Page 19 of Cowboy (Fury Vipers MC: Dublin Chapter #4)

CAOIMHE

I sit nervously in the hospital waiting room, Saoirse's small hand clasped tightly in mine. The sterile smell and harsh fluorescent lights are making me anxious, bringing back memories of being passed around in Mr. Blackwood’s house.

But Ciarán insisted I needed to be checked out thoroughly, and deep down I know he's right.

"It's okay," Saoirse whispers, squeezing my hand. "Ciarán said the doctors here are nice."

I give her a small smile, loving her strength. "You're right, sweetheart. It'll be fine."

Just then, a nurse appears. "Caoimhe? We're ready for you now."

I stand on shaky legs, Saoirse rising with me. "Can she come with me?" I ask, not wanting to be separated from her.

The nurse hesitates, then nods. "Of course. Right this way."

As we follow her down the hallway, I can't help but scan every corner, every doorway. Old habits die hard. The nurse leads us into an examination room, where a kind-looking female doctor is waiting.

"Hello Caoimhe, I'm Dr. Mulroy," she says warmly. "And who's this little one?"

"This is Saoirse," I reply, my arm protectively around the girl's shoulders.

Dr. Mulroy smiles at Saoirse. "It's nice to meet you, Saoirse. Is it okay if I talk to Caoimhe for a bit?"

Saoirse nods, moving to sit in a chair in the corner of the room. I settle onto the exam table, my heart racing.

"Alright, Caoimhe," Dr. Mulroy says gently. "I understand you've been through a very difficult time. We're going to do a full workup today to make sure you're healthy. Is that okay?"

I nod, swallowing hard. "Yes. That's... that's fine."

As Dr. Mulroy begins the examination, asking questions and taking notes, I try to focus on Saoirse's presence, on the safety of this moment. But as the doctor's questions delve deeper into my time in captivity, I feel myself starting to shake.

"Caoimhe?" Dr. Mulroy's voice breaks through my rising panic. "We can take a break if you need to."

I shake my head, determined to get through this. "No, I'm okay. Let's continue."

The examination seems to last forever. Blood tests, scans, more questions. By the end, I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally. But there's also a small sense of relief. Whatever the results, at least now I'll know.

As we wait for Dr. Mulroy to return with the preliminary results, Saoirse climbs onto the exam table with me, curling into my side. I wrap my arm around her, drawing comfort from her presence.

Finally, Dr. Mulroy returns, a folder in her hands. She sits down, her expression serious but kind.

"Caoimhe, I have your initial results," she says gently. "First, I want you to know that you're incredibly strong. What you've been through... it's remarkable that you're here, that you've survived."

I nod, bracing myself for what's to come. "Just tell me, please."

Dr. Mulroy takes a deep breath. "You're suffering from severe malnutrition and anemia. Your body has been under extreme stress for a prolonged period, which has affected several of your organs. We'll need to start you on a specialized diet and vitamin regimen immediately."

I absorb this information, feeling Saoirse's small hand slip into mine. "Is... is there anything else?"

The doctor's expression softens. "Caoimhe, I'm so sorry, but there are signs of significant internal scarring. It's likely a result of the... abuse you endured. This scarring, combined with the malnutrition, means that... well, it may be very difficult for you to conceive children in the future."

The words hit me like a physical blow. I've never really thought about having children before, but to have that choice taken away from me... it's devastating in a way I didn't expect.

"However," Dr. Mulroy continues quickly, seeing my distress, "with proper care and treatment, your overall health should improve significantly. And there are options we can discuss regarding fertility, if that's something you want to pursue in the future."

I nod numbly, trying to process everything. "What about... what about diseases? Did they..."

"Your STD panel came back clean," she assures me. "We'll do follow-up tests to be certain, but for now, that's one less thing for you to worry about."

Relief washes over me at this news. At least there's that.

"What happens now?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Now, we start your treatment," Dr. Mulroy says firmly. "I'm going to prescribe a series of vitamins and supplements, as well as a meal plan to help get your nutrition back on track. I'd also like you to come in for weekly check-ups for the next month or so, just to monitor your progress."

I nod, feeling overwhelmed but grateful for the doctor's care. "Thank you," I manage to say.

