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“Please.” I duck between them so that Jaxon can’t ignore me, then grab on to the hand he’s using to hold Hudson against the wall. “Come on, Jaxon,” I say, determined not to be ignored any longer. “Don’t do this.”
The eyes he glances at me with are pitch-black and empty, and they chill me to my very core. Because this isn’t my Jaxon. Even that very first day, he didn’t look like this.
The others have gotten into the act, yelling at Jaxon, trying to pry him off Hudson, but it’s not working. Nothing is.
I’m dimly aware that Macy is calling Uncle Finn, but if I don’t do something now, this will be over before he can get here. Sure, Hudson could use his power to bring the ceiling down, but he won’t do that. Not with the others and me in here.
Which means I have to find a way to stop this, to get beyond whatever’s got him in its thrall and reach the Jaxon I pray is still in there.
I take a deep breath to keep the panic at bay, then let it out slowly as I reach up to cup his cheeks in my palms. “Jaxon,” I whisper. “Look at me.”
For a few impossibly long seconds, he refuses. But then that empty gaze locks on mine, and I nearly cry out, terrified that I’m already too late.
But he’s in there; I know he’s in there. I just have to find him. “It’s okay,” I tell him softly. “I’ve got you, Jaxon. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever this is, whatever’s going on. I swear I’ve got you.”
He starts to shake. “Grace,” he whispers, and he looks so lost, it breaks my heart. “Something’s wrong. Something’s—”
“I know.” The whole room starts to shake now. Things are falling off the walls, stones are cracking, and behind me, I feel Hudson start to sag.
We’re running out of time; I can feel it. Panic is a rabid animal inside me now, but I fight it back, refuse to give in. Because if I do, it’s over. And then what am I going to do? What are any of us going to do?
For a second, just a second, I look past him and out the still-open doors…and see the aurora borealis dancing across the sky. It gives me an idea. I just hope it’s a good one—I know this is the last chance I’ve got.
“The Northern Lights just came out, Jaxon. They’re right outside.”
Our friends make disbelieving sounds, like they can’t believe what I’m saying. But I’m betting everything on my belief that the Jaxon I loved is still in there somewhere.
“Do you remember that night?” I whisper. “I was so nervous, but you just held my hand and took me right off the edge of the parapet.”
The shaking is worse now, in him and the room. But I know he’s in there now, can feel him trying to find his way back to us.
“You danced me across the sky. Remember? We stayed out for hours. I was freezing, but I didn’t want to go in. I didn’t want to miss a second out there with you.”
“Grace.” It’s an agonized whisper, but as he focuses on me, it’s enough. His hold on his power slips for just a second, and Hudson strikes.
Humpty Dumpty
Got Nothing on Us
Jaxon roars as he hits the wall next to the door hard enough to leave a full-body imprint in the centuries-old stone. He recovers faster than I imagine possible and starts to charge Hudson again. Meanwhile, Hudson’s in the middle of the room trying to get his breath back, but the look on his face says he’s had enough.
Jaxon starts to swing at him, but he ducks and manages to evade. When Jaxon whirls and tries to use his telekinesis again, Hudson growls, “Don’t you fucking dare!” Seconds later, the marble beneath Jaxon explodes and sends him falling into a two-foot hole.
And no, just no.
Jaxon jumps out in one fluid move, and he’s got Hudson in his sights. But Hudson is looking right back, his patience long gone, and I am deathly afraid they are going to murder each other if someone doesn’t do something.
I must not be the only one, because Mekhi, Luca, Eden, and Flint literally jump on Jaxon, while I whirl on Hudson. “Stop!” I snarl, and he freezes, eyes wide.
And I get it. I’m almost positive I have never sounded like that in my life, but there is no way I’m going to let these two people I love so much destroy each other on my watch. No fucking way.
“You need to back off,” I tell him. And yes, I’m aware of how unfair it is for me to say that to him when Jaxon’s the one who attacked him, but he’s the one with the clear head. I don’t know what’s going on inside Jaxon, but whatever it is, it’s not okay. “Something’s really wrong with him.”
