a travel mug in one hand and his phone in the other.

His duffle is already slung near the door, black and well-worn.

He looks up when I enter, face unreadable, but his eyes catch mine with something unspoken between us. Maybe he didn’t sleep either.

“You good?” he asks.

I shrug, dropping my bag beside his. “Define good.”

He huffs and sets down his mug. He lifts his free hand to rub the back of his neck. “Slept like shit. You? ”

“Same.”

Lachlan glances toward the window with its gloomy landscape. The rain has picked up. A rising patter hitting the roof. It’s the kind of onslaught made for tangled limbs and warm kisses. It makes wish for Everly and a day spent with her in bed.

“Think she’s awake?” Lachlan asks as if reading my thoughts.

“No idea,” I mutter.

His head bobs once, grim but resolute. “Well, let’s find out, shall we?”

I don’t ask what the plan is if she isn’t as I follow my friend out the front door and into the rain. We chuck our duffels into the backseat as the hard drum of rain soaks our clothes. The drive to her place isn’t more than ten minutes, but Lachlan flips on the heat.

“Jesus,” I breathe, ruffling a hand through my damp hair and shaking raindrops off my jacket. “Glad she’s not driving down in this shitshow.”

Lachlan grunts as he puts the truck into reverse and pulls out of his driveway. “Her little car is fine for around town, but headed into the wilderness in this weather? She’d never make it.”

I steal a peek at the neon glow of the dashboard. It’s still pretty early.

We did tell her we’d pick her up at six just to get a head start on the trip, but that didn’t mean she would be awake after yesterday.

Most people didn’t get up at the crack of dawn, except, apparently Lauren, calling to pull me out of a wildly beautiful dream.

But I don’t let my brain remember the view of dream-Everly bent over and begging me to fuck her.

It would only lead to a boner I won’t be able to explain.

Lachlan turns down Silver Pines Road.

“Hey...” I shift in my seat, ignoring the chafe of wet denim against my thighs. “About yesterday.”

Lachlan doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but his head cocks ever so slightly in my direction. “What about it?”

“Do we need to talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about?” His fingers drum once against the leather wheel. “It happened, and won’t happen again.”

I raise an eyebrow he can’t see. “You know we’re about to set off into the wilderness with Everly for several hours,” I reiterate slowly.

His mouth thins. “We have gone five years controlling ourselves. We can do it again.”

I scoff. “That was before we had her, Lach.”

“Well, I don’t fucking know, okay?” he snaps. “I don’t have a damn guidebook. I’m as lost and confused as you are.” He pauses to draw in a breath. “I just know that we can’t. I can’t,” he corrects softly.

I consider that for a long moment. I understand that our circumstances are vastly different and still closely the same, but I can’t help the tiny voice at the back of my mind wondering what would happen if I took Everly for myself.

Obviously, it would only be one of us ultimately.

Even if we both sleep with her, we can’t both actually keep her.

It’s unrealistic. But what if I asked her out?

What if she picked me? Lachlan would be pissed.

So would Lauren. In the long run, Everly wouldn’t be happy either and I would forever wonder if she was still pining for my best friend.

Or would we continue to share her in private?

Do I want to share her? For how long? What did sharing even mean and since when did I want it?

“You okay over there?” Lachlan mutters, glancing over at me quickly before facing forward again.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose where a dull ache has begun. “This whole thing is so fucked up.”

Lachlan barks a laugh. “Tell me about it.”

We sit in silence while the light hangs a steady red over the empty street. I watch a tiny blur scurry down the sidewalk and disappear behind a row of houses.

“If you could, would you keep her?”

“Yes,” says the other man without even letting me finish. “I would keep her. Wouldn’t you?”

“Would you share her?”

Lachlan’s face snaps in my direction. “With who?”

I shrug. “I dunno. Me? ”

I’m grateful he doesn’t answer right away. His silence as the light turns green and he resumes our drive is oddly comforting. It feels like he’s really giving it some thought, not just throwing out an answer he might not mean.

“It’s weird,” he says at last. “I was never the jealous sort with Ashley, or any woman I’ve been with.

I never felt the need to protect them or kill a man for touching them.

But the evening Bron brought Everly over and introduced her as his girlfriend.

..” he pauses to snarl under his breath.

“If he hadn’t been my kid, I think I would have punched him in the throat. ”

I try not to be amused when he looks so serious, but I grin as I say, “Are you threatening to punch me in the throat?”

Unamused, Lachlan shoots me a dry glower. “I’m saying, the thought of Everly with another man makes me homicidal in a way that should be studied.” He breaks off, chews on the inside of his cheek before grumbling, “Except you.”

