Page 16 of Cost of Courting (When it Raines Omegaverse #6)

Chapter fourteen

Selene

I stand under the tree, watching the dark park. I’m not expecting trouble. I just want a few minutes alone. The night is cooler than I expected. The wind has me curling into my hoodie.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

They have taken over and are protecting the neighbourhood, and they are doing it easier and better than I could ever hope to. Am I useless now? Is this where I slink away into the night and leave them to it?

Admit that I am lost without this purpose. What else do I have?

I lean against the tree trunk and look down at my boots. I love these boots. They’ve stood me well for years, but maybe it’s time I wear something else.

Becoming aware of him approaching is gradual. By the time I turn my head to look at him, he’s right beside me.

We’re silent for several minutes.

“It’s easier to admit to things in the dark.”

“Got some confessions you want me to hear, Mael?”

He surprises me by taking my hand, dragging me off the tree and into a walk.

“Yeah, I have.”

I stare at the side of his face, puzzled by his strange behaviour.

“We made a mistake. It didn’t take long before we realised it, but that one choice ruined everything. We’re sorry. I am sorry.”

“Why didn’t you listen to me? That’s the part that drove me insane. Why did you refuse to hear me out? ”

Mael grunts. “It was easier to believe the lie.”

We don’t talk, but I’m acutely aware of his fingers holding mine apart, his palm against mine. Our shoulders brush occasionally, and it’s just him and me, walking in the dark like we have a million times before, except he’s never held my hand like this before.

“I’m still the same person,” I grumble. “You don’t need to hold my hand.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

I hesitate, and the lie won’t come. So I turn evasive instead. “Why are you doing it?”

Mael strokes his thumb down mine, and the butterflies take flight. I stumble, but he’s there, keeping me upright.

“I’m doing it because I want to keep you with me, and I want to feel your strength. But, mostly, I’m doing it because I want to.”

He turns suddenly, and I find myself face-to-face with him, staring into his fathomless eyes. Mael is so beautiful, stark, all angles. People find him frightening, but I don’t. He’s always been mine.

“We were blind. Forgive me.”

I open my mouth to deny him, to hang onto the familiar rage that has been holding me down all these years, but it’s not there. All I can feel is pain.

Mael leans closer and ducks his head, stopping just short of my lips.

For three very long seconds, I resist, letting him wait, trying to find a reason not to, but the truth is I've dreamed of this, fantasised over this, I want it.

I close the distance, brushing my lips against his. I groan and wrap my free hand around his neck, pulling and holding him closer. My fingers tangle in the soft silk of his hair. He tastes sweet and cool.

When he kisses me back, I get this disorientating twist of déjà vu. But I don’t stop because this isn’t real. It’s just a dream, a familiar dream. I will wake up alone because there’s no way that Mael Morrow is kissing me. Not in real life.

Without letting go of our joined hands, he grips my hip and pulls me closer. I bump into him, tilting my head back to change the angle. His tongue sweeps in, and now I can taste him. He’s invading my senses, wrapping himself intrinsically around me in a way I’m never going to be free of.

He eases the kiss, and then finally breaks away. We’re both left panting. I slide my fingers free of his hair and brace my hand on his chest, trying to put a slither of space between us.

But even this doesn’t feel real.

“You’re not going to stay. ”

He doesn’t answer me, but then, in my dreams, he never does. I pull free of him and turn back to the shadows, but his hand is still gripping mine. Instead of pulling me back or stopping me, he falls into step just behind me.

“How do you know?”

It takes a moment to realise that he is answering my question.

“Because this isn’t real. You’re not here. You’ll be gone when I wake up, and I will have to go back to dealing with it all, wishing I didn’t remember how damn much I miss you.”

My lips still tingle. Do lips tingle in a dream?

It has to be because, in all the years of longing, it’s only ever in my imagination that he kisses me.

I turn back, and I’m caught again by the way his hair hangs, the soft way he’s watching me. It’s familiar, this expression. Why do I have to continuously see them? Why can’t I forget them?

“You should have called.”

His words take a minute before I hear them. “Called? You didn’t listen to me. The last conversation we had, you said to me was that you had to follow your heart, and I would understand one day. Why on Earth would you think I would call you?”

He’s totally still for a long moment and then he sags. “Because you were in trouble, because no matter what happens in our life, we always would have come back to help you. You know this.”

“Do I, though?” I murmur and tug my hand free, walking away. “Besides, the pain of having you here would have been worse than all the beatings combined.”

His arms encircle me, one hand sliding up between my breasts to cup my throat. The other pressing against that spot just between my hip bones, dangerously close to where I ache for them.

“What are you doing?” I say it loudly, unable to hide the alarm in my voice.

