Page 12 of Connor (Total Sinners #2)

Summer

The apartment was too quiet.

The air still vibrated through the walls from the force of the door slamming shut. I swore I could feel the echo of it in my chest, rattling against my ribs. I stood there, frozen, my jaw clenched so tight it ached,. Every part of me was aching, my mind spinning, but I refused to cry.

Not yet.

Not in front of them.

Quinn and North were watching me carefully, waiting.

They’d come back after Connor stormed out, slamming the door behind himself.

Their eyes were heavy, weighted with something like expectation, or maybe it was pity.

I hated that. Hated the way they looked at me like I was something fragile, something that might shatter under the weight of their concern.

I took a shaky breath and forced the words out, my voice coming out flatter than I expected. "I told him."

Quinn’s expression darkened instantly. "And?"

I swallowed hard. My throat burned. "He laughed."

But that hadn’t even been the most hurtful part, it was what he’d said afterward.

Connor and I might have never been in a relationship, but for me, sleeping with anyone else felt like an impossibility.

To me, Connor was everything I’d ever wanted, flaws and all.

I couldn’t replace that. I couldn’t just replace him.

He was my first everything—first kiss, first fuck, first heartbreak, and now, the father of my child.

This was such a fucking mess.

North muttered a curse under his breath. His jaw clenched so tightly I could see the muscle tick beneath his skin.

"And then," I added, forcing the words out before I lost the courage, "he accused me of lying."

Silence.

Quinn’s entire body went still. Then—

"That son of a bitch."

The words cracked through like a whip, sharp and venomous.

I flinched, not because I disagreed, but because hearing it out loud made it real.

Connor had looked me in the eye and denied the fact that I was—that we’d made—I couldn’t even think it and it shouldn’t hurt this much, but it did. God , it did.

"You’re staying here tonight."

I shook my head before I even realized I was doing it. "No."

Quinn’s eyes narrowed. "Summer—"

"I just want to go home."

She stared at me like she was trying to understand, trying to see the logic in it. There wasn’t any. Not really. But I couldn’t stay here. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to feel anymore.

I just wanted to crawl into bed and disappear.

Quinn didn’t like it, but after a long beat, she sighed and grabbed her keys. "Fine. But I’m driving you."

I didn’t argue. I didn’t have the energy to do much more than follow her to the car.

North stayed behind, and we didn’t speak during the drive home... I stared out the window, arms wrapped around myself, trying to hold it together. I was failing. The lump in my throat was growing, the pressure behind my eyes unbearable.

Quinn sighed heavily, breaking the silence. "I can’t believe him. I can’t believe he’d do this to you. After everything."

“Really?” I asked her, my lower lip wobbling. The question was rhetorical. What happened last summer had been proof enough that Connor, and North, and even Vic, were callous enough to ruin someone without a thought.

Quinn winced at what I was referring to and the rest of the drive was silent.What was there to say? She knew I was right. It was cruel, but this was Connor .

"You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?" she continued, glancing at me. "Have you spoken to Victor yet?"

“Are you kidding?” I laughed dryly. “He’ll fucking kill Connor if he finds out about this.”

“He’s going to find out eventually,” Quinn answered, her voice soft. “Unless you don’t go ahead with the pregnancy.”

“I don’t want an abortion,” I stated, cutting her off. It wasn’t because I had anything against abortions, but rather that I couldn’t see myself getting rid of the only piece of evidence I had that Connor and I were once good together.

“You still have time to decide exactly what you want,” she responded gently.

Not wanting to argue further when my heart was already breaking, I nodded, but my throat was too tight to respond.

“For now, feel free to phone if you need anything.”

“Sure,” I whispered and I wanted to believe her.

To believe that they’d come if I called, regardless of what happened between us, but this wasn’t something anyone could fix for me, and there was a lot more that would have to happen before Quinn and North were friends of mine again.

The car went silent again and I fiddled with my things as we passed pedestrians and houses alike.

When Quinn pulled up outside my apartment, she finally spoke. "If he comes back—"

"He won’t."

Not before he’d get fucked up drunk like always and find a girl to warm his cock.

Quinn didn’t look convinced, but it had been a year since she’d seen Connor. She didn’t know how much he’d worsened

I forced a wobbly smile. "Thanks for the ride."

She hesitated, then said, "You deserve better than this."

I nodded. I knew. But that wasn’t going to change anything now, and knowing didn’t make it hurt any less. I had better things to worry about now. School, the baby. Other things besides how Connor was slowly wrecking every bit of my heart.

