Page 35

CHAPTER 34

W e have nowhere else to go. I don’t want to go back yet, and I can’t move forward. I’m almost listless, so when Fang steps up and we find ourselves in a hotel room, I’m almost thankful, but I will admit I’m in a bad fucking mood.

I hear them whispering, but I focus on cleaning the blade in my hand, trying to relax with the rhythmic movements, but if anything, it’s only making it worse.

I hear one of them yelp, and my head jerks up as Ronan is pushed before me. “Hey there—” he starts, but I throw the knife. It soars right through him as he shouts and hides behind Fang, who sighs.

“You go as our ambassador,” he hisses. “She scares me.”

“So you want her to scare me?” Fang grouses as I pick up my next knife and start to clean it.

“You’re a brave succubus. Seduce her into being happy or something.” Ronan pushes her forward, and Fang mutters insults but stomps over and kneels before me so I have no choice but to look at her.

“Tate,” she murmurs softly. “It’s over. They are gone. You said so yourself.”

“I didn’t get to kill them,” I mutter. That’s what keeps echoing in my head. “I didn’t get to make them pay.”

“But they are dead, and that’s what matters, right? Not who delivered their deaths, but that they cannot be around to cause any more,” she reasons.

I don’t want that. I know she’s right, but I feel . . . slighted .

“You got your revenge,” I mutter, and she flinches. “I didn’t get mine. I suffered, and I almost died. For what? It was all for nothing. Everything I have done to get here was for nothing.” I pull my hands away when she reaches for me. “We were all for nothing.”

I see pain bloom in her eyes, and I regret the words as soon as I speak them, but I cannot take them back. I used my words like a weapon, and I will deal with the consequences.

“Alright, enough fucking moping,” she snaps, changing tactics, and my eyes widen at her harsh tone. “They are dead. Get the fuck over it and put your big-girl panties on. This was not all for nothing. We were brought together for a reason. Maybe it isn’t the one you want, but that doesn’t matter. You don’t always get what you want in life, Tate. You are better than this. Do not let them ruin another minute of your life.”

She snaps her mouth shut as we stare at each other, and before I realise it, my blade is at her throat. She doesn’t react other than a slight widening of her eyes. She digs her chin into the blade until she bleeds.

“Go ahead, punish me if it will make you feel better. I owe you my life, so it’s yours to take.” Her voice is silky. “If this is what you need, then take it.”

I stare into her eyes that were filled with pleasure a day ago and see a desperate sort of fear.

For me or of me?

I’m not sure, and I hate that I put it there.

I don’t want that either. It’s not her fault he’s dead. Removing the blade, I stand before I take my frustration out on her. She shouldn’t have to deal with my bad mood, none of them should. They’ve all suffered at the hands of men and the blades of hunters. I will not add to that.

I will be better than the other hunters

I will be better than men.

Fang especially has suffered at the hands of men for years. I will not add to her list. I recognise her willingness to be whatever I need her to be right now, but I will not.

I drop the blade and move past her. I’m not good to be around right now, and they all deserve better.

“Oh, good job, Fang,” Ronan mutters as he shoots her a thumbs up. The others struggle to copy the gesture, not used to it, and I roll my eyes and slam the door shut behind me before opening it to give them an order.

“Stay inside,” I snap, still worried about them. I don’t want them wandering about and getting killed by a rogue hunter.

Taking a deep breath, I wander down the second storey of the hotel. The rooms face the woods, and I lean over the railing at the very end, but I still feel trapped.

Catching the edge of the roof, I haul myself up and lie back, staring up at the stars.

I don’t expect anyone to come after me, not with the mood I’m in, so when someone lies down next to me, I startle. He’s the last person I would expect, but the fae stares at me from inches away.

“It’s okay to be angry, to want to be the one who ended their miserable existences. It was stolen from you. I understand,” he says, and I blink, unsure what to say. “My name is Zeev.”

I jerk as the name wraps around me with power and purpose.

A fae’s name gives you power over them. It’s an offering, a way to tell you they trust you.

“Zeev,” I whisper. He shuffles next to me, his eyes tightening as I roll it over my tongue. “Why are you telling me?”

