Page 39 of City of Promise and Light (Mates of Gods and Fae #1)

Sybil

W aking up, the sun burned my swollen eyes.

Wincing, I looked over, finding the place where Ambrose had slept now empty.

On the pillow, a note with my name written across in delicate handwriting lay waiting for me.

I breathed, pulling my hand against my too tight chest. After what happened yesterday with Arianna and Ambrose, I felt sick.

No matter how upset I was about losing control of my magic, I shouldn’t have let Ambrose stay.

I turned on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

Later.

I would read his note later.

Swallowing, I squeezed my eyes shut, my stomach turning with a sudden wave of panic.

Fresh tears burned my aching eyes, and I thought back to Arianna lying unconscious on the ground, blood pouring from her body.

And Ezra, the look on his face, so much like Liam’s. He was afraid of me—of what I could do.

I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes, choking back a sob. I failed. I failed Liam. I broke my promise and proved my father right. I was only going to hurt more people if I continued this way.

I turned over to my side, bringing my knees to my chest, curling myself into a ball.

My chest heaved and I gulped down air between my cries, making myself as small as I felt.

Pulling the blanket over my head, I wrapped it tight around me, making a tiny cocoon like I did as a child when the world felt like it was going to hell around me, except this time, it really was.

In the safe confines of my shroud, my tears finally slowed but still fell.

I spiraled deeper into the despair that gripped me tight before exhaustion pulled me into a fitful slumber.

The sound of my door swinging open startled me from my sleep. Gasping, I jerked up, pushing myself back into the headboard, my magic prickling in my hands, ready to erupt.

I blinked when Samian rushed into my bedroom, freezing at the door. His face was pale, and his eyes filled with concern. My heart pounded when he cursed and rushed over to me. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to face him—to hear how much I had disappointed him, how I failed again.

Stretching his arms toward me, I strangled out a breath, icy panic taking over and I jerked away from him.

Samian paused, his face falling. His arms dropped, unsure of what to do.

His throat bobbed and he looked away from me, but a too-calm silence fell over the room when his eyes narrowed on the note I had forgotten about on my pillow.

My stomach twisted, my heart raced when he picked up the note, opening it to read what was written inside.

His face was blank—utterly unreadable. His body went rigid; his eyes locked on the note. His magic was the only way I could sense the fury he was feeling. The ground, even the walls, seemed to shake as that quiet rage slowly took over him.

Crumpling the note, Samian cut his sharp gaze to mine and released a furious breath. “He offered you the bargain again.” It wasn’t a question. His voice trembled in effort to hold back his outrage.

I couldn’t answer him. I wasn’t able to answer him. My body shuddered and I couldn’t tell if it was from my fear of Samian’s wrath or the fear of what my answer would be if he asked me what I chose to do.

“Answer me,” Samian said too quietly.

I shivered, blinking back the burn in my eyes. I swallowed and watched the way Samian tracked the bob of my throat. I nodded then, too afraid to speak the words out loud.

“You will not take that bargain,” Samian growled through clenched teeth, his eyes glinting with rage. “Do you understand me? You will not agree to it. Tell me you will not agree to it, Sybil.”

The picture of Arianna’s body and Ezra’s terror flashed through my mind, and I winced. “What choice do I have?” I cried, my hands curling into tight fists. “You heard what happened. You know what I did! How can you say that when you know it will happen again?” My voice cracked.

“ You have every choice ,” he roared, making me shrink into myself as he stepped closer to me. “You have every choice, Sybil,” he said once more, his voice softening. “Please don’t agree to this.”

His eyes bore into mine, pleading with me—begging me—to agree. “What about Arianna?” I whispered, my chest tightening.

Samian snarled, low and vicious. “She’s fine. I saw her last night happily prancing around the palace. She’s no more hurt than you are. In fact, I’d say she’s feeling a lot better than you are now.”

No, that—that couldn’t be. She was badly hurt. She was…

“You’re wrong,” I whispered. “Ambrose told me last night. She’s still unconscious and wouldn’t wake for another day or so.”

“He lied to you,” Samian said flatly. “He’s been lying to you. Arianna is just fine, I promise you that.”

“No, that can’t be true. That’s not true. He wouldn’t lie to me. He just wants to help me.” Whether that was through the bargain or helping me with my magic, he had done nothing but help me—encourage me.

“Help you?” Samian’s laugh was cruel as he stepped away from me, roughly running a hand through his hair.

“Ambrose doesn’t want to help you,” he spat, turning back to face me.

There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes that sparked a storm in me that I hadn’t felt since coming to this realm.

“I’m the one trying to help you, Sybil. Ambrose just wants to use you—use your power. Open your eyes before it is too late.”

I scoffed. “You? Helping me?” I hissed, every word laced with venom.

