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Barren

S weat seeped through my clothes as I sat on the floor of my bedroom, my back pressed against the foot of my mattress.

As it turned out, tuning into the thoughts of those around me was nothing compared to infiltrating dreams. I was prepared for somnial drifting to be difficult, but it was taking an even greater toll on my body than I’d expected.

I threw my head back, inhaling deeply, my knuckles aching from the tight grip I had on my kingdom’s trident.

Alhey .

Once again, I’d failed to reach her.

Claira—wherever she was—was asleep, and yet I wasn’t strong enough, my mind lacking the focus I needed to connect to her dream.

The bedposts rattled as I released the trident, letting it fall to the floor beside me. Upon hearing the sudden clank, Spraut’s ears perked up. He let out an annoyed meow from his cozy spot on my bed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, my throat too dry for much sound to come out. I reached up to the chain around my neck and traced my fingers over the links, pausing to brush my thumb over the pearl nestled inside the small cage hanging at the end.

So far, my abilities had proven to be limited. I’d only managed to fully delve into Spraut’s dreams, perhaps only because he slept in the same room I was practicing in.

And while my mind told me Claira was too distant, likely too immersed in the depths of the Undersea for me to connect with her, my heart knew different.

I wouldn’t give up. Never.

If my father could connect with clients he barely knew who were continents away, I’d be able to connect with my mate, no matter how vast the physical distance that separated us was.

It didn’t matter that my father’s situation had been different or that somnial drifting was a skill he’d mastered after fusing with the trident. My natural abilities far surpassed his. If there were a way to do it without taking in the trident, I would find it.

And if I couldn’t…

My insides twisted. I saw my father’s face, gaunt and near death, burned into my memory. It was a fate I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. A fate that already seemed inevitable for Leander.

I’d do it if I had to.

For her, I would fuse with the trident’s power. I would make things right. But not until I was absolutely certain my strength alone wasn’t enough.

And my mind was already getting stronger.

Even without fusing with the trident, I’d gotten to where the thrall led me right to Claira’s subconscious. Her energy was like a path that my instinct knew to follow. But finding a way in once I got to her required patience that I’d yet to master. Not like with Spraut, whose mind was open to me, easier to infiltrate.

Claira was different. Since leaving us, her mind seemed to have become tightly woven. Guarded. I wondered if she’d intentionally shut herself away from others. From me .

Maybe she had.

I’d only briefly connected to her dream once, but my intrusion through the barrier of her mind had been too forceful—like a sledgehammer breaking down a door. Her dream had collapsed around us both, thrusting me right back into my consciousness, and I’d spent the rest of the night and the following day practicing on Spraut .

I’d thought I would succeed this time, but I was mistaken.

I’d struggled too long trying to find a way in, and I’d lost the connection to her before I’d even attempted to enter her dream.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead and stood up with a grunt. Unfastening my brace, I peeled off my drenched shirt and stumbled toward the bathroom, deliberately ignoring the dusty surfaces and discarded, sweat-stained clothes littering my bedroom.

My jaw clenched. No . There was no time to worry about that.

I needed a shower and maybe some food, then I would try again. Hopefully, Claira would be in a deeper sleep by then, her mind less guarded. Then I’d be sure to be more careful and decisive with my approach.

It was the quickest shower I’d ever taken. My hair was still dripping wet when I refastened my brace across my chest. Then I threw on some sweatpants before going to see what was left in the fridge.

When I returned to the trident minutes later, my stomach was barely satisfied by the simple meal I’d hastily put together and devoured. But it was enough to keep me going. I fastened my necklace back around my neck and took a seat on the floor.

Claira . I pressed the caged pearl to my lips before picking up the long pole of the trident. Be asleep. Please .

I refreshed the illusion I’d cast over my home to keep merfolk from finding it before closing my eyes, focusing entirely on my mate—the sweet scent that clung to her, the curve of her lips, the gentle beat of her pulse.

Her soul knew my heart as well as I knew hers. They sang to one another. If I kept trying, I had to hope Claira would eventually open up to me—that her mind would recognize who I was and let me in.

