Page 12

Chapter Twelve

Rainn

It takes a week for Larek to feel strong enough to return home with his mate. Axum told them they could have stayed longer, but they said they didn’t want to put him out. I believe they were just being polite, that they would be more comfortable around their own things and in their own home while Larek was still healing. I had to nudge Axum to stop pressuring them to stay. His heart was in the right place, but it was obvious my mate did not know how to read the room.

Both Axum and I accompanied them home on a pair of Rhipponek—surrounded by twenty of his most trained guards. Larek and his mate thanked us profusely for our hospitality. Axum told Larek he could come back to work only after he had fully healed, and we also promised we’d come visit every day.

Since Axum is down an advisor, he’s been working longer hours, not coming back to our room until late in the night.

Tonight is no different. What is different is the sound of frustration I hear when he’s removing his clothing to take a bath. Most nights, I wake up and he’s already in bed. This is the first time he’s woken me.

“Axum?” I ask sleepily, peeling my eyes open and blinking to bring him into focus. “You okay?”

He sighs and kneels beside the bed, pulling my hand to his lips to kiss the back. “I am sorry I woke you. It has just been a long day, that is all.”

I sit up, sliding closer to the edge of the bed so my legs are on either side of his head. He leans against my thigh, wrapping his arms around me. I rub his hair, my fingers gliding through the silky strands. “What’s wrong?”

Axum shakes his head, sighing into my thigh. “I do not wish to burden you with my problems.”

“Your problems are my problems, Axum. We’re mates. Mates in my world share their problems. Isn’t it the same here?”

He blows out a long breath. “Yes, but…I am the emperor. I am supposed to have the answers to the problems. It is my job.”

“Oh, Axum,” I say in an exasperated tone. “No one has all the answers, no matter their position. If your mate isn’t the one you talk to, then who is? I know Olog and Larek are great advisors, but I know you won’t let your guard down with them because of your position. But you can with me. You are the emperor, but we’re also a team. If your mate isn’t the one that you can lean on, then who is?”

He lifts his head, looking at me with searching eyes. “I have never had anyone I can bare my soul to or all of my indecisions or failures with. If I were to tell my advisors, I fear someone would overhear and deem me unsuitable for my role. I cannot bear that. I want to right the wrongs my sire wrought, but I cannot do that if I am second-guessed.”

Framing his face, I say, “You can tell me anything and I wouldn’t say a word. Do you trust me?”

“More than you know,” he answers without missing a beat.

“Good.” I give him a quick kiss and slide off the bed. “Come on.” I drag him to his feet—with a lot of help from him—and pull him into the room with the bathing pool. I undress him and then myself, leading him into the cold water. Axum warms it with a few words in Orcish and we sink into the depths.

Axum sighs, pulling me to him so I can wrap my legs around his waist. I push his hair back, meeting his gaze. “What is it, baby? Tell me the problem. Maybe I won’t be able to give you advice, but talking about it could help.”

“It is not that I do not know the path forward. It is that the path forward is not what I want. If the band of orcs were just opposing me without trying to assassinate me, I would allow them to disagree in peace. I cannot make everyone assent to my rule. But if they did try to kill me, they must die. I do not take pleasure in handing down a death sentence, but the laws of Daz Vrorkrad are clear. Any threats on my life will earn an automatic death sentence.”

I let out a sad sigh. I can see why he isn’t feeling like himself. Axum is not a person that revels in violence and knowing he has to put someone to death will eat away at him.

I hug him, hoping to put all my love and strength into it. “I know it’s hard. I know it’s not what you want to do, but if it’s the law, the orcs that tried to kill you know that. They knew the laws of the kingdom and chose to try to kill you anyway. They knew the risk if they didn’t succeed and did it without regard to their own lives. You’re lucky to be alive. You said there were, what, ten orcs surrounding you?” He gives a clipped nod. “I don’t think they felt any guilt when they attacked you because they didn’t think you’d walk away.”

His eyes still look tortured. “You are right, but it does not make it any easier. I have been going back and forth on if I should have all of them set to hang or just the ones involved in the attack.”

“I would be worried if it were an easy decision. Not enjoying the thought of putting someone to death is admirable, even if you know it has to be done.”

“You truly believe that?”

“I do,” I say, hoping he hears in my voice that I’m telling him the truth. “What do your advisors say?”

“They are in agreement with me. They will all have to die. I just wish there was another way.”

“I know you do, my love. Don’t feel bad about upholding the law. It was your life or theirs. Some of them already paid for their crimes, but who's to say the ones left won’t try again? More cleverly the next time. I don’t like to think about what you have to do either, but if it’s between you and them, I’d rather you stay above ground.”

“If I do this…will you…would you see me as a bad person?”

Smiling sadly at him, I say, “No, baby. Of course not. You’re not excited about having to put people to death. I know you’re still troubled about having to kill the orcs that ambushed you.” He looks relieved at my answer. “I have an alternative for you, if you’re looking for another option.”

“I would love to hear whatever it is you think could help.”

“If you find all of the rogue orcs, the ones not directly involved with your ambush, hear them out, then sentence them to prison. They may not have wanted to attack you. They may have been outvoted or they may have not known at all. Trust your gut to make the decision. If your gut tells you they aren’t being truthful, then sentence them as you must. If you think otherwise, a long prison sentence would be a proper punishment. But don’t feel like you have to take my advice. Do what is best for you and the kingdom.”

Axum kisses me gently, sliding one hand into my hair while holding me under my ass with the other. “Thank you, sweet Rainn. That is an alternative I can live with. I will have Olog dig deep into our laws to see what an appropriate punishment would be if we are to locate every dissenter. A lengthy confinement sentence would be appropriate instead of capital punishment. If I know Nash, he will take care of the ones directly involved with Koth and his plans.”

Smiling, I wiggle until he lets me down and sit on the side of the bathing pool. I grab a bar of soap and a clean cloth and start to wash him up. It’s like I can see the tension leaving his body as I drag the cloth all over his back. “How do you feel now?”

“Better. My mind is clearer and I can see a path forward.” He smiles at me over his shoulder. “Because of you.”

My cheeks heat at his open compliment. “That’s what I’m here for. Anytime you want to talk to me about your problems, you can. I will always help you. Always. Even if you just need to vent in the bathing pool. Whatever you need from me.”

We’re silent for a few beats, the only sound is the water splashing as I rinse the suds from Axum’s skin. Then I ask, “Can you take a break tomorrow? I know you’re working hard, but you’ll run yourself into the ground if you keep it up. Just…one day?”

He turns to me, resting his hands on my hips. “I am the emperor of Daz Vrorkrad, sweet Rainn. I can take a break whenever I would like. Tomorrow, we shall go to my brook, where we can be alone.”

I kiss him deeply, wrapping my arm around his neck. “I’d like that. I’ll have a basket packed and we can spend the entire day together.”

“The entire day, my sweet Rainn.”