“This isn’t a dream. We came back, and we’re sorry.”

I seethe. “You think that makes it all okay? I should just let it all go and forgive your asses? You left me, Mael. And you never came back, you didn’t contact me, you didn’t even-”

“We called, we came back, we rang Luna and spoke to her all the time. You were so angry, everyone said to give you more time.”

He moves closer so he’s pressed against me, his breath hot on my ear.

“Selene, we never forgot about you. We were always coming back.”

I growl. I know he feels it because his fingers tighten around my throat. What he can’t feel is the way my poor, shrivelled, dead heart flops in my chest at his words.

“I don’t want to be discarded again. ”

“You won’t be,” he murmurs.

My heart leaps towards him, longing to believe.

“We won’t discard you, we won’t abandon you, we won’t leave you, Sel.”

His palm slides up, tilting my chin back so my head is resting on his shoulder.

Mael’s other hand, the one not on my throat, presses against me, just under my belly button, before sliding just a fraction lower.

“You are so beautiful.”

“You didn’t think so before.”

“We always thought so before,” Mael whispers. “We always saw you, Selene. Always.”

I open my eyes and stare at the dark canopy of leaves moving in the slight breeze. All these words I longed to hear.

“If you saw…” I rip free of him, ignoring the way my heart rips with it, “If you actually, truly saw me, you never would have left with her.”

Mael hisses, but I ignore him, stalking away. I’m grateful for their help. So is the neighbourhood, but I don’t need them, and I don’t want them.

Bailey is sitting on my bed reading a magazine when I get home. I kick off my boots and strip out of my clothes.

“Are you going to ignore me forever?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I say and pull on a singlet. “Does Luna know that you’re here?”

Bailey stills. “No. You know it wasn’t serious between us. We barely dated. We only kissed once-”

I hold my hand up, the sharp pain of betrayal once again slamming into me, leaving me wondering if I should stab him or fuck him.

“I don’t want to hear about what you did with my sister.”

Bailey sits up, and his damn eyes glitter at me. “You’re jealous.”

“I’m not,” I refute hotly. “I just don’t want any damn nightmares.” With a frustrated grumble, I flick the light switch off. I’ve got used to these bed invaders, and if I want sleep, the easiest thing to do is just accept they are here.

Bailey grins. “You dream about me?”

I pause with one knee on the bed. “I do not. Can you leave?”

“Hmm, no. I’ve got nowhere to sleep tonight, so I thought I might stay here with you.”

I let out a growl, but I’m too tired to argue with him, so I punch my pillow and flop down with my back to him.

“You were with Mael tonight.”

“Want to sit up and talk about it? We can braid each other’s hair and giggle?”

Bailey snorts a laugh and lays down, shifting until he’s laying on his side right behind me, not touching but close enough for me to be painfully aware of him.

“Whilst that would be fun, I just wondered if you were okay?”

I blink in the dark. Am I okay? No, not even a little bit. Will I ever admit to it?

No.

“Things are complicated between you and them, I get it.”

“Says you.”

“Yeah, it’s complicated between me and them, too.”

He suddenly moulds his whole body to mine, throwing an arm over my side and up across my chest, then he grips my shoulder. I want to hate it, but there is something so safe and comfortable about laying in his embrace.

“Don’t you have to be looking after this big, massive business you inherited?”

“You’ve been dying to ask me about that, haven’t you?”

I can almost hear him smiling.

I roll my eyes. “Answer or don’t answer. I don’t care.”

“After they made me top dog, I discovered that the years of systemic abuse at the hands of the Raines was not going to be forgotten, so I did what any self-respecting guy would do, I set up a board to oversee the management of Raines Entertainment, and I am now the very hands-off boss who allows the company to run themselves from the inside out.”

“Isn’t that what companies do, anyway?”

“Possibly. I don’t know. I just chose thirteen individuals from all the departments and stepped back.

They send me reports and keep me updated.

But the hate for our family couldn’t be iced over.

” He pauses. “Also, there were rumours I was an omega, and, apparently, that was a little too weird for anyone to cope with. Who knew it would be an issue?”

“So, what do you do now?”

“What do I do? Well, I do different things, but I guess, at the moment, I’m pretty aimless. Hiding the fact that I’m a freak who is an alpha or omega randomly has been top of my priorities. But so is riding my bike, having fun-”

“Fucking my sister?”

“I never had sex with her,” Bailey says with a chuckle and tightens his arm. “I knew you were jealous.”

“I am not jealous.”

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not. ”

“Hey, Selene.”

I draw it out, not wanting to give in. I like the warmth of him against me. “What?”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

I let out a long, suffering sigh.

He squeezes me a little tighter. I should make him leave. I will, in just a minute.