The trident’s power hummed beneath my hand as the world around me fell away to the darkness of the dream realm, a place not meant to be intruded upon by outsiders. Unsettling as it was disorienting, it was like being swallowed by shadows, but this was nothing to me. I was long accustomed to attuning to the forbidden thoughts of others, crossing boundaries one shouldn’t.

That had been solely for survival, but this was for something of even greater importance.

Claira .

I needed to apologize. To correct our misunderstanding. I had to tell her I knew what she was and that I didn’t fear her or her kind.

More than that, I wanted to tell her I loved her. That I would always love her, and that I would wait for her, no matter how long it took for her to let go of her fears and return to us.

There were so many things I needed to say… If only I were better at expressing myself through words.

But I could only do my best. And if I failed, I’d try again.

A path appeared before me, a shimmering thread in the darkness, and I followed it without hesitation. Her presence grew more prominent, drawing me in as it had earlier until I faced the familiar barrier of her subconscious.

There she was, hidden somewhere in the center, lost in a dream as tightly woven as it had been during my previous attempt. I held back, refraining from delving too deeply without a clear way inside.

There had to be a way in without breaking through.

Gradually, I focused on the pull of the thrall —the bond that tethered our souls together.

My heart sings for you.

I reached out, brushing against the barrier of her subconscious, willing my thoughts to drift inside.

Can you hear it? Let me in . Let me reach you .

And then I felt it—the gentle answer of her emotions coming from the barrier, like a soft current pulling me closer to her dream.

There it was. The opening I needed.

My senses fell away as I passed through the wall of her mind—smell, touch, sound, sight, taste. And instead of panicking as I had the first time I’d passed into Spraut’s dream, I waited to see which of them would return to me.

Gradually, I became aware of the pressure of my brace, the fabric of my sweatpants grazing my legs, and heard the sound of my own labored breaths.

I’d done it. Finally. My intrusion hadn’t caused it to collapse.

After endless days of relentless effort, I was inside Claira’s dream.

I took a few more breaths to steady myself, committing to memory everything I’d done differently during this attempt.

Had the dream taken place underwater, I would have refused to open my eyes for fear of what I might see. But this was land, and as my sight returned, unfamiliar surroundings greeted me.

A bedroom.

It was cozy, with painted furniture and brightly colored bedding featuring glittering horses reared up for battle with weapons jutting from their foreheads. An array of pocket knives sat haphazardly alongside the trinkets and delicate figurines covering the dressers while a fish’s tail hung proudly on one wall.

And even though I’d never seen the inside of Claira’s room at her family’s house, I immediately recognized it as hers.

“Mmh.” It was a shame she’d never seen me in my armor. She seemed to have such an appreciation for blades, and I suddenly felt the desire to know what she would think of my spear.

A sharp sting jolted through my mind, causing the scene around me to flicker and blur.

No . I’d almost lost it. But I was so close to her. Far too close to lose control now.

Gritting my teeth, I focused my energy, willing my surroundings back into focus.

I was strong enough to handle this—I had to be. I just needed to hurry and find her.

It didn’t take long for me to notice the door that was slightly ajar. As I drew closer, a faint sniffle reached my ears, wrapping urgency around my every thought.

I took hold of the door, peering into the darkness as I eased it open. “Claira?” Even in the dream world, my voice emerged as a harsh rasp, my throat tight from days of disuse.

I swung the door wider, revealing the cluttered darkness within. Claira was huddled in the corner of what appeared to be a closet, clutching a notebook and pen in her hands. Light from the adjacent bedroom spilled in, illuminating the books and crumpled papers strewn across the floor around her.

She raised her head, her gray eyes shining with unshed tears. The light hit her eyes, and she recoiled in pain. My heart clenched at the sight.

“Barren,” she squeaked, dropping her pen to swipe the back of her arm over her eyes. “What are—what are you doing in here?”

My jaw opened, but words failed to form on my tongue. Everything I’d carefully prepared to say seemed to vanish the moment I saw her tears.

Why was she crying? What had brought her to the point where even her dreams were filled with sorrow?

