Page 21
Story: Crash Test
Heather keeps me busy for the rest of the day, dragging my sorry ass down to the hotel gym and guiding me through a brutal
workout while she drinks an iced coffee and returns e-mails on her phone.
“That article about you and Antony’s gone off that site,” she tells me as I chug a bottle of water. “And look what’s popped
up in its place.”
She hands me her phone, open to an article with a picture of her and me at the airport and the title ‘F1 Driver Travis Keeping
Jets to France with Hot New Girlfriend!’
I roll my eyes. “Sorry about that.”
She shrugs. “No worries. I do have a boyfriend, though, so don’t get any ideas.” She winks and hip checks me. “Now c’mon,
let’s go grab some food.”
We have lunch at a restaurant nearby, then she drives us a little ways out of the city to a hike through a national park.
We don’t talk much, but it feels good to be out and moving. It gives me the illusion of accomplishing something.
Afterward, she books us in for dinner in the city’s nicest restaurant.
“This is on you, by the way,” she tells me as we sit down.
The food is good, but I’m getting antsy being away from the hospital so long.
I get the feeling Heather is eating slowly on purpose, forcing me to take some time away.
After a painstaking hour, she finally asks the waiter for our check.
“You can go to the hospital now,” she tells me outside the restaurant. “Remember what we talked about.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
On the way to the hospital, I force myself to run through the new speech I’ve prepared for Jacob’s parents. I’m going to tell
them about the article about Heather and me, and reassure them again that I won’t do anything to wreck Jacob’s career. Like
Heather said, sometimes people need to hear things a few times before they really listen. I’m kind of hoping Jacob might’ve
talked to them, too, though I don’t want him stressing himself out about it.
I press the buzzer in the waiting room and wait patiently for a nurse, praying it isn’t the older blond woman. When Jean’s
semi-friendly face appears, I can’t help feeling like it’s a sign. Maybe this time, I’ll make some headway.
This hopeful thinking carries me to his room, where Dr. K is standing at the foot of his bed, talking with his parents. Paul
and Lily are nowhere to be seen, which I think is another good sign. Jacob is sitting up further in bed. A warmth spreads
through my chest at the sight of him. His skin’s got a bit of color in it and his eyes are clearer.
“Ah, Monsieur Travis,” Dr. K says pleasantly, turning to greet me.
“Sorry,” I say awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
I sneak a glance at Jacob’s parents but glean very little from their cold expressions.
“We were just speaking about Jacob’s transfer,” Dr. K says, gesturing for me to sit at Jacob’s side, across from his parents. I shoot Jacob the tiniest smile as I sit down, but I’m not sure he sees it. He’s staring at his hands, the corners of his mouth pressed together tightly.
“Is he being moved out of the ICU?” I ask.
“Yes, soon,” Dr. K says. “But we are also discussing sending him to a different hospital, somewhere a bit more convenient
for all of you.” She smiles politely at his parents.
“Oh.” I sit back in my chair. I hadn’t thought of that. Jacob’s parents live somewhere in New Mexico. I’m a bit fuzzy on my
US geography, but I know it’s really far away from here. Jacob always complained about how inconvenient it was to get home
for holidays. My stomach clenches. If he goes to a hospital there, it’ll be nearly impossible to visit him. After the next
few races in Europe, F1 is headed to Singapore.
“There’s a hospital in Albuquerque that we’ve already been in touch with,” Jacob’s father says. “They have the best doctors
in the state. We’d like him moved there as soon as possible.”
I glance at Jacob again, but he seems determined not to look at me. He can’t be okay with this. He hates going back home.
He always says it’s too cold in winter and too hot in summer, and that no one sane should live in a place with so many poisonous
snakes and spiders.
“I will not clear him for transfer for at least a week,” Dr. K says. “Perhaps longer, if there are any complications. I need
to see him up and moving with our physiotherapists, and the orthopedic surgeon will need to clear him as well.”
“I’m sure he’ll be up and at it in no time,” Jacob’s father says.
“I certainly hope so,” Dr. K says pleasantly.
His parents smile at each other, but I can’t stop looking at Jacob. He looks absolutely miserable, and I just know he isn’t going to stand up for himself.
I clear my throat. “Are you sure that New Mexico’s the best place for him?”
Both his parents turn to ice, like I knew they would. Jacob’s mother’s mouth presses together so tightly that the edges of
her lips turn white.
“It’s his home,” she says tersely. “And he’ll need us to take care of him.”
“If he were in London—” I start, but his father interrupts.
“If he were in London, he’d be alone,” he says sharply. “He doesn’t know anyone there.”
“He knows me,” I shoot back.
Jacob’s father lets out a dismissive breath. “You’ll be off racing.”
“Then I’ll take time off,” I snap.
“Take time off,” he repeats scornfully. “You’re an F1 driver. What are you going to do, tell the world you need a personal
day?”
