Page 52 of Courting the Dragon Prince (A Royal Arrangement #1)

Chapter Fifty-Two

“I ’m sorry, Onyx.” Luther repeated the words, but he heard them as if from far away. His ears rang. The world around Luther felt dizzy and light-headed.

Luther’s own memories rushed forward, his own painful past rearing inside his head. His recollections mingled with the memories Onyx shared.

Luther tried to make sense of it all, tried to fit their pasts together. It felt like Onyx’s pain poured on top of Luther’s. But they couldn’t mix. Like oil and water, their pain, their memories—they were incompatible. They were opposing forces that could not meld and make peace.

Just like Onyx and Luther themselves.

From the start, they had been enemies. They’d tried to pretend they could move forward from that and be happy together. But they could not erase the violence of their shared past.

No matter how much Luther and Onyx might wish for it.

“I’m so sorry,” Luther babbled.

“No.” Onyx kept shaking his head.

“But I was there,” Luther said.

“Don’t say that. Stop saying that!” Onyx yelled as if the force of his words could make them true.

Luther didn’t recall the name of the mountain temple. And there’d been so many battles. So many destroyed temples. So many lives lost.

He’d never known when Onyx’s sister had died or the circumstances. Although, with a sinking realisation, Luther realised he had. He’d just forgotten. And now he knew why.

Because the day Onyx’s sister had died was the worst day of Luther’s life, and he’d been too consumed by that to properly register anything else. Everything else had just faded into the background as unimportant. It seemed the worst day of Luther’s life was probably also the worst day of Onyx’s.

Onyx’s face twisted into a sneer.

Luther flinched. He remembered that expression. It hadn’t been directed at him recently. Now it cut to the core of Luther’s very soul.

Because Luther cared for Onyx now. Maybe even loved him.

Luther couldn’t bear for Onyx to hate him again.

“Onyx. Please.” Desperately, Luther reached for Onyx as if he could bridge the chasm that had exploded between them.

Onyx snapped his arm back. “How were you there?” Onyx demanded. “What did you do?”

“It’s all a blur,” Luther stammered.

“A blur?” Onyx shouted. “My sister’s death is a blur!” His voice rang through the temple. Agony and rage passed over Onyx’s face.

Luther shook his head. For once, he tried to recall the memories he always tried to suppress.

“Luther! Where the fuck have you been?” Battle Commander Alleron had stridden towards him. “The rest of the divisions in your battalion have already left for the mission,” she snapped. “All except yours.”

Luther shook his head again as if that would clear his mind. “I’d snuck off to fool around with someone. It was our day off, but …”

“Change of plans,” the battle commander said.

Luther rubbed at his forehead as wave after wave of memories smashed into him. Overwhelming him. Drowning him. He couldn’t breathe! Luther grabbed at his throat as his vision blurred.

The battle commander had briefed Luther as they strode towards his division.

Luther closed his eyes, digging his fingernails into his eyelids. “We received new information. Most of the earth elementals who defended one of the temples had left.”

A strangled noise escaped Onyx.

“So we launched a surprise attack.” Luther’s hands fell. “The others in my battalion had gone ahead. My division was left behind because I wasn’t there. People I knew, my friends, Barrett, they were already fighting. Already risking their lives. And we were behind.” Luther’s hands shook.

“I shouldn’t have been getting my dick sucked even though it was our day off.” The regret knotted Luther’s belly. “I should have been there, ready in case we were needed. I should have been ready to fight by their side.”

Luther looked at Onyx. Anger and torment swirled in the dark depths of Onyx’s eyes. Luther dropped his gaze to the ground.

Luther had stridden towards his division. They’d stood, ready and awaiting his orders.

“We took the tunnels to make up time.” Luther let out a harsh laugh. “But we weren’t meant to use the tunnels.” He shook his head. More laughter, bitter and broken, cascaded from Luther’s lips.

“I didn’t know that. My younger cousin mentioned it. But Errol didn’t know why we weren’t meant to use them, and he’d thought he’d misheard.” Luther squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck! He was so young. Just eighteen. So fucking young. And he was put in my division and under my care. He was so proud to be fighting alongside me.”

Luther tilted his head back, trying to draw air into his gasping lungs. His head swam as he stared up at the sky. Tears stung his eyes. “I should have found out why we weren’t meant to use the tunnels instead of rushing off. But we were already behind. I didn’t want to let the others down.” He laughed and laughed. “I didn’t want anyone to die because of me.”

We’ll go through the tunnels. His own voice echoed in his ears.

“I wanted to make up time. So I made a decision to use the tunnels. I wanted …” Luther stammered as the tears flowed down his cheeks. “I didn’t know …”

Luther closed his eyes, visions of the past flickering before them.

They’d been flying. They’d entered the tunnels.

Luther flew at the front, leading his division. They flew fast, desperate to join the rest of the battalion and their comrades in battle. Luther kept a sharp eye out as they flew. He could see no problems. They had almost reached the other side of the tunnel. Luther began to take a breath.

A crack echoed above.

Luther turned back just in time to see the roof crumble and cave in. The rocks cascaded down and smashed into Errol’s back. Errol roared in pain. His wings flapped furtively. He didn’t stand a chance.

His wings went limp as the rocks drove him down and crushed him against the ground. More rocks fell, burying him completely.

Buried and dead.

Cracks started all around them. Luther dove and swerved, narrowly missing the falling rocks. He couldn’t even see the earth elementals, but he could see what they were doing. He flapped his wings desperately, constantly looking around at his soldiers.

One by one, rocks fell onto them. The sound of the beating of their wings cut off in an instant, and the rocks fell. Only Luther remained from his division.

Luther had emerged from the tunnels into the sky and seen the rest of his battalion and the temple.

“They all died except for me,” Luther whispered, voice shaking. “They all died following my orders.” Luther’s heavy, uneven breathing filled the air as he finished his confession.

“We’d realised that you’d been using our own tunnels to attack and kill us and destroy our temples,” Onyx said.

Luther’s eyes snapped open, Onyx’s voice yanking him from the past to the here and now.

“So we started stationing earth elementals in the tunnels in case you used them,” Onyx said, voice hard and unflinching. “Then we crushed you.” His gaze matched his tone. “Then we buried you.”