Page 107 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Chapter 24

The clock was ticking down. Alex could feel it in his bones. There was a bomb waiting to go off. To change everything.

He scanned the horizon, trying to remind himself he knew what he was doing. He was in charge. He’d been born of these mountains. Surely that made him stronger than all the disparate parts clashing in his brain.

Exhaustion dogged him. It was hard to eat. Everything was normal, work and calving going well and in what amounted to the closest a ranch got to a routine, and yet he was dogged by this feeling everything was spiraling out of control. Including Becca.

Jack and Hick joked about something from their position on their horses behind him. Absently, Alex wondered if the horse riding made Jack’s recovery worse. Maybe he should force him to go to the doctor for some kind of release or permission.

But that would only circle them back to that promise. The therapist would be here soon, and Alex wasn’t stable yet.

He wouldn’t let that panic him. Panic got you killed.

In Afghanistan. Not here.

Alex forced himself to focus. Breathe. Everything was fine. Everything would be fine. The bunkhouse was close. The foundation was getting built. It was normal he’d feel a little jittery right on the cusp of all these new things.

They reached the stables, dismounted, and began unloading the tools they’d used to mend the fence. Hick and Jack continued to talk, and Alex tried to join in, but he couldn’t muster the focus.

Hick offered goodbyes, as he’d put in an extra hour and was mumbling about his wife having his hide. Alex muttered a half-hearted goodbye as he stored the tools where they belonged.

Jack nudged him. “You hear me?”

Alex looked up. Weird, his head spun a little bit. Maybe he was getting sick. “What?”

Jack’s expression changed, something like concern etching in his sharp, stoic features. “Something going on with you and Becca?”

“No. Why would you ask that?”

Jack shrugged. “You’re out of it today. She seems quiet lately.”

“We’re fine. She’s fine.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Your kind of fine or actually fine?”

Alex wanted to snap, but Jack wasn’t off base. At least about Becca. She had been quiet these past few days. When she smiled it wasn’t that full-wattage thing.

But she did smile. And she didn’t say anything off or act any different, exactly. Just more that everything about her was…muted.

Alex frowned over the fact that Jack had picked up on that and he hadn’t until Jack had pointed it out to him.

“We’ve just been focused on the foundation lately is all. She wants to get it all together and so do I, but that’s…stressful. Tiring.” That was all it was. Surely.

Alex walked next to Jack toward the house, Star prancing ahead of them. Gabe was on dinner duty, and it was about time for it to be ready.

“I’m not big on poking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but take it from a guy who ignored a lot of signs—whatever’s going on in that head of Becca’s…it isn’t good. I’d do something about it if you want her to stick around.”

“She’s not going anywhere,” Alex grumbled.

“She wouldn’t leave the ranch or the foundation, no, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t…” Jack shook his head and increased his limping pace toward the house. “Never mind.”

“No. No, say it,” Alex demanded, because he couldn’t understand what Jack thought he was getting at enough to refute it.

Jack stopped at the bottom of the stairs and jammed his hands into his pockets and turned to face Alex. “Anyone can see she’s head over heels for you, Alex, God knows why. But…that isn’t always enough.”

“Enough what?”

“Christ,” Jack muttered, clearly uncomfortable. “Look at yourself. Look how much worse you’re getting. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that women don’t stick around for this kind of shit.”