Page 7 of Covert (Ruthless Love #2)

Chapter six

Nikki

" Y ou're not going," Maddox growls after Diesel leaves.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not going. Those guys are killers. They'll eat you up and spit you out."

I roll my eyes at him.

"Those guys? They're teddy bears."

"You're na?ve and stupid if you think that."

I bristle at the insult. I stare him dead in his eyes and lower my voice. "I've seen the Devil. Those men aren't it." I push off my stool and go to the back storage, effectively ending the conversation.

Usually, his hotheaded outbursts don't faze me, but Maddox is barking up the wrong fucking tree if he thinks he can tell me what I can and cannot do outside of the shop. I've spent my entire life letting men dictate where I go and what I do. I'm not about to let him do it, too.

I cooled off as the day went by yesterday. I know he thinks he's protecting me because he doesn't know me well enough yet. So the insults and barked commands were coming from a place of trying to keep me safe. Maybe we need to sit down and have a very long discussion.

Leana was more excited about going to this thing than I was when I texted her about it yesterday. I wasn't going to go at first. Too many people, not enough exits, variables I can't control, alcohol, strangers. It's all a recipe for disaster .

But the image of Diesel's hazel brown eyes, dimples, and blush stayed with me for the rest of the day.

I could see his interest from the moment he walked into the shop.

And yeah, I kind of liked it. I'm used to men leering at me or checking me out when I allow myself to go to a bar to pick up a stranger, but his attention felt different.

It felt nice to be desired. It felt nice to feel like a woman, to be appreciated.

Diesel made me feel special, and I know how stupid it is to chase after external validation, but it's been so long since a man has looked at me like I was something he wanted.

I catch Axel, Maddox, and sometimes even Beckett looking at me, but they look at me like I'm a puzzle they want to solve. Not like I'm a woman they want to go to war for.

That's how Diesel looked at me, and I want more of that. I want more of feeling beautiful and sexy. I have moments where I feel beautiful, but never wanted.

I usually avoid attention, but I'm feeling weak today and want more of one man's attention. Only one man.

Which is why I let Leana pick out my outfit for this party.

I should have stayed strong and stuck to my normal wardrobe.

I wear the same outfit every day. Flowy skirt that hits just above my knees, a large sweater with a tank top underneath, and ballet flats.

It still feels feminine while allowing me to fade into the background.

I drove to Leana's apartment first to get ready, since we decided to let her drive to the party.

I'm not sure my Betty would make it out of town, and haven't had the time to research what the clunking noise she's been making is.

It wouldn't matter, anyway. I really shouldn't have paid for Diesel's tattoo, but fuck, he was cute .

"Look at you, spreading your wings," Leana teases from where she's sitting on her bed. We're both cross-legged, and she's doing my makeup. I don't own makeup, and never learned how to apply it, but Leana insisted.

I grumble, nerves eating away at my stomach. I forgot to eat dinner, and I know Diesel said there'd be food, but I might be too nervous to eat.

"I don't know why you're doing all this," I motion to my face as she outlines my lips. "If he doesn't want me without makeup, then I don't want him."

"It's just enhancing your best features. You're going to blow him away. I can already see little daredevil, nerdy children in your future."

I choke out a disbelieving cough. There will be no children. I'm not even sure I want to sleep with him, or if he wants to sleep with me. There's a long and winding road between interest and hopping into bed with a stranger.

I've been feeling good at the shop, even with Beckett's wary gaze and Axel's flirting and Maddox's grumpiness.

Leana knew about Diesel from when he'd come in with some of the MC friends for piercings.

She approves of him, generally, but admits she doesn't know him really well.

So this idea of some sort of happily-ever-after with a man I literally just met is a bit far.

But deep down, Leana's a hopeless romantic who just hasn't found her person yet.

"There will be no babies, no... whatever you're imagining. I don't date. I don't do anything long-term," I insist, and a little quieter, add, "You know that."

She sits back and takes in her work, looking just a little bit sadder. "I know, babe. But I can want good things for my friend, can't I? "

Chastised, I pucker my lips, indicating for her to get on with the lipstick.

An hour later, Leana's red antique mustang rolls to a stop outside a gate.

I feel uncomfortable. My lips feel weird with the lipstick on, my eyes feel heavy with liner and makeup.

