Page 20 of Courting the Dragon Prince (A Royal Arrangement #1)

Chapter Twenty

L uther snapped his wings.

Fuck Onyx Obsidian! Fuck him and his fucking arrogant bullshit face.

Luther flew onwards, getting further and further away from the village and the giant arsehole he was going to marry.

What had Luther been thinking, offering himself to Onyx like that?

Luther should have known better. The man was a giant prick. Onyx had made it clear that he regretted touching Luther earlier in the day. He’d called it a mistake. He’d tried to take it back.

And yet Luther had thrown himself at the earth elemental like a fool!

No doubt the man had prepared himself for bedding Luther on their wedding night. After all, it was his duty. And all Onyx cared about was his bloody duty.

But beyond that, he didn’t want to degrade himself and touch Luther.

“I really need a wash.”

Onyx’s words slapped Luther in the face.

Luther flapped his wings faster, eager to return to the monastery.

It shouldn’t have hurt. He shouldn’t feel rejected.

But they’d been getting along so well. Onyx had even complimented him. Several times. He had commended Luther after their victory over the giant snails. He’d seemed impressed with Luther’s abilities and quick thinking.

Then, in the inn, he’d smiled at Luther and treated him like an equal. He’d treated Luther like something other than some shit he’d trodden in that he desperately wanted to scrape off the bottom of his boot.

And for some reason, thinking he had earned the respect of a competent warrior like Onyx had meant something to Luther. It had made Luther feel like he wasn’t such a complete fuck-up. Like he wasn’t such a mess. Like he wasn’t a failure.

Warmed by the ale in his belly, the atmosphere of the cosy inn, and Onyx’s smile, Luther had thought how nice it would be to go upstairs and repeat their earlier activities.

He’d gotten lost in the fantasy of drawing more sounds of pleasure from Onyx, of taking his time to explore that muscular body, and then afterwards not having Onyx immediately regret it. Regret him.

But no. Onyx might have warmed to him somewhat. But he still thought himself too good for Luther.

Onyx wanted to keep his distance from Luther, who was so beneath him. He’d do his duty. Always his fucking duty! But that was it. He didn’t want Luther.

Luther huffed. Because that wasn’t true. Onyx did want him. Luther knew it. He could see the desire simmering in Onyx’s eyes in the lingering glances he cast Luther’s way.

Onyx wanted Luther. He just didn’t want to want him. He was disgusted with himself for desiring someone like Luther.

Well, fuck that rock-eating dickhead! Fuck him for thinking himself so much better than Luther. Fuck him for feeling like touching Luther would be demeaning himself.

It rankled. It made Luther’s blood boil and steam in his veins.

But that was fine with Luther. He didn’t need Onyx.

And honestly, Luther would just return to hating Onyx. He’d go back to the insults and barbs and constant resentment. Luther was much more familiar with hating Onyx than getting along with him, anyway.

The White Monastery appeared in the distance. Determined not to give another fuck about Onyx, he flew over the city and towards the upper monastery. He circled, flew low, and prepared to land.

A few minutes later, he strode through the corridors of the rooms that had been provided for his family. A few servants still stood on duty despite the hour. Luther paused.

“Can you send to the kitchens for some food? Just whatever they have on hand. And have a bath drawn in my room, please,” Luther said to one of the servants.

“Of course, Your Highness.” The servant bowed low and walked off to fulfil Luther’s orders.

Luther was about to head to his room when voices from the library drew him in.

Senta and Gerard sat on plush chairs, speaking to each other over goblets of wine. They paused when they saw him.

“You’re back. And you look terrible!” Gerard rose and walked over to an ornately carved side table. “Wine? How was the quest?” He grabbed a goblet, filled it, and handed it to Luther before returning to his chair.

“How were the giant snails?” Senta laughed. “Were they disgusting?”

Luther smiled, forcing the bad mood away. He laughed and dropped in a chair opposite them. “Very disgusting. I will never forget the putrid stench.” He took a deep gulp of wine and sighed.

Senta barked a laugh, and Gerard chuckled.

Luther leaned his head against the back of the chair, staring at the ceiling. Then he remembered his conversation with Onyx. “Did you know the giant snails were dangerous?”

“What do you mean?” Senta frowned.

“Well, we were in the cave. Then the snails were suddenly there. A lot of them, shooting acidic goo at us. I lost a boot! It disintegrated. I’d probably have lost a lot more if one of them hit me directly,” Luther mused.

Gerard and Senta shared a look. They both leaned towards him.

“You mean they were properly dangerous?” Gerard pressed. “Not just repulsive.”