“I-I’m just working on some homework,” she stammered, trying her best to hide her distress. “For school.”

The closet’s walls seemed to shift to accommodate my size as I stepped inside of it, crouching down in front of her. I reached out, brushing my thumb over her cheek even as she tried to hide her eyes behind her hands.

She stiffened at my touch, her fingers curling into fists. “Wait, I… I don’t still go to school, do I?”

My lips tightened, and I shook my head.

“Claira,” I murmured, my voice rough with worry. “You don’t have to hide your tears from me. Please. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, a sob shaking her tiny frame. Her tears flowed freely now, leaving wet trails down her cheeks. “I–I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not.”

A frown settled over my mouth, yet I continued to listen, the weight of the emotions in her voice pressing on me as if that raw ache were my own.

“I almost betrayed you, Barren. All of you,” she said before dropping her voice to a pained whisper. “I almost let him kiss me. How—how would I have been able to live with myself if I’d let him do it?”

She crawled closer to me then, her hands clutching at the strap of my brace. With all her strength, she forcefully tugged at me, coaxing me down to the floor with her.

“What would you have done if I had, Barren?” Her eyes were wide and searching, vulnerable and desperate. She was unsteady, teetering on my lap, prompting me to secure my arm around her waist for support. “Would you hate me?” she whispered, shadows forming over her eyes. “Even more than you hate me now?”

Hate her?

The unexpected sting of it shocked through me, and words instantly rushed to my tongue. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you,” I rumbled, desperate for her to believe me. “Claira, I love— Mmmh .”

I broke off with a groan as her fingertips dug into my chest. Her head turned up unexpectedly, pressing kisses under my jaw. All other thoughts clouded as she kissed along my neck, her lips soft and searching, sending my eyes rolling back of their own accord.

“I miss you,” she whimpered, fanning warm breath against my neck in a way that sent all my blood rushing low. She leaned into me, her body seeking solace against my chest as her lips lingered on my skin. “I wish I would have never left.”

What could I say? How could I explain to her that I was really here and this was more than a dream? “I know why you did it,” I forced out, my deep voice straining. My hand spread along her back as I drew her into an embrace. “The reason you left? I understand why. I know what you are, and I?—”

“ Shhhh… ” She pulled back, lightly touching a finger to my lips. Her eyes were filled with tears again, and I could see fresh agony reflected in them. “Barren, please ,” she pleaded, her voice breaking, “You know I don’t want to think about that.”

Her frown suddenly softened, and she caressed the side of my jaw with a tenderness that ignited a longing deep inside me. “You’re here to comfort me, aren’t you? I need you to hold me… To make me forget.”

The pull of the thrall was undeniable.

My mate wanted my comfort. To make her forget the cause of her tears and every reason that led her to huddle alone in this darkness.

I’d do whatever it took to ease her pain and make her feel safe.

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and when she brought her lips to mine, I surrendered to her. She kissed me deeply, her body clinging to mine with an almost painful urgency. I kissed her back just as desperately, doing all I could to let her know she was free to use my body however she saw fit.

I’d be anything she needed. Now and forever. Because after all the effort I’d put into reaching her, I was finally here, and nothing else mattered but her—my mate, whose heart resonated perfectly with mine.

For a moment, I’d forgotten we were still in a dream. That is, until her clothing vanished away, leaving my palm spread along the bare skin of her lower back. My jaw clenched as I realized the full extent of the shift. Even my sweatpants were gone—she’d transitioned the dream so that my brace was all that remained between us.

She came up for air, murmuring “Poseidon’s balls” as soon as she broke away from our kiss. Her hands traced the lines of muscles on my chest and shoulders as she moved to straddle me, grinding against my arousal. “You’re huge.”

“Mmh.” It wasn’t unexpected, considering the way her lips had me throbbing, the ache quickly growing harder and heavier, too intense to ignore.

But I would resist it—this was her dream, and she was in control. I had to keep her comfortable and not take things too far or too fast. I’d give her whatever she needed, but only if I was sure she wanted it.

