Page 43

"Doubtful," I say, just because it's fun to needle Valmir.

He's been annoying me for days now and it's nice to hear another giving him trouble.

Snow gets flung my way, too, but I don't mind it.

I am relaxing, bit by bit. "So tell me about living on this beach.

What am I to expect? How can I prove myself as a warrior if there are no competitions? "

Thrand gets to his feet and scoops a bit of the tea into a bone cup, skimming the leaves off the top with a finger and flinging them into the fire.

"You won't miss them. There is very little time to do anything like that.

I remember when I was a fighter, waiting weeks between bouts, doing nothing but training and practicing over and over again for a brief moment of glory.

It was monotonous, and that moment was over too soon every time. "

"And now your very brief moment of glory comes between the furs when you claim your mate, eh? Has she complained about your speed?" Valmir jabs.

"No joking about mates," U'dron says in a stern voice. "That is off limits."

"She has not," Thrand retorts, ignoring U'dron's warning. "And at least I get to touch her. How's it working with April, friend? She tossed any more food in your face?"

Valmir just scowls. U'dron clears his throat, breaking the tension.

"I thought so." Thrand turns back to me.

"One thing about living at the beach—you will never find it dull.

There is hunting to be done, always, and supplies to be made for hunts.

There is fishing, too, but my brother Vordis has far more patience for that than I do.

Skins to be cured, meat to be smoked, clothes to be sewn, dishes to be carved… "

"Drums to bang and songs to sing," U'dron adds with a small smile. "And then there are the kits."

Thrand chuckles, a fond expression creasing his face as he drinks his tea. "The kits are never, ever boring."

"Your offspring?" I am curious, suddenly. I have never been around a young creature. My memories of the lab are brief, cloudy, and only feature fully adult people. "What are they like?"

Valmir makes an irritated noise, crossing his arms over his chest. "Now you've done it."

But Thrand and U'dron share a fond expression.

"It is the greatest experience in the world, being a father," Thrand begins.

"You think nothing can be better than resonance, and then your child is born and placed in your arms." He holds his hands out, juggling the tea cup, and pretends to cradle something.

"It is the tiniest, most fragile being in the universe, and when it looks up at you, everything changes. "

"They can go on all night about their kits," Valmir complains, all but glaring at the fire.

"Ask them about the diapers, or when the kits interrupt when they're trying to have sex.

Ask what privacy is like after your child is born.

Ask how S'bren's daughter threw up on his face when he was trying to take care of her.

Or how when Jethani was teething and kept Juth and Steph up with her cries all night. "

"The tiniest package with the most potent stink when they relieve themselves," U'dron muses. "But I would not change the crying, or the belching, or any of the things they do. It is special."

They speak as if they have been mind-wiped, and I am a little skeptical at this. A defecating, screaming thing does not sound appealing to me. Perhaps Valmir is not all snarky comments. "How big are they? Aidy says she is carrying but I have not noticed any change to her size."

Thrand scoops the cup into the tea again and walks across our small circle, avoiding the fire, and holds it out to Valmir. The praxiian takes it with a grudging nod of thanks. "How big do you think a baby will get?"

"I…have no idea. I'm not entirely sure how it comes out of her," I confess.

"The same way it goes in."

The same way…but my reproductive DNA goes over to her body by way of my seed, does it not?

I frown intensely. "That is not a very big opening.

" I put out my closed fist, eyeing it and comparing to the pretend cradling that Thrand was doing earlier.

"It has to be smaller than this? But how does such a thing survive? "

"My Deeni was a big baby," Thrand says proudly, and extends his hands out an impossible length, as long as his forearm. "I swear she was this big when Nadine gave birth to her."

"No," I say flatly. Horrified. How is something that big inside my mate? "Impossible."

"Truth," U'dron adds.

"But how do…where do her organs go if such a huge creature is inside her? Aidy is small." I put my hands to my waist, trying to imagine where the feet, the arms will go. "I do not understand…?"

They laugh with sheer delight and I try to figure out what is so funny.

We travel for two more days through the snows. The skies drop white fluff on us constantly, but Thrand and Nadine know these trails by heart. They lead our group, and U'dron and I take turns pulling Valmir's sled while the male seems to be in pain only when April notices him.

