Page 20 of Cowboy (Fury Vipers MC: Dublin Chapter #4)

Once night hits, I find myself leaning into Ciarán's side, feeling comfortable in his presence.

We don't speak much, but the silence is comfortable, filled with unspoken understanding and support. He’s taken care of me and Saoirse.

As soon as we arrived home, he cooked for us, making sure that we ate.

Eventually, exhaustion begins to overtake me. Ciarán notices my drooping eyelids and gently suggests I get some rest. As I stand to head upstairs, a wave of dizziness hits me, and I stumble slightly. Ciarán is at my side in an instant, his arm around my waist, steadying me.

"Easy there," he says softly. "Let me help you upstairs."

I nod, too tired to argue. As we make our way up to the guest room, I lean heavily on Ciarán, grateful for his support. At the door, I pause, suddenly reluctant to be alone.

"Ciarán," I whisper, my voice shaky. "Would you... would you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep? I don't want to be alone."

His eyes soften with understanding. "Of course, Caoimhe. Whatever you need."

We enter the room quietly, careful not to wake Saoirse, who's curled up on one side of the bed. I slip under the covers on the other side, and Ciarán settles into a chair beside the bed.

As I lay there, the events of the day replaying in my mind, I feel the familiar tendrils of fear and anxiety creeping in. But then I feel Ciarán's hand gently take mine, and somehow, it grounds me.

"I'm here," he murmurs. "You're safe now. Both of you."

I squeeze his hand, feeling a rush of gratitude. "Thank you," I whisper back.

As I drift off to sleep, Ciarán's hand still in mine, I realize that for the first time in a long time, I feel truly safe. The road ahead will be difficult, I know that. But with Ciarán by my side and Saoirse to care for, I have a reason to keep fighting, to keep healing.

Tomorrow will bring new challenges, but for now, I let myself sink into a peaceful sleep, anchored by Ciarán's steady presence and the soft sound of Saoirse's breathing beside me.

* * *

I wake to the smell of coffee and the quiet murmur of voices downstairs. For a moment, panic grips me as I realize I'm alone in the bed, but then I hear Saoirse's giggle floating up from the kitchen, and I relax.

I make my way downstairs, pausing at the kitchen doorway to take in the scene before me. Ciarán is at the stove, flipping pancakes, while Saoirse sits at the table, her legs swinging as she chatters away about something. The normality of it all nearly brings me to tears.

"Good morning," I say softly, not wanting to startle them.

Saoirse's face lights up. "Caoimhe! Ciarán's making pancakes! With chocolate chips!"

Ciarán turns, a warm smile on his face. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

I consider the question for a moment. "Better," I say, realizing it's true. The rest has done me good, and the sight of Saoirse and Ciarán together brings a warmth to my chest.

"Hungry?" Ciarán asks, gesturing to the stack of pancakes.

I nod, settling into a chair at the table. "Starving, actually."

As Ciarán sets a plate in front of me, I'm struck by how domestic this all feels. It's a stark contrast to the horrors we've been through, and for a moment, I allow myself to imagine this could be our new normal.

"So," Ciarán says as he joins us at the table, "I was thinking we could go shopping today. Get you and Saoirse some clothes and other things you might need."

I hesitate. The thought of going out in public still makes me anxious. "I don't know..."

Ciarán reaches across the table, gently taking my hand. "We don't have to if you're not ready. But I'll be with you the whole time, and we can leave whenever you want."

I look at Saoirse, who's watching me with hopeful eyes. She's been so brave through all of this, and I know she needs some semblance of normalcy too.

"Okay," I say finally. "We can try."

Saoirse cheers, and I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm.

After breakfast, we get ready to head out. As I borrow some of Ciarán's clothes again, I'm struck by how much I need this shopping trip. I need to reclaim some part of myself, to have clothes that are mine again.

As we drive to the mall, I feel my anxiety rising. Ciarán seems to sense this and reaches over to squeeze my hand reassuringly.

"Remember," he says softly, "we can leave anytime you want. Just say the word."

I nod, grateful for his understanding.

The shopping center is busy, and I feel myself tensing up as we enter. But Saoirse's excitement is contagious, and I find myself relaxing slightly as we make our way to the first store.

As we shop, picking out clothes for both Saoirse and I, I start to feel a bit more like myself. The simple act of choosing what to wear, of having control over something so basic, is surprisingly empowering.

We're in a children's store, Saoirse trying on a bright yellow dress, when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Caoimhe? Is that you?"