“You have earned it,” he answers as he stares up at the stars, but I still look at him, so he turns his head and meets my gaze again. “I have been around a very long time. I have known great leaders able to kill with a thought, but I have never met anyone else with convictions as strong as yours, Tate Havelock. You have the determination to survive, but not at the price of your soul. You have resilience and strength I admire, but it is your soul I crave. You freed me when no other could, and you saved all of those in that room without asking for anything in return. You are a true warrior. You were born to wield the blade, and I would like to be at your side as you do so.”

“The fae offer no loyalty to anyone but their own kind,” I whisper, reciting what I know.

“We offer loyalty to those we choose to, those who earn it,” he retorts.

“Your sister?—”

“Is a queen. My place was never at her side. I never fit into that world because I was never strong enough to resist the darkness, but at your side, I can. It is purely a selfish reason, so do not read anything into it.” He turns away, but there’s a smile dancing on his perfect lips.

“Selfish, huh?” I ask as I look at the sky, but it’s working. He’s distracting me from my bad mood.

“Yes, no other reason.” His smile grows, and I cannot contain mine. I never expected a truce between us, and I don’t particularly like Zeev, but I can’t deny there is a connection between us that is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. There are no lies or illusions, and we are our worst selves when we are around each other.

We are each other’s worst half, and when we are together, they only seem to explode.

There is a feral kind of need between us, the kind that reaches past love. It’s so strong, we cannot resist. I still hate him, but it doesn’t change that.

Maybe that’s why I feel like I can be myself, because he will never judge me. He will never be disgusted. He understands. He lives in the darkness with the part of me I hide.

His monster is the same as my own.

“Zeev,” I whisper. I don’t know what he hears in my voice, but he sits up, watching me. “Fuck me.”

He blinks once, and then he snarls and rolls above me, slamming my hands to the roof above my head. We both know if I wanted to, I could break free, but I relax beneath him, needing this. He searches my face and must see that because he leans down. I close my eyes, expecting his kiss, but his lips brush over my cheek at the last second, making me flinch.

“You wouldn’t use her, but you will use me, hunter. I like pain. I like it to hurt . . . . I want you to rip me apart and feast on my flesh, desire, and blood. That is where we are different. I will offer you this—no deal or lies between us, just shared need. Use me, Tate Havelock. Take your revenge out on me.”

He leans back, straddling my thighs, a smirk playing on his lips.

“You want to fuck me? Then do it,” he taunts. “Unless you’re scared? All talk?”

Sitting up, I search his eyes, but all I see is a cold sort of patience. He’s curious about what I will do. Most would be afraid to dare a hunter, but not him. He fears nothing, and maybe it’s that or the fact that I can’t hold back my hatred anymore.

Wrapping my legs around him, I flip us so he’s below me. I draw my dagger and run it across his perfect face. He leans into it without a flinch, his smirk only growing, and when I rub the metal across his lips, his tongue darts out and wraps around the sharp end, cutting him. Tugging it away, I lean down and kiss him hard and fast.

We both groan, our tongues tangling.

I break the kiss, both of us panting. The darkness spilled out of me at the first taste of his blood. I’m a hunter, so it’s my job to protect innocents, but he is not innocent, and neither am I.

I slam the dagger into his chest, burying it deep, and then my eyes widen as I still, my hands falling away as it protrudes from his chest, blood pooling around the wound.

He gasps and closes his eyes, and for a moment, horror fills me at what I’ve done . . . at what I have become. His eyes suddenly snap open, on fire with desire.

“That’s the best you have? I’m an immortal fae, a god in your world, and you think this will hurt me?” He wraps his hand around the hilt and slowly pulls it out, groaning the entire time.

The sound isn’t born from pain. It’s from desire, and my fear is swallowed by my darkness.

There’s an understanding in the darkness, an acceptance of who I am, allowing me to release my feelings across his perfect skin.

He lifts the dagger to my mouth, and without hesitation, I sweep my tongue down the sharp edge, tasting his blood and surrender. He watches me hungrily before he licks the blade too, tasting his blood now mixed with mine before he flips it and offers it to me, cutting his palm.