She leaned back, inspecting the area between my legs further, and I tensed at the sight of her bare breasts before me.

“Barren,” she breathed out, laying a hand on my arm. She brought her bottom lip between her teeth before subtly arching her chest forward, luring me in to admire her curves. She glanced up at me through her lashes, murmuring, “Aren’t you going to help me forget?”

With no hesitation, I leaned in and pressed my lips to one of her breasts, taking a nipple into my mouth and sucking gently. She arched into me with a gasp, tangling a hand in my hair while the other clawed up my shoulder.

But I was already pulling her closer. Her silken stomach was warm against my chest as I held her up against me, lowering both of us to the floor.

I’d always wanted to pin her underneath me—to feel her body writhing and begging for my touch. And it was more incredible than I’d ever imagined, even better than a dream, touching her without fear or hesitation, without worrying if she thought my body was tainted.

My tongue flicked, light and teasing, tracing every curve of her breast until the nipple had hardened to a throbbing point. I pressed my lips against it in a kiss, then one to the other side, her shoulders wiggling as I abandoned them both to make my way lower.

“Barren…” My name was a moan on her lips as her hips arched toward me, a desperate search for more pleasure.

It was all the encouragement I needed. My lips pressed hungrily against her skin, trailing a heated path down her toned stomach. One deep kiss, followed closely by another. Even as she squirmed underneath me, I kept my legs firmly on either side of her, pinning her in place.

Another kiss, and her breathing grew shallow, her body tensing like she was already anticipating the next.

“You want me to make you forget?” My voice was rough, thick with desire, as I shifted my legs to nudge one of hers aside. I glanced up at her while softly kissing her lower belly just to confirm it.

“Please,” she pleaded, although the word wasn’t needed. She was already begging me with her eyes, her fingers moving to toy with the curls falling over my forehead.

I pushed her leg up higher, and the sound of her ragged breath was an intoxicating melody to my ears. I sat back so my hand could slide down the smooth skin of her inner thigh, savoring each touch as I searched for the best spot to brace my weight.

With a smooth movement, I hooked my arm underneath her leg, bringing her inner thigh to my lips as I settled between her legs.

Her head rolled back, her teeth clenching even before I brought my mouth to her center. But when that first kiss pressed against her softness, she let out a small cry of surprise, her hips rising to meet my kiss.

And as far as kisses went, it was the most thorough one I’d ever given. I took my time, tracing the delicate skin with the tip of my tongue before delving deeper, seeking out any hints as to what she enjoyed the most.

Claira moaned and bucked against me, urging me on with her hips, and I was all too willing to oblige.

I would do whatever she wanted; she could use me in any way that brought her pleasure. I’d give her everything she desired and more.

She let out a sharp gasp, her nails biting into my shoulders as my tongue found her most sensitive spot, circling it slowly before applying more pressure.

“Ba—Barren!”

“ Mmmh .” I groaned against it, satisfied by how desperate she was to hold my face even closer to her. Her moans came out in longer intervals, her body tensing more with every stroke of my tongue and gentle tug from my lips.

And then she shattered, crying out as she reached her peak. Her body trembled in my arm, my hand going to stroke her stomach as I continued to lap at her slowly. When her spine finally collapsed back to the floor, I pressed soothing kisses against her until she finally gave in and relaxed completely.

Her legs fell open, limp and boneless, as I slowly pulled away.

“That was amazing,” she whispered, her eyes hazy and a contented smile pulling at her lips. “You’re amazing.”

“I’ll do anything to make you happy,” I replied sincerely, my voice gruff with arousal. Seeing her like this… It made me wish I could always be with her. That all of us were still together. That we could be whole again. “Anything you need.”

She bit her lip, reaching down to knot her fingers in my hair. “You always make me happy,” she said, renewed desire flashing in her eyes as she attempted to pull me back down to her. “But I could stand to be happier, I suppose.”

“Yes, I’m yours,” I agreed, my jaw tight as I nodded.