I freeze, my heart racing. Slowly, I turn to see my old friend, Aoife, standing there, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Oh my God, it is you!" she exclaims, moving as if to hug me.

I instinctively step back, bumping into Ciarán, who's appeared behind me. His hand on my back steadies me.

"Aoife," I manage to say, my voice shaky. "Hi."

Aoife's smile falters as she takes in my reaction. "I... We all thought... Are you okay?"

I swallow hard, trying to find my voice. "I'm... I'm fine. It's just been a long time."

Ciarán steps forward slightly, his presence reassuring. "Hi, I'm Ciarán," he says, extending his hand to Aoife.

Aoife shakes his hand, her eyes darting between us. "Nice to meet you. I'm Aoife, an old friend of Caoimhe's."

Just then, Saoirse emerges from the dressing room, twirling in her yellow dress. She stops short when she sees the tension in my face.

"Caoimhe?" she says uncertainly, moving to my side.

I put my arm around her shoulders, drawing strength from her presence. "Saoirse, this is my friend Aoife. Aoife, this is Saoirse."

Aoife's eyes widen slightly as she takes in the scene, clearly trying to piece together what's going on. "It's nice to meet you, Saoirse," she says, her voice gentle.

I can see the questions forming in Aoife's eyes, but I'm not ready to answer them. Not here, not now.

"We should go," I say quietly to Ciarán. He nods, understanding in his eyes.

"It was nice to meet you, Aoife," Ciarán says. "But we need to get going."

Aoife nods, still looking confused and concerned. "Of course. Caoimhe, it's really good to see you. Maybe we could catch up sometime?"

I hesitate, torn between the desire to reconnect with my old life and the fear of facing all the questions that would come with it. "Maybe," I say finally. "I'll... I'll be in touch."

As we walk away, I can feel Aoife's eyes on us. My heart is racing, and I'm grateful for Ciarán's steady presence beside me.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly as we make our way to the checkout.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. "I think so. It was just... unexpected."

Saoirse slips her hand into mine. "Who was that lady, Caoimhe?"

"An old friend," I explain, squeezing her hand gently. "From before... before everything happened."

As we leave the store, I feel a mixture of emotions swirling inside me.

The encounter with Aoife has brought my past crashing into my present, and I'm not sure I'm ready to face it all yet.

But as I look at Ciarán and Saoirse, I'm reminded that I'm not alone in this.

Whatever comes next, I have them by my side.

We make our way back to the car, our arms full of shopping bags. As Ciarán loads the bags into the trunk, I lean against the car, taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart. The encounter with Aoife has left me feeling shaken and exposed.

"You okay?" Ciarán asks softly, coming to stand beside me.

I nod, not trusting my voice just yet. Saoirse looks up at me, concern in her young eyes.

"Can we go home now?" she asks quietly.

Home. The word hits me hard. Is Ciarán's house home now? The concept feels both comforting and terrifying.

"Yeah, sweetheart," I manage to say. "Let's go home."

As we drive back, the car is quiet. I can feel Ciarán glancing at me occasionally, worry evident in his expression. Finally, he breaks the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently.

I take a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. "I don't know," I admit. "Seeing Aoife... it brought back so much. My old life, who I used to be. I'm not sure I'm ready to face all of that yet."

Ciarán nods, understanding in his eyes. "You don't have to face it all at once, Caoimhe. You can take it one step at a time."

His words settle something in me, and I feel some of the tension leave my body. "Thank you," I whisper.

When we get back to the house, Saoirse is eager to try on her new clothes. As she disappears upstairs with her bags, I sink onto the couch, suddenly exhausted.

Ciarán sits beside me, close enough that I can feel his warmth but not so close as to make me uncomfortable. "You did really well today," he says softly.

I look at him, surprised. "I did?"

He nods, a small smile on his face. "You faced a lot. The shopping centre, seeing an old friend. That's not easy after everything you've been through."

His words make me pause, considering. He's right. A few weeks ago, I couldn't have imagined doing any of this. Maybe I am making progress, even if it doesn't always feel like it.

"I couldn't have done it without you," I say, meeting his eyes. "You and Saoirse... you give me strength."

Ciarán's expression softens, and for a moment, I see something in his eyes that makes my heart skip a beat. But before either of us can say anything more, we hear Saoirse calling from upstairs.

"Caoimhe! Ciarán! Come see!"

We share a smile and head upstairs to see Saoirse's fashion show. As I watch her twirl in her new dresses, giggling and carefree, I feel a warmth spread through my chest. This is what I fought so hard for; what I protected her for.