Page 4 of Connor (Total Sinners #2)

Summer

The knock came just as I flattened out the last corner of the sheet on Vic’s makeshift bed.

I stepped back, tilting my head, evaluating my work.

It wasn’t perfect—the sheets were a little wrinkled from being stuffed in my suitcase, and the pillowcase didn’t quite match the comforter—but it would do.

At least I’d managed to put something together before he arrived.

I wanted it to feel like home, or at least as close to home as I could make it.

The knock came again, louder this time.

“Alright, alright,” I called, hurrying toward the door, smoothing my shirt down as I reached for the handle.

When I swung it open, Vic stood on the other side, grinning like he hadn’t just spent four hours in the car.

“What, no balloons? No welcome banner?” he teased, stepping inside before I could invite him in. He set his bag down by the couch and stretched. “You’re slacking, little sister.”

“Yeah, well, the parade got rained out.”

He huffed out a laugh and pulled me in for a quick hug, squeezing just a little too tight before letting me go. “I missed you, kid.”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and stepped back, forcing a smile. “Missed you too.”

It wasn’t a lie. I did miss him—more than I wanted to admit. But having Vic here, standing in my tiny new apartment, made something twist in my chest. It felt like I was seeing a ghost of my past life. My real life. The one I left behind.

And that life included Connor and the pseudo-relationship we’d had. I pushed the thought away before it could take root.

“C’mon, I made up the couch for you,” I said, stepping aside and motioning toward the setup. “Not exactly five-star accommodations, but…”

Vic flopped onto the couch with zero hesitation, bouncing slightly on the cushions before stretching out with a satisfied sigh. “Nah, this is great.” His hand patted the pillow. “Hotel Blake has top-tier service.”

I snorted, shaking my head as I moved back toward the boxes I had yet to unpack. “Is this all that’s left?” he asked, eyeing the small stack.

“Yeah. Just random stuff. Nothing important.”

That was only half true. Most of what was left were things I didn’t need right away—some books, a few decorative things, old keepsakes I wasn’t sure why I even brought. Things I had packed and unpacked three times before finally setting them aside for later.

And now, later had arrived.

I bent down, prying open a box, the scent of old paper and forgotten memories hitting me at once. The first thing I pulled out was a framed photo of Vic and me from two summers ago. He had me in a headlock, both of us grinning like idiots.

I smiled, brushing my fingers over the glass. “Remember this?”

Vic peered over the back of the couch, his grin widening. “Damn, I forgot about that day. We’d just finished that insane hike, right?”

“The one you swore would only take an hour?” I shot him a pointed look.

He laughed. “Hey, I was mostly right.”

I rolled my eyes, setting the frame aside before reaching for another item.

My fingers brushed against something soft, and when I pulled it out, my stomach clenched.

A hoodie. Connor’s hoodie. I didn’t even remember packing it.

Didn’t remember shoving it into the bottom of this box.

But now it was here, in my hands, the fabric worn and familiar, the scent of him long gone but still there in a way I couldn’t explain.

I should put it back. I should shove it to the bottom of the box and pretend I never saw it. Vic could recognize it. He’d have questions. But putting it away felt like an impossibility.

Instead, I swallowed hard and set it in my lap, keeping my hands busy smoothing out invisible wrinkles.

Vic, thankfully, hadn’t noticed. He was too busy stretching out on the couch, rubbing a hand over his face.

“You hungry?” I asked quickly, my voice a little too high.

“Starving.”

“Pizza?”

“Always.”

I grabbed my phone and pulled up the delivery app, pretending to focus on scrolling through the menu while my heart raced for an entirely different reason. Because now, Connor was in my head. And I couldn’t shake him.

***

The pizza arrived twenty minutes later, and by then, I’d managed to shove Connor’s hoodie back into the box, out of sight but nowhere near out of mind.

Vic had kicked his feet up on the coffee table, flipping through channels on my tiny TV while I set the food down on the counter.

“Pepperoni and extra cheese,” I announced, opening the box and inhaling the scent of melted cheese and garlic. “Your usual.”

Vic turned, grinning. “God, I raised you right.”

I snorted, tossing him a paper plate before grabbing a slice for myself. “Alright, college girl,” he said, taking a huge bite and talking around a mouthful. “How’s it feeling?”

I shrugged, chewing slowly. “Like I’m in someone else’s apartment.”

Vic arched a brow. “That bad?”

“No,” I admitted. “Just… weird. Like, I’ve been looking forward to this for years, you know? Getting out, starting over. And now that I’m here, I don’t know… I thought it would feel different.”

Vic nodded, wiping his fingers on a napkin. “That’s normal. First year’s gonna be an adjustment. But you’ll settle in.”

“I know.” I nudged my crust across my plate, suddenly restless. “Just wish it didn’t feel so…”

Lonely.

Empty.

Wrong.

Vic watched me for a second, then smirked. “You need to stop overthinking. You got your classes all set?”

I nodded. “Yeah. The first day is Monday. Intro psych, English comp, and some gen eds. Nothing crazy.” I hadn’t decided on a major yet, but Vic was pushing for me to study business like he had.