My grin widens. “Love you, too, man.”

“Fuck you, asshole. Don’t make me take it back.” But there’s amusement twisting the corner of his lip.

I burst out laughing. “But I get it.” I sober slowly. “Seeing her with you doesn’t piss me off. I know it should. Two men with one woman is insane and unrealistic. It can’t possibly work. But seeing her loved and worshiped and protected by someone I trust and respect ... it doesn’t bother me. ”

“Ditto,” he murmurs. “Which is why I think you should have her.”

I start as if he unexpectedly announced his plans to live in a pineapple under the sea. “What?”

“I can’t. I ... all I’ve wanted for five years is her.

” His voice changes, gets quieter, but heavy with the weight of his thoughts.

“Even when she was with Bron, I never stopped loving her and I don’t think I ever will, but reality is a different situation.

Bron and I ... we’ve always been fucked.

Since he was a kid, he’s looked at me like I’m the cause of everything wrong in his life.

I tried to be his father. Failed every time.

I can’t fail in this. If I go after her, I lose my son.

Not maybe. Not possibly. It’s done. He won’t ever forgive me, and I don’t know if I can do that. ”

I don’t tell him his kid’s a fucking psychopath.

A stupid one with no common sense. He shouldn’t hinge his happiness on that little fuck face.

That’s not my place. I’ve seen how hard Lachlan has tried to connect with Bron, but you can’t bond with a narcissist. They’re not capable of basic, human emotions.

“On the other hand, Everly won’t stay single for long.

Not a chance. Half the male population of Jefferson will be at her door the minute the news spreads, and as hot as I’d look in orange, I know I can’t kill all of them.

” It’s hard to tell if he’s bullshitting when he’s speaking with the careful deliberation of someone trying to disarm a nuclear power plant.

“So, it has to be you,” he concludes simply.

Rationally. “I’d rather ... I want it to be you.

And I promise I won’t interfere. I won’t touch her. ”

I don’t know how to respond. I don’t even think there is a proper counter argument.

How do I express the flaws in his logic without changing his mind?

Because, yes, I want Everly to myself and him submitting her to me takes care of one problem.

I don’t want to point out the key factors he seems to be missing, but goddamn it!

How can I be selfish with my best friend when he’s being such a piece of shit martyr?

“She wanted you, Lach,” I mutter, trying — and possibly failing — to keep the grudge from my tone. “It was never Bron. She chose him because he was the next best thing.”

The calm in his features hardens with anger. “What’s your point, Van?”

“Can you sit and watch her in my arms without wanting her in yours? Will you still be my friend knowing I have her in my bed every night? I know I couldn’t if it were you. I know it would kill me—”

“Do you have a fucking point?” he snaps. “I’m giving her to you and you’re—”

“At what cost? Our friendship? Your heart and happiness? I get it. Thank you, but I can’t.

Not just because I can’t hurt you like that, but it’ll kill me seeing her look at you, knowing she wants you.

I will never have her whole heart, and I’ll always wonder if she regrets picking me.

” I turn my gaze to the red mailbox at the corner of Willows Bend.

“I love her. I love her so much it physically hurts when I see her. If I have her and lose her, I won’t recover. ”

He says nothing and I’ve never been so grateful. I don’t think there’s anything left to say, except let the conversation die in the water because there is no conclusion. Not a plausible one. Not one where everyone wins.

“Well, we can’t both keep her,” he snaps. “So, either you take her or...”

I get it.

Or neither of us gets her. Some other asshole will. Someone like Bron who will hurt her. Who will want her to be like everyone else in Jefferson. Everly plays the part well, but that fire in her eyes is all her. No one else has that. The guy she finds will want her to conform and it’ll break her.

But if Lachlan is committed to keeping her at arm’s length and I know I’m not strong enough to live with the seed of doubt ... where did that leave us?

“I think this only works if it’s both of us,” I murmur. “I know it’ll kill you if I’m with her and you can’t have her, especially after yesterday. You’ll pull away and it’ll destroy our friendship. I can’t live with that.”

Silence fills the space left behind by my words. I hate them as much as he does, but there are no winners here. Someone will lose. At least I’ll still have my best friend even if my heart is shattered.

“You’re a fucking dick,” he grumbles under his breath as he turns the truck up Everly’s driveway.

Any response I may have had is silenced by the familiar, cherry red Escalade practically parked on the porch.

“What the fuck?” Lachlan stomps on the brakes. “That’s Bron’s truck.”

I don’t need to be told, nor do I wait for the truck to be put into park before I throw my door open and leap out into the downpour.