Hudson blows out a long, slow breath, but he nods and takes a step back. And I…I turn back to Jaxon and the mess that we’ve managed to make.
He’s calmed down enough that Flint and Eden have dropped their hold on him and stepped back. Luca has also let go of him, but he’s positioned himself directly between Jaxon and Hudson while Mekhi still holds on tight.
“I’ve got him,” I tell Mekhi.
He gives me an I don’t think so look, but I just wait him out, everything that’s happened in the last few days playing through my mind like a video on a loop. Eventually Mekhi steps back, giving me some room. And I walk straight up to Jaxon and pull him into my arms.
He resists at first, his body stiff and unyielding against mine. But I’m not letting him go and, as he finally figures that out, he drops his head onto my shoulder and buries his face in the curve between my shoulder and my neck.
I don’t say anything at first and neither does he. Instead, we just hold on tight to each other as the seconds tick by. At one point, I feel wetness against my neck and realize that Jaxon is crying. And my heart nearly buckles under the pain of it all.
As seconds turn to minutes, I want to pull away so I can find out what’s wrong with him and how I can help. But my mom taught me a long time ago to never be the one who breaks a hug like this first, because you never know what the other person is going through…or what they need.
It’s obvious Jaxon is going through something, and if this is all he’ll let me do for him, then this is what I’ll do for as long as he needs me.
Eventually, though, his silent tears dry up, and he pulls away. For the second time tonight, our eyes lock, and then he whispers, “I’m all fucked up, Grace.”
It’s so obvious now, when I look at him. He’s lost weight again and looks even skinnier now than he did when I made it back from being frozen in stone. His face is sharper, the circles under his eyes so pronounced, he looks like he’s got two black eyes. And there’s still something very, very wrong with his eyes themselves.
“Tell me,” I whisper, my hands clutching his.
But he just shakes his head. “I’m not your problem anymore.”
“You listen to me, Jaxon Vega,” I order, and this time I don’t even try to keep my voice down. “Whatever’s happened between us, you will always be my problem. You will always matter to me. And I’m scared. I’m really scared, and I need you to tell me what’s going on with you.”
“It’s—” He breaks off. Shakes his head. Looks down.
All of which only scares me more. Jaxon is usually pretty straightforward about what’s up with him, and if he’s acting like this, it must be even worse than I’ve imagined.
And that’s when I remember. “Why did the Crone say that today?” I whisper. “Why did she say that you don’t have a soul?”
He’s shaking like a leaf again. “I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“You mean it’s true?” I whisper as horror shreds my insides. “How? When? Why?”
He doesn’t look at me when he answers, but he doesn’t let go of his death grip on my hands, either. “I knew something was wrong—it’s been wrong for weeks. So when I was in London this last time, I went to see a healer.”
“What did she say?” I ask, and part of me wants to scream at him for taking too long. To beg him to just spit it out so I can determine how badly I need to freak out. Because right now, it feels like I should be doing a lot of freaking out. Like, a lot a lot.
“He said—” His voice breaks, so he swallows a couple of times and starts again. “He said that when the mating bond broke, our souls broke, too.”
Behind me, Macy gasps, but no one else makes a sound. I’m not sure they’re even breathing. I’m pretty sure that I’m not at this point.
“What does that mean?” I ask when I can finally squeeze some oxygen into my lungs, but this time it’s my voice that cracks. “How can our souls be broken? How can they—” I force myself to stop talking and to just wait, to listen to what he has to say. He’s obviously in worse shape than I am, because my soul—and the rest of me—feels fine.
“It’s because it happened against our wills—and so violently that it nearly destroyed us right when it happened. Remember?”
Remember? Is he serious? I’ll never forget the agony of those moments or how close I was to giving up forever. I’ll never forget the look on Jaxon’s face or the way it felt to have Hudson talk me off the snow.
“Of course I remember,” I whisper.