“You’ll be fine,” he assured me. “I mean, don’t procrastinate or anything, but if you do, at least make sure you’re drinking something decent while you pull all-nighters.”

I scrubbed my jaw. “Solid advice, big brother.”

He grinned. “That’s what I’m here for.”

We ate in comfortable silence for a while, the TV playing some random sitcom in the background. I let the moment settle, let myself enjoy it, but as soon as Vic reached for another slice, I saw my opening.

“So,” I said casually, picking at my crust. “Have you talked to Connor lately?”

Vic didn’t even pause. “Yeah, I saw him a few days ago.”

I fought to keep my expression neutral. “Oh, yeah? How’s he doing?”

Vic shrugged. “Same as ever. Working, drinking, fucking anything that moves.” He smirked, like it was some kind of inside joke.

My stomach twisted. I waited, hoping he’d say more, but when he didn’t, I pressed on. “How are things going with Aiden?”

Vic arched a brow, chewing slowly before swallowing. “Why?”

I forced a small laugh. “No reason. Just… I dunno.” Except, I did.

Connor always worried about his brother and his mom.

I could never figure out why, and he always tried to make it seem like he couldn't care less. But on the nights when we were laying in his bed, he’d start talking, I’d run my hands over his chest…

and God, it used to feel like we were more than just fuck buddies.

I couldn’t exactly tell my brother that, though. “Never mind, I guess I’m just missing home,” I tried to joke.

Vic frowned, leaning back against the couch. “He hasn’t said much. I think he’s just been busy.”

Busy.

That word sat heavy in my chest, even though I had no right to be upset. I was the one who left. I was the one who walked out of his apartment, knowing it was over.

I shouldn’t care.

But I did.

“Why, are you missing home already ?” Vic nudged my foot with his.

I forced a smirk. “Just a new place, new rules. I guess I’m struggling to fit into a normal life now that I left you all back in Reverence.”

Vic chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”

I hummed in response, but my mind was spinning.

I should be relieved that he bought that. Instead, it just made the apartment feel a little colder.

Vic polished off his last slice and stretched out with a satisfied groan. “God, I needed that.”

I nodded, but my mind was still stuck on Connor. He hasn’t said much.

That shouldn’t bother me. I shouldn’t care that he wasn’t talking, or that he hadn’t even answered the message I sent him that night I got to my apartment feeling like I’d left a piece of my heart back home. This was exactly what I’d wanted, right? A clean break.

Then why did it feel like I’d been the only one who actually had to suffer through it?

I swallowed hard and forced myself to focus back on Vic, who was now eyeing me with a look that made me uneasy. “What?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“You tell me,” he shot back, tilting his head. “Something’s up with you.”

Shit. That was exactly what I needed, Vic getting suspicious the one weekend he was here just to visit.

God, now I had to figure out something to say that wouldn’t make his protective instincts that much worse.

I shrugged, reaching for my soda to buy myself a second to think. “Just tired. A lot on my mind.”

Vic didn’t look convinced. “You sure?”

“Positive.” I took a sip, hoping he’d drop it. “So, tell me more about what I should expect. Any horror stories from your freshman year?”

That did the trick. Vic relaxed back into the couch, launching into some story about a guy from his dorm who almost set the fire alarms off making grilled cheese with an iron. I let him talk, nodding in all the right places, laughing at his ridiculous descriptions.

But even as I smiled, my thoughts drifted. Connor . What was he doing right now? Was he with someone now? Another girl he could bury his dick into just to forget he had a heart? Did he ever think about me at all? I hated that I even wanted to know. I hated that it still hurt.

“…and then the RA walked in, and this guy just bolts , leaving the iron in the middle of the room,” Vic was saying, shaking his head. “Dumbass got written up, but honestly? Worth it.”

I snorted. “You really met the best people in college, huh?”

“Oh, for sure,” he said, grinning. “And don’t even get me started on group projects. Hope you like doing 90% of the work, because—”

Ding.

My phone lit up on the table, cutting him off.

I didn’t know why my stomach flipped, why my stupid heart jumped for just a second before my brain caught up. It wouldn’t be him. It wouldn’t—

Vic leaned over and glanced at my screen. “Who’s texting you this late?”

I grabbed my phone before he could see, turning it over. “Just an email from school,” I lied. “Probably about class.”

Vic yawned, stretching again. “Ah, right. You got all those new people to meet now.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, staring down at my phone. It wasn’t Connor. Of course it wasn’t. I should stop waiting for something that is never going to come.

Vic stood up to grab another slice of pizza. “Alright, I’m wiped. You gonna be up much longer?”

I shook my head. “Nah, I’ll probably turn in soon.”

“Cool. Thanks for letting me crash.”

I smiled, though it felt a little forced. “Anytime.”

He ruffled my hair on his way to the couch, and I let him, too tired to protest.

As he settled in, I grabbed my phone, checking the message in the privacy of my bedroom. It wasn’t Connor. But it didn’t stop me from staring at my screen, wondering what he was doing. Wondering if he ever stared at his phone, wondering about me.