I know if I take the blade again, I’m accepting this and who I am deep inside.

Wrapping my hand around the dagger, I take it.

“Do your worst, huntress. I can take it.” He stretches his arms above his head like an offering, his lips stained with our blood.

I am not Black, and this is a willing partner. I might enjoy hurting him, but he does as well.

We are different, and Black is dead.

Anger fills me once more, and Zeev only encourages it. I slice out, tearing up his skin with the blade. I keep slicing, my vision completely red. All of my anger and hatred slip free until I just carve him up.

He laughs, even as blood splatters us all, and it’s only when my arm grows tired and heavy that I stop and look at the mess below me. One of his eyes is almost gone, and his chest is a mess of slashes, more ruined meat than person. For a moment, horror fills me, as does panic, but as I watch, the cuts start to heal, and then his face is perfect once more.

“I’m still waiting. Impress me,” he taunts, licking his lips.

My chest heaves, my anger still riding me, and his taunts don’t help that. I know he’s pushing me over the edge of sanity for a reason, but I give over to it. I stab the blade into his chest again, even as he reaches down and presses his cock to my entrance. He holds my gaze, and when I pull the blade free, he slides into me with the same rhythm.

I stretch around his ice-cold cock. I try to lift off him, but he drives me back down and holds me there as pleasure rolls through me, mixing with my fury and helplessness. I slam the blade into him again, and he pulls out. When I free the blade, he slams back into me, and I get it, so I drive it into him faster, and he keeps up as blood covers us both.

His icy length hits spots inside me that change the pain to pure ecstasy, and I stab him just to get him to move faster. Each feral thrust drives me higher so nothing else matters.

I’m free of all this . . . human entanglement.

I slice through his throat and freeze, panicking for a moment. He laughs around it, the sound horrid, then plucks it free, and my eyes widen.

Flipping us, he slams the dagger into the roof next to my head, and then he pushes my head to the left and bites my neck until I feel blood. I swallow my screams of agony, even as I lift my hips to meet his thrusts. The stars sparkle above me as my nails slice his back, cutting it to ribbons before digging into his flexing ass. He releases my neck, my blood dripping down his chin to my skin below. His blond hair is unbound and flowing in the wind, and his eyes are bright.

He’s so beautiful, it hurts as he drives into me, his ice-cold length spearing me over and over.

“Zeev!” His name slips free, and it only seems to urge him on. His cock warms inside me, no longer painful but still rock-hard and huge, and I love it.

I lift my body, using his as he uses mine, and when his lips meet mine, I taste our blood. Our hearts hammer in sync, our bodies slick with blood and desire, and then it all becomes too much.

I rip my head away as ecstasy ripples through me, stealing the sight of him, which I hate. My muscles lock up, my legs jerking as I come so hard he groans.

When my vision clears, I find the stars shining brightly.

“Don’t look at the stars, mortal, for I am much more beautiful and powerful,” he warns as he rises above me, lifting my hips into the air and driving into me from a new angle. He fucks me through the aftershocks and right into another orgasm, and he still doesn’t stop. His cock is so warm now, it’s like a hot poker.

“Zeev, please.” I don’t know what I’m asking for, but it doesn’t matter. The prince turns wild as he takes my body brutally, and when he leans down and kisses me once more, I tip over the edge again, coming around his length.

He grunts into my mouth, his cock jerking inside me, and scalding hot cum splashes deep within my channel, making me whine. He swallows that noise, our messy kiss turning slow and languid as he falls into the cradle of my thighs. We break apart, both of us panting, and for once the fae looks affected.

His heaving chest is covered in blood, and even his hair is stained at the tips, but it’s the look in his eyes—possessive.

“My mortal,” he growls as his hand slides around my throat, and he jerks me up to kiss me again. “No matter what, you are my mortal, and I am your Zeev. Only yours. No matter what this world hands you, I will be at your side to lessen the burden and fight with you. Never doubt that.”

His words unlock something inside me, and despite the strange bond between us, I wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his chest. He sighs, and I expect him to push me away, but he awkwardly pats my back before stroking it.