Page 35 of Convincing Alex (Stanislaskis #4)

these pieces of paper scattered around, with scribbling on them about dry-cleaning and dialogue and appointments. I saw the

one about the flowers you’d ordered for her, and the directions to the cemetery.” He looked down at their hands. “If things

hadn’t been moving so fast in the investigation, I would have taken the time. I would have tried to.”

That she didn’t doubt. “It was more important to me that you catch the man who killed her than that you go stand over her

grave.”

“I wasn’t with you,” he said, more slowly. “And I wanted to be. And when I got here, I wanted to...” This was hardly the

time to bring up the ring in his pocket. “I was churned up about a lot of things, Bess. My response was way out of line, and

I’ll apologize for it as often as you like. But I’d like you to hear me out.”

“It’s all right.” She gave his hands a squeeze, hoping he’d release hers. He didn’t. “Alexi, Charlie was here because—”

“I don’t need to know.” Now he let her hands go to bring his own to her face. He wanted her to see what was in his eyes. “You

don’t have to explain yourself to me. You don’t have to change yourself for me.”

She felt something move inside her heart and was afraid to believe it was healing. “I’d rather clear the air. I was too angry

to do it before. He came by to tell me that Gabrielle was expecting. He was like a little boy at Christmas, and he wanted

to share his good news with a friend. And to ask me if I’d be godmother—even though it’s seven and a half months down the

road.”

He lowered his brow to hers. “You should have slugged me, McNee.” When he moved his mouth toward hers, he felt her retreat.

Patiently he stroked his thumbs over her temples. “Just once,” he murmured and tasted her lips.

He didn’t mean to deepen the kiss, didn’t mean to crush her against him and hold her so tightly neither of them could breathe.

But he couldn’t stop himself until he felt her body shake with a fresh bout of tears.

“Don’t. Please don’t.” He pressed his face into her hair and rocked her. “I’ll break apart.”

Turning her face into his shoulder, she fought back the worst of the tears. “I didn’t want you to come back. I didn’t want

to feel this again.”

He deserved that, he thought as he squeezed his eyes tight. “You were right to send me away. I want a chance to prove to you

that you’re right to let me back in.” He brushed a hand through her hair. “You’re so good at listening, Bess. I have to ask

you to listen to me now.”

“You don’t need to apologize again.” She could do nothing but love him, she realized, and, drawing back, she managed a smile.

“And I can’t let you back in, because you were always here.”

Her words brought a pressure to his chest. He pressed their joined hands against it to try to ease it away. “Just that easy?”

“It’s not easy.” She supposed it would never be easy. “It’s just the way it is.”

“Mikhail said I would grovel,” he murmured. “Bess, you humble me.”

“Let’s put it behind us.” She drew a deep breath, then kissed both his cheeks as a sign of peace. “I’m good at fresh starts.”

“No.” Taking her hand, he pulled her to the couch. “I like our other start. We don’t need a new one, only to play this one

out. Sit.” He pulled her down with him, keeping her hand close to his heart. “You explained, now I will. I was afraid to believe

in you. No woman has ever meant what you mean, and I let myself imagine that you’d be with me forever. Just as I let myself

imagine that you’d turn away. And because I was more afraid of the second, it seemed more real.”

“It’s hard to be afraid.” She turned her cheek to his hand. “I know.”

“You don’t know all.” He glanced away, toward the flowers subtly scenting the room. “You kept the lilacs.”

“I tried not to.” She smiled again. “But they were so beautiful.”

“I brought you something besides lilacs that day.” He reached into his pocket and drew out the box. Her hand went limp in

his. He watched her lips tremble apart. “I don’t think it’s ostentatious.” When she only continued to stare, he shifted. “That

was a joke.”

“Okay.” The two syllables came out in a whisper. “Are you—are you going to let me see it?”

For an answer, he opened the box himself. Inside was a gold band set with a rainbow of gems. He knew what they were only because

he’d asked the jeweler to identify each of them. The amethyst, the peridot, the blue topaz, the citrine.

“I know it’s not traditional,” he said when she remained silent. “But it reminded me of you, and I wanted—hell, I wanted something

no one else would have thought to give you.”

“No one has,” she managed, barely breathing. “No one would.”

“If you don’t like it, we can look for something else.”

She was afraid she would cry again and knew it would do neither of them any good. “It’s lovely. Beautiful.” She managed to

tear her gaze from it. “You bought me this before? You had it with you the other night? You were going to give it to me, then

you walked in and saw me with Charlie.” Laughing, she lifted a hand to her cheek. “I’m surprised you didn’t gun us both down.

I couldn’t have written it better myself.”

“Then you forgive me?”

She already had, but since he was looking so nervous, she nodded. “Anyone with such good taste deserves a second chance.”

“I bought this days ago, but it took me a while to work up the nerve. Facing a junkie with an Uzi seemed easier.” But he was

into it now, and he was going to finish. “My idea was to pressure you to accept it, then push for a quick wedding so you wouldn’t

change your mind. But that was wrong.” He closed the box, and was encouraged by Bess’s quick gasp of dismay. “It was stupid,

and it showed a lack of faith in both of us. I’m sorry.”

“I—You—” She let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t mind.”

“Of course you do,” he said. “It was calculating, even devious, when a proposal of marriage should be romantic. So, when we’re

both ready, I’ll ask you properly.”

Her face fell. “When we’re both ready?”

“I don’t want to push you when you might be feeling a little vulnerable. Especially since a long engagement is out. So I’ll

give you time.”

“Time,” she echoed, ready to scream.

“It’s fair.” He waited a beat. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Before she could laugh, he was down on one knee. “What are you doing?”

“A proper proposal of marriage.” He nearly launched into his humble little speech. Instead, his eyes darkened when she continued

to laugh. “You don’t want one.”

“Damn right I want one. But I want you up here.” She took his hand to tug him back to the couch so that they were at eye level

with each other. “I want you to look me right in the eye.”

“Okay, then I get something I want, too.”

“Name it.”

“I want to hear you say it.” He caught her hand, brought it to his cheek. “I want very much to hear you say it. I need to

hear the words from you.”

“I love you, Alexi.” For the first time, she said the words smiling, knowing they would be taken as they were meant. “I’m

going to love you forever.”

He turned his face so that his lips pressed into her palm. Taking the ring out of the box, he slipped it onto her finger.

It shot out a rainbow of color. As he linked his fingers with hers, he lifted his head. “Be my family.” He shook his head

before she could speak and felt himself stumble. “I meant to be romantic. Let me—”

“No.” Overwhelmed, she laid a hand over his lips. “That was perfect. Don’t change it. Don’t change anything.”

“Then say yes.”

“Yes.” She threw her arms around him and laughed. “Oh, yes... ?.”

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