I feel like I'm wearing way too much. I might need to find a bathroom and take it off when we get there.

I wore the same a-line dress, but in black, and added fishnets and a pair of black ankle boots.

I insisted, again, that I wasn't interested in anything with him, and even dropped that maybe she could date him. She's got stability I lack.

But I won't lie when a little part of me flinched thinking about him and her together.

Whatever. Nothing's made to last.

We'll go, congratulate him, maybe drink, have a good time, and then leave before shit gets crazy. I'm not interested in having group sex or getting drunk and waking up someone's old lady.

A man wearing black tactical gear with a rifle slides up to Leana's window.

"You ladies lost?"

I lean across the console. "Scar and Diesel invited us for his patching-in? We're Leana and Nikki."

Understanding crossed the man's face. "Ah, you're Diesel's girl.

" I fight back a cringe. What the fuck is he doing telling people I am his girl?

I hate the thought that we're going to have a conversation tonight that he isn't going to like.

Maybe I'm sending him mixed signals. I came for the attention.

For the moment, to feel like a girl again, to do something outside of my comfort zone.

But am I sending him the wrong message by showing up tonight ?

I'll be honest, I don't know what I want.

He's absolutely attractive in that MC MMC ruggedly handsome but secretly sweet way.

But I need to set things straight with him.

We can flirt and make out a bit, but it can't go any further than that.

Or, that if it does, he knows it's just for fun.

A temporary fling with a book boyfriend lookalike. I'm sure he'd be okay with that.

Leana, however, giggles. I roll my eyes. That is, until the guard finishes. "Wouldn't have pegged you for Diesel's type, but whatever," he says with a lazy shrug.

The fuck?

I smack her thigh with the back of my hand while the proby opens the gate for us. "You're goth, you're not supposed to giggle."

She gasps in mock offense. "I'm not goth! I'm retro-biker-chic."

I smile. I appreciate that I can never offend her.

"Whatever. Just drive."

We park in the grass next to a handful of other cars in the makeshift parking lot.

The "clubhouse" is an old brick school with three stories, and a few of the windows have cracks in them.

There must be a hundred vehicles here, between cars, trucks, and motorcycles. I imagine Diesel driving a bike, and it makes me smile.

We get out and look out at the huge side yard, full of benches, picnic tables, and folding chairs.

Music's playing loudly, and people mingle, already drinking.

A fire pit surrounded by a low wall of bricks throws embers into the air.

I blanch at the sheer number of people, but Leana bounces on her toes with excitement.

I reach into the back seat and pull the bottle of whiskey we bought for Diesel out from the back .

"Ugh, how are we going to find him with so many people?" I'm dragging my feet. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We don't know these people. We don't know if we can trust them. Leana doesn't suffer from my insecurities, so she wraps her arm through my elbow and tugs me towards the party.

It doesn't take me long to spot Scar, surrounded by a throng of people. I tug Leanna towards him, hoping he can point us in the direction of Diesel so we can make a quick getaway.

Scar's taller than the men around him, so he spots us as we approach.

"Liberty! There you are!" The throng of men clad in black leather and jeans spins to stare at us and parts so Scar can get to us. Half a dozen sets of eyes take us in, judging, wondering who the hell we are.

I blanche as they part, making room for us to get to Scar. He wraps me in a tight bear hug, lifting my feet off the ground. I grunt at the impact but can't help the laughter that peels out of me.

When he sets me back on the ground, I'm sure I'm blushing.

"Liberty?"

"Yeah. Library-Barbie. Li-barbie. Liberty."

"A club name?" I ask, incredulously.

He sets a warm, rough hand on my shoulder and smiles through his beard. "Yeah, I figured if you were Diesel's girl, you'd get a club name anyway. And I heard one of the guys in the shop call you Library Barbie."

I wince. Yeah, Diesel and I need to have that talk.

Being given a club name is an incredible honor.

It means you've been accepted; that you're one of them and that you belong.

He's acting like I'm Diesel's old lady already when we've only met once.

It means the club trusts me and will offer me their protection if I need it.

It makes me one of them. It's a scary honor.

"Scar, this is my friend Leana." Leana offers him a hand, and they shake - an oddly formal moment surrounded by a bike gang.