Page 47

47

Claira

N ow, I was officially drained.

My muscles were still trembling as Kai let us sink onto the soft bed of sea flora, its vivid colors folding around us like a living blanket. It was beautiful—almost too much for my exhausted eyes to take in.

His claspers had finally released me, but I wasn’t ready to move. Maybe I would never move again.

“That was incredible,” Kai whispered as soon as we’d settled in the wild tangle. He wrapped around me, snuggling up to me from behind.

I let out a contented sigh, resting my head back on his shoulder, my arms too heavy to move. Honestly, it was incredible. Probably the best internal workout my useless tail had ever had. I definitely should have told him that, but the words just wouldn’t come.

The glowing plankton hovering around us blurred as my eyes fluttered shut.

“You okay?” His voice pulled me out of the haze, though it was soft and hoarse as if he were struggling to stay awake.

I nodded, barely. “Yeah, just tired,” I mumbled, more of a sleepy hum than actual words. When was the last time I’d slept? Certainly not last night. Maybe not even well the night before. “So, so tired.”

“So am I.” He shifted a little, and I felt his weariness in the movement, the same bone-deep exhaustion dragging me down.

Sleep was pulling at me hard, but I couldn’t give in. Not yet. Not until we made it back to land.

But Kai… Kai was warm, and he was here. With his arms snug around me and his cheek resting against my hair, I felt safe. It was as if nothing could reach us.

If I could just stay like this for a little longer, I’d be fine. My magic would replenish, at least enough to use if I needed it on our way back. Just a little longer…

“Do you think we should rest before we head out?” he asked, low and drowsy. “Feels pretty safe here.” His hands smoothed over my arms. “You feel so cold, Claira. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Rest. As tempting as it was, I shook my head, barely able to fight off a yawn. “No, we can’t. What if one of us lets go in our sleep and we drift apart? You’d turn into a fish, and I wouldn’t even realize until I woke up.” The thought of losing him in this tangled mass of plants… Yikes .

A soft, thoughtful hum vibrated through him. “What if we tied ourselves together?” he suggested, his voice brightening.

“Tie ourselves together?” My mind drifted back to his claspers, and a slow smile spread across my lips. “I think we already did that.”

“Oh, um, not like that,” he rushed to get out, and I could easily picture his face flushing my favorite shade of pink. One of his arms slid away as he shifted behind me. “What if we use this?” he asked, presenting a long cascade of black fabric.

“Really?” I arched an eyebrow. “You’re going to tie us together with my ocean silks?” Although it was impressive that he’d even found them in all of this chaos. The black must have stood out against the vibrant colors.

“Yeah, why not?” His tone was light as he settled back beside me. He brought our arms together, intertwining our fingers. “Like this,” he said, and he began winding the silks around our joined arms. When he reached our wrists, he needed my help to finish the knot.

“Nice!” He gave my hand a cheerful squeeze. “Now we won’t drift apart.”

“I guess that’s true,” I murmured, staring at the knot tying us together. He really enjoyed holding my hand.

With that, he yawned and snuggled back into me, our linked arms resting comfortably on my hip. Then, his other hand surreptitiously found its way between my breasts, and I couldn’t help but snort.

His cuteness defied all logic.

This was hardly the time for sleep, but I was far too exhausted to keep pondering the idea of it. Before I knew it, I was focusing on the steady rise and fall of his chest, that gentle rhythm lulling me back into a drowsy haze.

A moment of peace—finally . Or at least, it should’ve been.

The quiet stretched, but even in Kai’s sleepy state, there was something sharp and tense about him.

“I’m really glad you’re away from those heartless dark spawn,” he whispered suddenly, so softly that I wondered if he thought I was already asleep.

Heartless? My topmost heart gave a hard, hollow thunk.

His voice lowered further, straining. “I can’t stop thinking about what they did… how they took you.”

“But I’m here now,” I said, letting him know I was still awake.

The reminder did nothing for the tension in his body. If anything, it made it worse. I shifted a little, trying to recapture the comfort from moments before, but nothing seemed to help.

“I’ve been so scared, Claira. So angry .” His words dragged like each one had required immense effort to get out. “I’m not used to feeling like this.”

Angry? My sweet Kai? I instinctively tried to turn toward him, but his arm locked around me. Maybe he was afraid I’d vanish again, or maybe he just didn’t want me to see him while he felt like this.

“Kai…” I whispered, but he kept going.