He is ridiculous…but I suppose it is working, because she has been noticing him. She rolls her eyes every time he speaks, but as we continue to travel, she walks at his side more and more.

On the evening of the second day of travel, we stop at a large, well-stocked hunter cave.

"We'll stay here and dry out," Nadine says, pulling her damp furs from her body.

April has made a fire and is feeding bits of fuel to it, and the women take their wraps off near the warmth.

"And tomorrow morning, we'll be at the beach, bright and early. You'll love meeting everyone."

Her smile is directed at Aidy, who is beaming back.

My mate has become friends with these people easily.

She talks with Nadine and with April constantly, and they laugh and joke about everything, from the terrible weather to Aidy's equally terrible clothing.

Our clothing suits its purpose—it keeps us warm—but compared to the soft, form-fitting leathers that Nadine wears and the decorated collar and sleeves on April's tunic, it makes me realize that clothing can be more than functional.

This did not occur to me. Even now, my mate wears leggings and a tunic that Nadine lent her.

They hang loosely on Aidy's form, but she looks clean and happy, and I am struck with guilt.

I was not a good provider for my mate. Finding a cave for us to live in is one thing, but it's becoming increasingly clear that survival is about just more than a belly full of food and a decent place to sleep. I didn't think of clothes. I didn't think of friends.

It is clear to me that my Aidy needs both…and more. So much more. This village full of people will be beneficial to our survival, but I grow increasingly worried that Aidy will realize she doesn't need me. That she doesn't want such a terrible mate.

That she's better off without me.

"Come on," Thrand says, slapping my shoulder and jolting me from my thoughts. "Quit moping over your female. I saw a herd of dvisti not far from here. Let's take one down so we have fresh meat and we can replenish the cave before we leave it."

"A good plan." At least I can hunt. I know I am successful at that.

A few hours later, it is completely dark outside and we have taken down one of the smaller dvisti that we managed to separate from the herd before it scattered.

The creature's legs are tied to the spear shaft, the ends of the spear hoisted over my shoulder and U'dron's, since we are of a similar height.

We haul our kill back to the hunter cave, where the women are waiting.

U'dron points at a rocky outcropping in the distance.

"Let's butcher it there so we don't draw predators towards the cave itself.

Corvak, can you get the skinning tools from the cave?

This will make a good hide, and more hides are always needed. "

I nod and leave them behind, slogging through the increasingly deep snow towards the cave and my sweet female. The hunt was a good distraction, but now that we are returning, my thoughts are full of Aidy and worry that I am a bad mate to her.

As I approach the cave, I hear voices.

Valmir is speaking. "I don't know why he didn't tell you. I said directly that you were both clones. It's not right that he kept that from you."

My heart sinks.

Aidy has said nothing about the fact that she knows she is a clone. She has not said anything to me about it or that I kept it from her…and now Valmir is picking at the wound, because he likes to cause trouble. I tense outside the cave, not breathing, waiting to hear Aidy's answer.

After a moment, she makes a noncommittal sound. "You've got him all wrong. He must have misunderstood you. That's all."

"I'm not so sure," Valmir continues.

This time, Aidy sounds exasperated. "Look.

I know Corvak better than you. He wouldn't keep something that important from me.

When I say he didn't know, he didn't know.

We've been under a lot of stress for the last few weeks, and if something slipped his mind, I'm not holding it against him.

Don't try to start something, all right? "

"Me? I would never ," says Valmir in a tone that implies he very much would indeed.

Aidy continues. "If you want to pick on someone's relationship, how about you and April tell us all about why you're fighting resonance, hmm?"

"Oooo," Nadine says. "Burn."

I grin despite myself. Aidy is so fierce in her defense of me, deflecting back onto the others.

"Why am I fighting resonance?" April cries, voice carrying. "Have you met Valmir? I'd rather put a fork in a light socket."

"What I want to know," Aidy continues, "is what Valmir was doing so far out here if you two aren't going to do the whole resonance thing anytime soon. It seems like a weird time to hunt."

"Oh, did she not tell you?" Valmir is all purrs now.