CHAPTER

NINE

DEMI

My skin is itchy, it feels tight with my man away facing my enemies.

When Conan, or Xavier as he demanded I call him two nights past, told me about their plan I broke out in a blotchy rash.

This has been a dilemma of mine since childhood, stemming from trauma and nerves.

I can’t believe this day has finally come.

The men who attacked me, stole something from me, will be getting a little payback.

“Stop scratching,” Luna berates, slapping my fingers away from my flesh. “You’re going to make it worse.”

“It can’t get any worse, Luna. It’s spread like a fungus.”

“That’s because it is, Demi. Put on the cream I sent Stixx to the pharmacy for and leave it alone.”

“Those men come in handy, don’t they?” I tease, clutching my fist so I don’t scratch. “Wish we had them in college.”

“They would’ve come in handy during exam crunch time,” Luna snickers. “So would one of the delivery apps.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” I agree. “Running to the store mid study time was exhausting.”

“It was hard breaking our concentration from the books to head to the store because our tummies were grumbling,” Luna reflects. “Remember how hard it was to get back, cook, and hit the books again?”

“Remember? Hell, yeah. I put on the Freshman ten twice a year until we walked across the stage. I had to work out harder after our tests were done because it all settled in my hips and ass.”

She starts giggling and then I join her, my itching momentarily forgotten, as we each remember our two-a-day workouts until I was back to my normal weight and size.

God bless Luna because she was right by my side even though the heifer only gained five pounds during that time!

It seems that all my early childhood trauma presents itself in a food binging way, which isn’t good at all.

I’ve watched My 600 lb. Life and I’m not about to be one of Dr. Now’s patients!

I mean, what he tells some of them isn’t wrong because ultimately, if he teaches them the tools to use it’s up to them, but sometimes, he has to be brutal as fuck to get through to them.

“Can I take some more Benadryl yet?” I question, the cream not really having the desired effect.

She looks at me with concern and says, “Maybe I need to see who the guys use and have them come out to give you a shot or something more effective than what we’re doing. I bet your whole autoimmune system is jacked up with everything going on.”

“Even though I’m not a fan of doctors or needles, I itch badly enough that I’d be willing to let someone give me a shot,” I grumble, my hands now in fists as they rub against my skin.

The satisfaction is momentary, sadly, because as soon as I stop, that urge to dig into my arms and legs intensifies exponentially.

“Get my mind off this, Luna. Let’s talk shop,” I suggest, wanting something else for my mind to concentrate on.

“Have you decided on if you’re going to take a more active role in Broken Trust, Demi?”

“I’m not an author, Luna,” I remind her even though she’s well-aware of that fact. “It’s not my forte, I prefer to be behind the scenes. I’ll help you with the plotline, attacks, feelings, and shit like that, but I don’t want my name tied to the storyline.”

“I get that. It can be used against you later if it becomes known that it’s based around your experience,” she concludes.

“Yeah, it all comes down to getting permission and shit. You know as well as I do that those vile men who took advantage of me would never sign on that dotted line.”

“Who could blame them?” She snorts, rolling her eyes. “But since we’re changing names and locations, I don’t see that being an issue. It’d be like them shooting themselves in the foot.”

“True, but no matter what your argument is, I’m not going to change my mind, sis.”

“Fine,” she grumbles. “But I need you to be as honest with me as you can about the circumstances, actions, and emotions.”

“You’re worried?” I ask.

“I’m petrified,” she announces. “I don’t want this to trigger you, but I think the story needs to be told so women are aware and prepared.”

“A guidebook for what to do and what not to do?” I inquire, needing to know where her mind is in regard to this novel.

“In a sense but in story form,” she states. “Our heroine still needs a name as well as our antagonizers. I’d like your input, Demi.”

Snickering, I tell her, “You don’t want the names I’d use, Luna.”

“Asshole one through four won’t work, that’s for damn sure,” she giggles. “But we can use their first initial to name everything with. Like you, D for Diedra?”

“Are we going with soap opera names?” I ask, laughing.

“Not necessarily, it’s the first name that popped into my mind. What do you have in mind?”

“Nothing, I was just teasing you, sis,” I acknowledge. “Diedra works, I like the thought of being someone else for a short time.”