“They’re so cruel.” His voice grew harder. “They don’t care about anyone. They take what they want—like they did with you, like they did with—like they…” He buried his face in my hair, pulling me closer as if trying to shield me from everything, or maybe I was his shield. “So damn cruel.”

His anger made me wince. He was right, of course. Cecaelia were cruel. Just thinking about Jagati’s tentacles around me and the way he’d tried to claim me like some prize he was entitled to made my skin crawl, even though I’d already gotten my revenge.

Yet, there was something in Kai’s words that stung in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

“Merfolk can be cruel, too,” I whispered, not really sure why I’d felt the need to say it.

He pulled away from me just enough to make my pulse quicken. “Sure, but we’re nothing like dark spawn.”

I felt his head shake, the force of his anger causing his arms to tremble. “All they know how to do is hurt and lie about what they are.” His voice became a jagged knife, a world away from the gentle Kai I’d come to know. “They pretend to be innocent, but they’re not. They’re demons.”

I froze, suddenly wide awake—painfully, terrifyingly awake.

Kai’s hand clenched mine, an almost unbearable pressure that might as well have been around one of my hearts. “They don’t even care who they hurt,” he muttered. Then he let out a heavy sigh as if he was trying to let go of his anger, his frustration, but I couldn’t.

No, I latched on to it . Let it seep into my veins and fester inside me. They don’t even care who they hurt. I swallowed, my skin prickling, my fingers numbing.

There was some truth to that, wasn’t there? Even now, my only regret about hurting Jagati was that Aracos had presented me with a reason to stop.

I’d wanted to see him suffer. I’d longed to watch him die. The adrenaline had worn off, but that feeling hadn’t changed.

I could be very cruel. Put a knife or some magic in my hands and I became something else entirely. And I wasn’t even sure if the Undersea had made me that way or if it was who I was all along.

But I’d never intended to lie to anyone about who or what I was. Except for Gram, who would always see me as human. But Kai, Barren, and Leander? I never wanted to deceive them.

“Barren says they’re even hiding out on the island,” Kai continued, his voice softening to a sleepy murmur. “Pretending to be human. Can you believe it? But I guess you already know that.” He sighed. “I wish he’d told us sooner. The dude knows practically everything and just guards all of it. I really admire that about him, but if we’d known, maybe we could’ve been more careful, you know? Maybe the dark spawn wouldn’t have found you.”

“None of this is Barren’s fault. Not even close.” I swallowed hard, trying to steady my voice, but it was no use. “Kai… why do you think they took me?”

He didn’t answer right away, and for a second, I thought maybe he’d fallen asleep.

“Because you’re the only one of us who can still go in the water,” he said with enough certainty to make my stomach plummet. “Maybe they’re afraid you’ll find a way to break our curse?”

Wrong. My pulse rose in my ears, the panic seeping in faster now. It hurt to hear him so sure, so trusting in something that wasn’t even close to the truth.

“And why do you think the curse doesn’t affect me?” I asked, my voice becoming too small, too fragile.

He shifted then, abandoning any attempt at sleeping to roll me over so that I could meet his gaze. His eyes were heavy-lidded, dark with exhaustion, but when he looked at me, there was nothing but warmth inside them. “Because you’re amazing.”

Amazing. I felt my lips twitch into a faint smile, but my thoughts were spinning too fast to keep it there.

I was amazing, but not in a way that he would find appealing. Not in a way anyone without similar magic would understand. And it hurt.

Damn, it hurt more than anything I’d ever felt.

“Kai…” My voice broke, splintering to nothing, and I could only shake my head.

It was rare for me to view my underwater self as anything other than useless. But now that I had my magic? For the first time, I was beginning to understand why sea witches were so rightfully feared. If Kai thought ordinary cecaelia were bad, would that make me even worse in his eyes?

As soon as we got back, I’d sit them down and find a way to tell them. If the spells on my tongue prevented me from doing it myself, I’d ask Barren to help. I would show them my magic, let them see what I could do, and then they could choose for themselves if they could accept who I truly was.

“Why are you shaking your head?” Kai asked, his smile tilting. “You’re absolutely incredible, Claira.” The tenderness in his voice made my chest ache even more. He leaned in, his smile turning sad. “You know, when Abyssal took you, I?—”

“Wait. Abyssal? ” My eyebrows tightened together. “You… know him?”

Kai’s body went totally stiff. “Um. Unfortunately,” he said quietly, looking like admitting it had caused him physical pain.

“ How? ” How could Kai know my Abyssal? How did he even know his name?