With that, she threw her arms around my neck, pulling me in for another kiss. Even if it was a dream, the thought of her tasting her own satisfaction on my lips made my arousal steel against my thigh. I deepened the kiss, my tongue seeking hers, finding it eager and ready to meld with mine.

She broke away suddenly, her voice a needy rasp. “You know I want more.” Hungry eyes bore into mine, their desire searing through me. “Barren, I need you, all of you, please. I want to feel you inside me, stretching and filling me up until I can’t take anymore.”

My throat tightened, her words striking a clarity in me that halted me completely.

To her, this was only a dream. A safe place to indulge in her deepest fantasies. And I was invading that space without her knowledge or permission.

This was no different than reading her mind, intruding on her innermost thoughts.

“I’m so sorry, Claira. This is more than a dream,” I confessed, struggling to find the right words to explain. “My father called it somnial drifting. I took my kingdom’s trident to use its power so I could?—”

“Trident?” She pushed against my chest, cutting off my words. “I don’t want to talk about tridents .” Despair clouded her eyes. “Just take me to my bed,” she pouted, her fingers looping over the strap of my brace. “I want you, Barren. Please.”

My teeth gnashed, every muscle in my neck tensing at her plea.

Well… If Claira was determined to think this was only a dream, then I would continue to make it a dream she wouldn’t forget.

She wound her arms around my neck as I lifted her from the floor, her soft breath tickling my skin. “You’re so strong,” she murmured, nuzzling against my neck in a way she never had in reality.

“Mmh,” I grunted, carrying her out of the closet and into her bedroom.

Once there, it didn’t take long to notice the bedding had changed. Instead of war horses, a deep maroon comforter was perfectly laid out, with an inviting row of plush velvet pillows sitting at the head of the bed.

All the knives, the trinkets… all of it was gone. Now, the room was bare and orderly, and I wondered if her mind had done it for her or for me.

Gently, I sat her down on the bedding, unable to keep my hand from tracing the swell of her hip as I let her go.

“Mmm, Barren,” she moaned, her hands immediately finding their way to my thighs. She grasped at my arousal, taking the underside of it into her hand as if weighing it in her palm, and every muscle in my body tensed at her touch.

“Is this how much you missed me?” she asked, looking up at me through hooded eyes.

“Yes,” I groaned, deep and laden with a need that I was unsure I should satisfy. “And more. Much more.”

As she continued to stroke me, I reached out, my fingers brushing against the side of her soft cheek.

My chest ached, seeing all the love and lust in her eyes as she touched me, not knowing that I was really here with her.

“Claira.” I caressed her bottom lip with the edge of my thumb. “I love you,” I managed to say, hoping that the words would stay with her even after the dream had ended. Perhaps the next time her tears threatened to fall, she might remember this moment.

Her hand paused on my arousal as she looked up at me, her lips parting in question. “I… love you, too, Barren,” she said carefully, as though she thought it should have been obvious to me.

I couldn’t help but crack a smile at that.

“You’re everything to me,” I continued, grappling for the words I’d already spent hours rehearsing to say, “I’ll wait for you as long as it takes, and I want you to know?—”

Claira’s eyes widened just as a pain shot through my head, my body seizing.

No.

I could feel my focus slipping, my power struggling to maintain the connection, to stay with her?—

“Barr—”

She was the first to vanish, and the rest of the dream was quick to follow. Darkness closed around me, engulfing all light and sound as I crashed back into my body.

I woke up on the floor, gasping for air, the trident tangled between my legs.

“ Alhey, ” I cursed, shoving it aside.

None of that had gone as I’d intended.

She’d woken up—before I could even get out all that I needed to say.

I checked the state of my sweatpants and cursed again, flipping over onto my back. My teeth ground as I stared up at the ceiling.

I hadn’t even entered her… Was it when I pleasured her with my mouth?

The light coming in my patio told me it was morning already, which meant those few moments I’d spent with Claira had actually lasted hours.

“ Mrreow? ” Spraut’s head popped up at the end of my bed, peering down at me, yet I was too embarrassed to face him.

I would need another shower. Maybe I’d even do some laundry.

Then, I would wait for the next time she fell asleep and try to reach her again.