My cheeks flush. As much as I hate to admit it, he isn’t wrong. F1 drivers can’t just take time off. All of my time is booked
up months in advance, and I’ve already missed tons of work since Jacob’s crash. I remember the look on Stefan’s face when
I told him about Jacob. I need to think about this , he said.
The last thing I can afford right now is to miss more time.
“I could manage it,” I say, but even to my own ears, my voice sounds uncertain.
Jacob flinches a bit when I say it, though he still doesn’t lift his eyes. His father scoffs again, but Dr. K holds up her
hands.
“As I say, I will not clear him for another week, at least . We are getting too far ahead of ourselves. Once he is cleared for transfer, we can discuss this again. Does that sound okay with you, Jacob?”
She waits patiently for him to answer, but he just keeps staring at his hands.
“Jacob,” his mother says.
He shrugs one shoulder. “It’s fine.”
Dr. K’s brow creases with concern. “We can talk about it more later. For now, I’ll leave you to rest,” she says, gently stressing
the word “rest.”
The minute she’s gone, Jacob’s father leans forward and snatches an angry breath, but before he can speak, Jacob interrupts.
“Can you guys get me some water?” he asks his parents. “Please?”
His mother’s mouth tightens again, but after a moment she and Jacob’s father rise to their feet.
“Do you want ice?” she asks Jacob. I fight the urge to scowl at her. Jacob doesn’t like ice in his water.
“Whatever,” Jacob mumbles.
“Okay, love.” She leans over and kisses his forehead, and then they’re gone.
I let out a heavy breath and reach for Jacob’s hand, but he pulls away. He meets my eye for the first time since I walked
in, and his expression makes my blood run cold.
I swallow. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes drop down to his hands again. The silence stretches out so long I start to think he’s not going to answer. Finally,
he shrugs one shoulder. “I think we should cool it for a while.”
For a second, I can hear absolutely nothing, not even the thud of my pulse. “What?”
He picks at a loose thread on the bedsheet. “I think we should... take a break, or whatever.”
I’m too stunned to speak. It’s like the whole world’s tilted sideways.
“You don’t mean that.” I reach for his hand again, and this time he doesn’t flinch away, but his fingers are cold and rigid
beneath mine. “I know it’s been a mess with your parents,” I say in a rush, “but I can fix that. They just need some time,
I can talk to them again—”
“I don’t want you to talk to them again.” A drop of—something—is creeping into Jacob’s voice. I tighten my grip on his hand
and his eyes flash. This time, when he speaks, the anger is undeniable. “And it’s got nothing to do with them.”
There’s a painful hollow forming in the center of my chest. “Okay.” I try to sound calm, like I’m not about to fall apart.
“What is it, then?”
“For fuck’s sake.” He pulls his hand out of mine and scrubs his fingers over his forehead. “I just don’t want to do this anymore,
Travis.” The curt, dismissive way he says my name feels like a blow. “Look, we always had an expiration date, alright? I know
you think this is so fucking serious, but that’s just because you’ve never dated anyone before.”
My chest hurts so badly, I can hardly breathe. “We are serious.”
He rolls his eyes, and something inside of me fractures. “This isn’t that big a deal, alright?”
“Isn’t a big deal?” I repeat. “I’ve been worrying about you for weeks. I’ve barely slept—I had to lie to the team—”
“No one asked you to do that.”
“I almost lost you.”
Jacob lets out an awful, scornful breath. “Lost me,” he repeats. “I’m not your fucking property.”
I can’t think of anything to say to that. I just stare at him, with my heart bleeding out inside my chest.
In the silence, the door slides open and a nurse comes in, humming cheerfully.
“I have your medicine,” she says in a thick French accent, handing Jacob a tiny cup of pills and a glass of water. She watches
him take them, smiling at me, unaware of the tension between us. “Can I get you anything?” she asks after Jacob’s taken the
pills.
“No, thanks,” he mutters.
She lingers in the room, fiddling with Jacob’s heart monitor and then stepping away to refill the boxes of gloves that hang
near the door.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask in a low, strangled voice.
Jacob’s cheeks redden, and for a second I think he’s upset that he’s hurt me. Then his eyes flick to the nurse and I realize
he isn’t upset. He’s embarrassed .
Embarrassed of me.
I thought I’d learned what heartbreak was, these last few weeks, but this pain is utterly unbearable.
“I don’t understand,” I say hoarsely. “If I did something wrong—”
The door slides open again, and Jacob’s parents reappear. His mother smiles at him and hands him a glass of water, acting
for all the world as though I don’t exist.
“We’re going to FaceTime your grandmother,” his father tells him. Then he scowls at me expectantly.
“He’s leaving,” Jacob says without looking at me. The way he says it, it’s like he’s just done with me. A whole year together,
then three weeks of hell, and he just dismisses me, easy as that.
I can’t even bring myself to say anything, I’m so furious and hurt. I let out a disbelieving breath and then leave him alone
with his parents, just like he wants.
Table of Contents
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