“What about David? What do you have in mind for him?”

“Something close to Demon,” she retorts.

“Don’t use Damon! You’ll ruin that name for me,” I digress.

“Wouldn’t do that to you, Demi,” she quips before proposing, “let’s stick to safe names.”

“Like what?” I inquire.

She mulls it over before saying, “David could be Douglas. Joey could be Jones. Liam could be Lincoln, and Niles could be Norman.”

“Norman,” I snicker. “Lincoln’s a cool name, I wish we didn’t have to demean it but so far, I’m onboard.”

“Then that’s what we’ll use,” she decides.

“Where in the story are you beginning? When I first started employment or at the bar itself?”

“I’m thinking somewhere in between,” she admits.

“Personally, I think for the prologue you should start with my first day’s introductions and how excited I was to start my adult career.”

“I could also go back a little further and use your graduation for that,” she contemplates. It’ll give a little backstory to begin with.”

“Or you could use one of my favorite authors as a template to start at various ages and get that point across better,” I suggest.

“Darlene is fabulous, isn’t she? I love the way she goes through their life and gives a backstory without being too in your face about it,” Luna gushes.

“I also like how she does flashbacks as well. It’s funny how certain authors seem to find their niche like that because Winter has become one of the reigning queens of the cliffhanger. ”

“The snippets into their past makes you want to delve in, that’s for sure,” I admit. “It gives the story some flair. And don’t get me started on what Winter does! I’ll be going along and then bam, the story ends! It’s brilliant but maddening at the same damn time.”

“It sets the scene and I admire the way Dar gives those fragments into their trauma without making you want to dig into a pint of ice cream. Although, with that said, her trigger warning needs to be in the front stating you need an entire box of tissue to make your way through.” Luna has me clutching my stomach at the way her eyes clearly state how she’s feeling in regard to two of her top twenty authors.

It’s an ever-growing list these days because there are so many MC authors out there now who are extremely talented at different specialties in their novels.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Luna,” I remind her. “Not many get that orange banner with their second book published. You need to give yourself a pat on the back for that accomplishment.”

“That was the highlight of my career so far. To reach so many readers and have them connect with your characters is awe-inspiring and keeps you motivated. I wanted to throw in the towel once, but one of the reviews I read kept me going. Some of the reviews written about my books make me want to crawl in a hole and die a slow, agonizing death since I put my blood, sweat, and tears into every word I write, but then, you get that one that says that you got them out of a slump or helped them deal with something going on in their life and it reignites that flame that was just dimmed.”

“Don’t you dare quit because someone didn’t like one of your books,” I berate. “It’s like comparing apples to oranges, not every storyline is going to capture a person, and maybe they don’t understand the reason one book has something not completed but it’ll be understood in a subsequent book.”

She sniffles because her last release had a review that hurt her deeply.

A lot of things were criticized but the thing they don’t understand is there’s a reason behind everything she does.

Her next release will not only explain why things happened the way they did, but it’ll be tied up in a pretty bow.

“Okay,” I sigh, reaching out and clasping her hand in mine.

“I’m taking away your permission to read reviews.

Just because something isn’t their cup of tea shouldn’t reflect on you as a writer.

Not everyone is going to agree with or like every book you release.

Find your backbone, Luna, and brush it off, buttercup.

They can threaten to never read you again because you hurt their sensibilities by ending the book in a cliffy, but that’s their cross to bear, not yours. Got it?”

“I like looking at the constructive ones, Demi. It helps me grow as an author.”

“Then I’ll print those out for you to scan over, but you need to turn a blind eye, stay positive, and not hit the sites. They’re the devil’s playground where the keyboard warriors live, sis,” I press.

“We’ll try that and see how it works. It’s going to be hard because each and every reader’s opinion and thought matters, but I know there are trolls out there who aren’t happy with their lives and exist to bring others down. So I’ll do my best to stay off the platforms. Alright?”

“I’ll accept that, for now,” I inform her. “Now, let’s get back to plotting. Get your recorder out and I’ll let you play reporter.”

“Yes!” she hollers, pumping her fist into the air which has me giggling like a schoolgirl. The things that excite her are out of my wheelhouse of understanding, but her enthusiasm is contagious.