Quinn’s car idled as I made my way to my front door, and I didn’t bother to look back in case she saw the tears falling down my cheeks. I was so fucking screwed, it wasn’t even funny.

I unlocked the door then shoved it open, waving my arm over my head to let her know everything was alright before I entered.

As soon as the door was closed and locked, I dropped my mask and spun around to face my empty apartment. Not even bothering to switch on the tv like I normally did, I stumbled to my bed before I collapsed onto the mattress.

I told myself I wouldn’t cry.

But the tears slipped out anyway. First one. Then another. And another. And then I was breaking apart all at once, my face buried in the pillow, silent sobs shaking my body. This wasn’t what I wanted. None of this was what I wanted.

***

I cried until I had nothing left, exhaustion finally dragging me under. But sleep didn’t last long before a loud thud against my door ripped me out of my bad dreams.

For a moment, I didn’t know where I was, my heart pounding as I sat up, trying to shake off the fog of exhaustion. Then—another thud and a voice. Slurred. Loud. Angry. So fucking familiar that my heart ached.

"SUMMER! Open the damn door!"

My stomach dropped and I stumbled out of bed, my pulse hammering, reaching the door just as the next fist collided against it.

"Connor, what the hell—"

Then I saw him. He was drunk. Beyond drunk. His eyes were bloodshot, his posture unsteady, his jaw tight with something unreadable. And standing next to him, arms crossed, looking just as exhausted—North.

"What is he doing here?" I asked North, my voice low.

"He showed up at my place. I figured it was better to bring him here than let him drive off a cliff."

Connor scoffed. "Like I’d be that lucky."

His words cut deeper than they should have. I stepped forward, ignoring the pounding in my head. "Connor, you need to go home."

He laughed . A sharp, bitter sound. "Home?" His eyes darkened. "Pretty sure I don’t have one of those anymore."

My throat closed. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know what he wanted from me. Then he stepped closer, his voice dropping, his gaze flickering over my face. "You really meant it, huh?"

My breath caught. "Connor—" Like I’d ever lie about something like this. And for what? To have him call me a whore?

But he was already reaching for me, his hands sliding across my waist, his touch heavy, unfocused. I became still. His mouth brushed against my jaw, his breath warm against my skin, tinged with whiskey .

"We could forget about all this for a little while," he murmured. His lips trailed lower. And despite the way my body softened at his touch, I still put a hand out to stop him.

"Connor, stop."

He didn’t. His hands slid up my back, his voice thick with something desperate. "Come on, baby. We could forget all about this for the night. Just let me—"

I shoved him. Hard . More forceful than I should’ve, but fuck if I’d let him call me his baby after he accused me of being a whore. I’d always been Princess, or Summer. There was no way in hell I was going to allow him to drop me to that category now. Regardless of where we stood on the baby issue.

Connor stumbled back, blinking in surprise and my anger grew.

He probably hadn’t even realized, but I did.

That nickname was supposed to be mine. Reverence was such a small town that everyone knew everyone, and when no one knew you were fucking Connor McIntyre then no one had any reason not to tell you the gossip of his flings.

That was my torture, just like the nicknames had become my only pride—back when I was still certain he might’ve given a shit but was just hiding it.

I wasn’t so sure anymore.

"I said stop!" I shouted, unimpressed. He would’ve, I knew that. But I didn’t feel like being held by him any longer after what he’d said— what he’d fucking accused me of .

He stared at me. And for the first time tonight, he actually looked sober .

"I’m not dealing with you when you’re like this," I said, my voice shaking but firm. "Not after what you did. Not after you hurt me."

Because those words had hurt me. They’d fucking ripped my heart in two.

I’d given this man everything. My first kiss.

My virginity. My love . And yes, I knew that he never asked for any of it, but he could atleast act a little more fucking responsible rather than accusing me of sleeping with someone else.

Connor swallowed hard. And for a second—just a second —I saw something break in his expression. Regret . Maybe even shame . But then it was gone. Replaced by something colder . That familiar mask that he liked to hide behind. "Fine."

He stepped back, his eyes unreadable. North was already at his side, already pulling him away. "Come on, man."

Connor didn’t fight it. He just turned, walked away, disappeared into the night and this time, I didn’t cry.

I just locked the door, pressed my back against it, and breathed.

I should feel relieved. I should feel safe.

But all I felt was empty . I’d only ever felt that way with him, and how fucked up was it that I wanted him to come back and apologize again?

To show me he still cared? Even if there was only a small part of him that did?