Page 57 of Coercion

I try to soothe her, I try to reason with her but she’s too lost in her panic to hear it.

In the end, I carry her back up to our bed and wrap the covers around her. It’s clear she’s having a panic attack, I just don’t understand what brought it on.

“You’re okay.” I murmur, trying to sound comforting, trying tobecomforting, as if I even know what that looks like. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

“I didn’t mean…” She gasps, burying her face into my chest. “I wasn’t snooping. I wasn’t…” Her voice trails off as her words turn to sobs.

So thatisit. She thinks she’s in trouble for being in my office? She thinks I’m going to punish her for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

I shake my head, tightening my arms around her in a way I hope feels protective rather than aggressive. “I know you weren’t.” I state. “You were sleep walking. I followed you from our room. I was behind you the entire time…”

She looks up at me as if trying to hear the lie and her eyes widen as those words sink in.

“You, you followed me?” She repeats.

“When you got up, I asked where you were going and you didn’t reply. You seemed off. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

She shudders, relaxing a little, but I can hear her breath is still shaky; she’s still not back to normal.

I place a kiss on her head, I stroke her hair, trying to flatten some of the frizz.

“I trust you.” I state.

She gulps, blinking at me. “You, you trust me?” She says in obvious disbelief.

“I trust you.” I repeat. “You can go anywhere in this house, you can look through any drawer, anything you like.” I don’t add that the reason is there’s nothing here of merit, that I’ve alreadytaken all the sensitive papers and locked them away because that won’t ease her fears right now, that won’t calm her.

“Why?” She asks.

“Why what?”

“Why do you trust me? You don’t even know me, I could be a spy, I could be…” My fingers over her lips silence her rushed words.

“You’re not.” I say simply. “You’re not a spy, you’re not up to anything nefarious. You’re my wife, and you have every right to do as you wish in this house.”

She gives me a look like she doesn’t quite believe me. As though this is a trick I’m playing. Luring her in only to punish her later.

“Do you often sleepwalk?” I ask.

She shrugs, dropping her gaze. “I guess so. My room was always locked so I couldn’t even if I’d tried.”

“They locked you in?”

She draws in a breath like she wanted to keep that fact a secret. “It was for my safety.” She murmurs but we both know that’s bullshit. Clearly, Levi really did keep her like a prisoner.

“What were you dreaming about?” I ask.

She bites her lip, shuts her eyes and then those tears are streaming down her cheeks.

“Ruby?” I coax.

“I saw him,” She sobs. “I always see him.”

“Your father?” I guess.

She nods, palming her face with her hands. “I can’t help him. It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t save him.”

“Ssssh,” I rock her in my arms, soothing her as best I can. The rumours were they shot him right in front of her, though I don’t know how anyone but those present would know, and it’s not like Levi wants to shout out about it.