As we leave the hospital, prescriptions in hand, I feel a mixture of emotions: relief at knowing what I'm dealing with, fear about the long-term effects, and a deep sadness for all that's been taken from me.

But as Saoirse's hand slips into mine, I'm reminded of what I still have.

I may be battered and bruised, but I'm alive.

And I have this precious child to care for.

Ciarán is waiting for us in the parking lot, his face a mask of concern. "How did it go?" he asks gently as he opens the car door for us.

I take a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. "It was... a lot," I say softly. "I have some health issues to deal with, but Dr. Mulroy says with proper treatment, I should improve."

Ciarán nods, his eyes filled with concern. "Whatever you need, Caoimhe. We'll get through this together."

As we drive home, I lean my head against the window, watching the city pass by.

Saoirse dozes in the backseat, exhausted from the long day at the hospital.

I think about everything Dr. Mulroy told me, about the long road to recovery ahead of me.

It feels overwhelming, but I'm determined to get better, for Saoirse's sake as much as my own.

"Ciarán," I say quietly, not wanting to wake Saoirse. "There's something else that Dr. Mulroy told me."

He glances at me, his expression serious. "What is it?"

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "The doctor said... she said that because of the abuse and malnutrition, I might not be able to have children in the future." My voice breaks on the last words, the reality of it hitting me all over again.

Ciarán's hand reaches for mine, squeezing it gently. "Caoimhe," he says softly. "You know, that doesn't change anything. You're still you, still strong and amazing. And we'll face whatever comes together, okay?"

I nod, feeling a rush of gratitude for his unwavering support. "Thank you," I whisper.

As we pull up to Ciarán's house, I see a familiar figure waiting on the porch. It's Grá, Bozo's girlfriend and a nurse. She smiles warmly as we approach.

"Hey," she says softly. "I hope it's okay that I'm here. I thought you might want to talk after your appointment."

I feel a wave of relief at her presence. Somehow, having another woman here, especially one with medical knowledge, makes me feel a little less vulnerable.

"That would be nice," I say, managing a small smile.

As we settle inside, Saoirse still sleeping in Ciarán's arms as he carries her to the guest room, I find myself opening up to Grá. I tell her about the doctor's findings, about my fears for the future. She listens with compassion, offering gentle advice and reassurance.

"You're not alone in this, Caoimhe," she says firmly. "We're all here for you, whatever you need."

As the evening wears on, I feel a small spark of hope ignite in my chest. The road ahead won't be easy, but with Ciarán, Saoirse, and friends like Grá by my side, maybe, just maybe, I can find my way back to myself.

As Grá leaves, promising to check in tomorrow, I feel a mixture of exhaustion and relief wash over me. The day has been emotionally draining, but there's a small comfort in knowing that I'm not facing this alone.

Ciarán comes back downstairs after tucking Saoirse in. He sits beside me on the couch, his presence warm and reassuring.

"How are you holding up?" he asks gently.

I take a deep breath, considering the question. "I'm... I'm not sure," I admit. "It's a lot to process. But I think... I think I'm going to be okay. Eventually."

Ciarán nods, his eyes full of understanding. "You will be. You're the strongest person I know, Caoimhe. And I'm here, every step of the way."

We sit in comfortable silence for a while, the events of the day settling around us. Finally, I speak up, voicing a concern that's been nagging at me.

"Ciarán," I start hesitantly, "what about Saoirse? Legally, I mean. I can't... I can't lose her."

Ciarán turns to face me fully, his expression serious. "We won't let that happen. I've already talked to Jer about it. He's got some connections in family services. We're going to do everything we can to make sure Saoirse stays with you."

Relief floods through me at his words. "Thank you," I whisper, feeling tears prick at my eyes.

Ciarán reaches out, gently wiping away a tear that's escaped. "You don't have to thank me, Caoimhe. I told you, we're in this together."

As I look into his eyes, I'm struck by the depth of emotion I see there. Despite everything that's happened, everything I've been through, I feel a flutter in my chest. A feeling I thought I'd never experience again.

"Ciarán," I say softly, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He smiles gently. It’s a warm smile that reaches his eyes. "You'll never have to find out. I'm not going anywhere."

For a moment I allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay. The road ahead is long and uncertain, but for the first time in a long time, I feel a glimmer of hope for the future.