Kai’s gaze drifted, growing distant. “It was before I met you.” He paused, squeezing his eyes shut. “And that’s how I know he’s the worst of them all.”

The worst of them all? “No, I… I don’t think that’s true.”

Kai’s eyes snapped back open, his attention fixing on me with a troubled frown. “It is true,” he whispered. “He… he took my sister from me.”

“ What? ” I gasped, my defenses rising. That couldn’t be right. I’d spent more time with Abyssal than anyone and had seen who he really was. I shook my head, unwilling to accept it. “You said it was the curse. That’s how she got lost. The curse, Kai. Not him.”

Kai’s mouth wobbled, his face tight with the kind of pain that looked like it could eat right through him. “I know. I did say that. But Freechia, she… she disappeared right after he showed up. It can’t be a coincidence.”

“So, naturally, he did it?” My emotions were rising, a dark storm churning inside me. “Did you see him take her?”

Kai hesitated. “Well, no. But I know just from meeting him. I know he isn’t good.”

“Isn’t ‘good’? ” I... I couldn’t believe it.

“No, there—there’s more to it,” he tried to say, but I just kept shaking my head.

I stared at him, unable to hide my disappointment. Kai saw the good in everyone, in everything. How could he possibly be treating Abyssal like everyone else did? Why did everyone think the worst of him?

Those gemstone eyes fell away, their brilliance dimming. “You don’t believe me.” His voice was so quiet that he nearly mouthed the words.

“I’m not sure what I believe,” I said carefully. “But I do know that I trust Abyssal.”

Kai’s frown was more than just a frown. His entire expression fell, and I could feel the shift in him, revealing the hurt I’d just inflicted. “That’s what he wants, Claira. For you to trust him,” he rasped, his hand squeezing mine. “We need to get you on land. Away from... this. Back to your mates.”

Back to my mates. But what he meant was to get me back to a place where Abyssal didn’t exist.

I should have dropped it, but something inside me wouldn’t let me leave it there. So I asked it—the question that had terrified me from the moment I’d realized that Abyssal’s voice had called to me, too. “Would you still want to be my mate if I also accepted someone like him?”

Kai went stiff. “What?” He turned to face me fully, his eyes wide with disbelief. “You wouldn’t.”

But I was already shaking, the words spilling out before I could stop them. “Maybe I would.”

For a long moment, the silence between us was deafening. His body was rigid beside mine, and even with our arms tied together, he felt further from me than ever. But then, slowly, he brought his arms around me again, and his face sank to my shoulder.

“That dark spawn isn’t your mate. I know he’s not.” His grip tightened, and I could feel the tremor in his voice as he whispered, “But if you did accept him, I’d stay by your side, Claira. I’d protect you from him until you saw the demon he really is.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was too terrified of losing Kai once he saw the demon I really was.

This hadn’t been the right way to go about it, but I couldn’t help how possessive I was over Abyssal. Over any of them. Dammit , I couldn’t stop shaking. Freaking thrall.

Kai brushed a thumb across my cheek, grounding me with his touch. “You’re seriously freezing. I don’t remember you ever feeling this cold.”

I was barely paying attention to anything but this incredible ache, this suffocating fear growing inside me. “I’m so sorry, Kai,” I whispered while I still had the courage. “My mind is such a mess right now.”

His thumb stilled on my cheek. “You should rest, then,” he suggested gently. He pressed a kiss to the back of my shoulder before breaking into a yawn. “We both need it. Plus, it’ll give these marks time to heal before anyone else sees them.”

“Are they bad?” I asked, stifling my own yawn.

“Um. They’re pretty noticeable.”

So, we were pretending that none of what we’d said had just happened. Maybe that was fine for now—at least until I had a chance to talk to all three of them.

“I guess we don’t want Lee attacking you as soon as we get back.” But even as I joked, my mind wouldn’t let it go.

“Lee’s not the issue,” he muttered, a shudder rippling through his shoulders. “It’s Barren who worries me.”

“Hmm…” I hummed, thinking it over. Barren was pretty protective, wasn’t he? I could see why Kai would be concerned.

Kai’s thumb caught my attention as it stroked my cheek, tracing a delicate pattern that seemed to chase away some of the terror. I leaned into it, and with every gentle sweep, my eyelids grew heavier.

Would he still hold me like this once he found out the truth?

His lips brushed my shoulder as he murmured something I couldn’t quite catch. Exhaustion overtook me, and our colorful cave faded away as I slipped into the quiet embrace of darkness.