“We managed it, of course.” Luther slid his finger along the metal stem of the goblet. “But yes. They could kill someone quite easily, I imagine.”

Senta shook her head. “We thought it amusing, you fighting giant snails. But we didn’t think that they might actually hurt you.”

“The White Monastery had received word about giant snails destroying crops and bothering the villagers. There’d been no mention of injuries or anything dangerous about them,” Gerard said. “We never actually saw them ourselves.”

Gerard glanced at Senta. “Warden Flint went to the location and set up the key in the cave. But from his report, he never actually interacted with or saw the snails.” He paused, frowning. “Perhaps we should have also gone to assess the situation.”

Luther waved a hand. “Nothing to fret over. We completed the task, and no one died or was even injured.” Luther smiled. “But it was a hell of a battle.” He took a slow sip of his wine, watching his siblings.

Their eyes glinted. Luther swirled his wine, waiting.

“Well! Are you going to actually tell us about it?” Senta asked with obvious eagerness. “Or are you just going to sit there drinking wine and leaving us in suspense?”

Luther laughed. He sat forward and launched once again into a retelling of their battle, his siblings hanging off his every word.

Gerard shook his head as Luther finished. “Bloody oath. That’s a hell of a fight.”

Senta nodded. “I’m jealous I wasn’t there! I wonder if there are more nests of giant snails around.”

Gerard’s lips quirked. “We can go searching and find out.”

Senta smiled, a playful glint in her eyes. “It sounds like you and Onyx worked together quite well. Is he back in his room resting after your skirmish with the snails?”

Luther’s smile died. “He is back at the inn.”

Their eyebrows rose.

“You left him?” Gerard asked.

Luther blew out a breath. “We have finished the quest.” He shrugged and tried to laugh. “And he was being so obnoxious and self-righteous. I couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. So I left.” He could hear the defensiveness in his voice.

Senta reached out and placed a hand on Luther’s knee. She gave it a shake. “Luther, you really should try and get along with him better. For Draconia.”

“I was trying to get along with him!” Luther snapped, yanking his knee from her grip. He’d been nice that morning. And that night!

She sat back, her gaze disbelieving. “Then why are you here and he isn’t?”

Luther glanced between his siblings, annoyance rising inside him. Why did everyone always think so little of him? Why was everything always his fault?

He’d been trying. Truly, he had!

Luther jumped to his feet and paced to the bookshelf, staring at the leather-bound books. “I know you don’t think I give a shit about my responsibilities. I know he doesn’t either.” Luther’s voice turned bitter. “But I am marrying him as I was told to do. As is my duty.”

Luther’s fingers tightened on his goblet. “I might not be as responsible as both of you, or as him. But I always do what is required of me. I follow Father’s orders. I fought in the war. I led others into battle.” He could hear the tremor in his voice.

Luther closed his eyes. “I am trying … I am … doing my best.”

Why isn’t that ever enough?

Maybe because he wasn’t. Maybe Luther just wasn’t enough, so no matter how hard he tried, he would always fall short.

I am not enough. Everything I do is not enough.

Perhaps Onyx saw that too. Perhaps everyone did. Perhaps they all saw beneath the bluster and bullshit to the truth. Which was that Luther was a complete and utter fuck-up. A total failure. A broken mess.

And I always will be.

For a split second, he could hear the beating of wings. Then the sound of rock cracking.

He opened his eyes. The lettering on the spines of the books blurred in front of him.

Gathering himself, he turned and faced his siblings. He pasted a smile on his lips. “Sorry for that.” He gave a light laugh. “It’s been a long and exhausting day, and I am overly emotional.” He laughed again and drank the rest of his wine. “I clearly need to retire before I give myself over to more dramatics.”

“Luther,” Senta began.

Luther had no idea what she was going to say. But he didn’t want to hear. He needed to get out of here before he fell apart. He waved a dismissive hand and set the goblet down on the sideboard.

“Anyway, I need to wash the snail from my hair, eat, and rest.” His gaze skittered over his siblings, too fast to actually see their expressions. He walked towards the door. “Good night.”

“Stay. We’re sorry. You did well today,” Senta said.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Luther didn’t glance back as he exited.

“Luther,” Gerard said. “Wait.”

“I really can’t. I’m very tired and hungry.” Luther didn’t stop walking. He kept his gaze firmly ahead as he made his way to his room.

He spared a thought for Onyx in the inn. He hoped Onyx’s washing water was filthy and icy cold and his bed lumpy and infested with bedbugs.

Because then maybe he’d sleep as poorly as Luther would tonight.