Page 55 of Coronation (Royally Forbidden #1)
His hands are firm on my face, forcing me to look at him, keeping my eyes on his.
“Okay, we’ll do it together. One, two, three —” His chest rises and falls in exaggerated motions, and I do my best to follow, the rushing sound in my ears interspersed now with the shaky, gasping noises I know must be my breath.
“ Yes . Good. Let’s do another one now. One, two, three .
” Another halting intake of air, and a broken release, then another, and another.
Time doesn’t seem to exist at all as Ben forces me to look into his eyes, murmuring words of comfort and praise. In his measured, infinitely calm way, he teaches me to breathe when I can’t remember how.
I have no idea how long it takes to come back to myself, or until I feel as though I have some control over the air entering and leaving my lungs, but when I finally do, the tears come.
With a sob, I throw myself into Ben’s arms, burying my face in his neck. He holds me there on the bedroom floor, rocking back and forth with an arm wrapped around my waist, sealing us together, and the other cradling the base of my skull.
“Come here,” he murmurs, pulling me to my feet with him and then lifting me into his arms.
We don’t go far. In seconds, Ben is setting me at the edge of the bed, frowning in concentration as he removes my dress, and then the tiny, lacy bra I selected for him to take off when we got home tonight.
Sex obviously isn’t his intention, though, as he walks to the closet then back just as quickly, one of his T-shirts in his hands.
I want to cry all over again as he dresses me, carefully guiding my heavily weighted arms through the appropriate places, and pressing a lingering kiss to my temple as he pulls the garment over my head.
God, I love him so much.
If I ruined this, I will never forgive myself.
Ben helps me back onto the mounds of fluffy pillows and covers me with a sheet. My throat is so tight as I watch him cross to the other side of the bed, take off the trousers he just put on, and climb onto the mattress beside me.
We lay on our sides facing each other, and Ben takes my hand, drawing his thumb back and forth as he stares at me, worry in his dark eyes. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”
My mouth is so dry that I can barely swallow. “Who—Who was on the phone?”
“Harrold. My secretary.” He frowns. “Working on behalf of the press corps, no doubt, trying to convince me to give an interview. ”
So, nothing at all to do with me, or the baby. I let my fear build up to such a degree that a phone call was all it took to send me over the edge.
Now, though, curiously, all my fear about telling him seems to have emptied right along with everything else. I’m so drained, I can barely keep my eyes open as I look at the man I love, his head resting on the pillow beside mine.
I need to tell him. It’s time. Even so, it takes a monumental effort to gather my courage, bracing myself as best I can for whatever is to come and, finally, open my mouth.
“You got me pregnant.”
For a long moment, Ben just stares, his dark eyes searching my face. “What?”
“It was in the car. After we saved the sheep.” A sad little laugh escapes from between my lips. “Or I think so, anyway. It’s the only time we didn’t use a condom that weekend.”
Unexpectedly, he props his body up on his forearm, staring down at me in undisguised shock. “You’re pregnant?”
My bottom lip trembles as I nod. “Yes. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. If you need a paternity test, I’d be happy to?—”
Ben’s look of fury has my words faltering.
“Don’t ever apologize to me for our child again, or insinuate I could ever believe…
” He scoffs, as if the possibility of my being pregnant by any other man is patently ridiculous.
My heart stalls, and the corners of my vision blur as he reaches out, laying his hand flat over the lowest part of my stomach. “God, darling. We’re having a baby?”
Never, not in a million years, would I have imagined him having this kind of reaction. The awe I see in his face as he looks at me, the joy…
Tears are running down the side of my face all over again as Ben searches my expression, as if he’s waiting for me to tell him I’m lying. I’m not. I’m definitely not. Once, I would have wished that I were, but not anymore.
“We’re having a baby,” I confirm. “You’re really okay with this? I wouldn’t ever want you to think I’m trying to trap you.”
“Trap me?” Ben scoffs, and then he’s leaning forward, guiding me onto my back as he drops soft, worshipful kisses over my face. “If I’m being trapped, then I will be the happiest victim in history. Trap me, darling, by all means.”
I make a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Things were such a mess for a while there, and then I was scared I would lose you, and?—”
“Lose me?” Ben leans back to look at me properly, serious and unsmiling, but there’s an underlying excitement that makes more tears leak down the sides of my face.
“Zelda, I love you. You and this baby are my family, and I will be there for you both, as long as I live and breathe. Do you understand?”
I think I’m starting to.