“How have you helped me, Samian? The last time I checked, Ambrose was the one that helped me with my magic—my control. He was the one that showed me around the palace and the city to make me feel more comfortable in my new home . All you’ve done is just tell me to fucking breathe.

” My words grew louder, my heart pounded, and my hands started prickling from my power begging to be released.

Samian glowered at me, his eyes bright. The muscle in his jaw feathered, his hands clenched into tight fists, his breathing quickening. We glared at each other; the room seemed to quake from our ire. Finally, Samian let out a sharp breath and turned away, the fight in him vanishing .

He walked to the bedroom door, pausing once he reached the threshold.

“Rest today,” he said, his voice tight, refusing to look my way.

“Tomorrow you will be going with Arianna and Ezra to Lowbrook, a village on the outskirts of the city. Ambrose wants you there on their patrol to learn more about our realm.”

“And you?” I murmured, my voice empty.

Samian hesitated, the muscles in his back tightening. “I will be away.”

With that, Samian left, letting the door slam shut behind him.

I crumpled into the headboard, my control finally shattering as I covered my eyes with my hands and screamed. Whether in shame or anger, I wasn’t sure which. Maybe it was both—for letting things get this far, for how I treated Samian, for questioning Ambrose even though he has been so kind to me.

The lights around me brightened, the sound ringing in my ears before the glass of the lights—the windows—shattered, flying across the room.

I panted, the use of my magic so soon after yesterday made me feel tired and empty, like a shell of myself.

Pulling the soft plush blanket over my head, I slid down into the bed, letting misery and darkness take over.

I didn’t wake until the next morning when a soft knock gently pulled me from my sleep.

My eyes were puffy and I felt tired. So tired and weak.

The knock sounded again, and I huffed, sliding out of my warm cocoon to pad across my room to the door, ignoring the shards of broken glass on the floor as I went.

When I cracked it open, Ezra’s warm brown eyes greeted me.

Worry quickly flashed through them before disappearing, and he gave me a soft but timid smile.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, considering whether I should close the door and return to my bed, but the concern that flashed in his eyes…

I widened the door and moved aside for him to enter.

Stepping in the living area, Ezra wasted no time hurling me into a tight hug, making it hard for me to breathe.

Sputtering, I patted him on the arm. Ezra let me go, his laugh booming across the room as I gulped down air.

But his laugh grew silent when my eyes met his.

We shyly looked away, shame tightening my throat while Ezra rubbed the back of his neck, considering his next words.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” he finally said softly. “I should have been more forceful with Arianna. I should have stopped her and protected you better than that.”

I breathed, mustering up the courage to look at him, and when I did, his eyes looked so meek—so dejected. This giant bear of a man looked as if he was about to crumble—to be blown away by the slightest gust of wind.

It was genuine. His apology was genuine.

I swallowed, blinking back my tears, and looked at the floor, trying to find the words I wanted to ask but was too afraid to speak out loud.

Steeling myself, I wrapped my arms around me, my nails digging into my skin. My voice sounded so quiet—so hollow—as I asked, “Are you afraid of me now?”

Ezra sighed and gripped my shoulder tightly, but not enough to hurt.

“No. I’m not afraid of you. It was—I was more afraid for you than of you, if that makes sense.

Samian told me about how you’re afraid of your magic—of not being able to control it.

I was afraid of how the incident was going to affect you. ”

“You’re not afraid of me?” I breathed, more to myself as shock rippled through me.

Ezra’s deep laugh rumbled through me, easing the tension in my chest. “You’d be surprised how often something like this happens.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, it's not every day that someone brings two of the strongest fae in Volmire to their knees,” Ezra teased, lightening the mood, “but it does happen. If anything, you should be proud of yourself. No one will be looking at you like you’re fresh meat,” he winked.

“What about Arianna?” I sputtered, my mind whirling too fast at how carefree Ezra was acting.

“Eh, she’s fine,” Ezra waved, moving further into the living area.

“She needed someone to knock her on her ass, if you ask me. I would have done it eventually, but you beat me to it.” Another deep laugh reverberated from his chest. “Now,” he said, his voice turning stern, “Samian had to run off somewhere, but he asked me to help you get ready for your first patrol. Luckily, we’re not staying overnight so you don’t need much.

I’ve already packed a bag for you with some essentials, but I think you should refresh yourself.

You—ah—smell.” Ezra pinched his nose as he glanced at my rumpled night clothes.

I looked down, casually lifting my arms to sniff. Grimacing, my cheeks flushed, and I rushed to the bathroom, leaving Ezra sitting in a chaise that looked almost too small for his powerful body.

I quickly bathed and changed into a new uniform, feeling more refreshed and ready for the trip.

I still felt sick with what happened during training, but I swallowed back that guilt, making myself focus on the excitement I felt about going to Lowbrook.

After only seeing the palace and Volmire, I was ready to see more of Nemos—to learn more.

Braiding my damp hair, I ignored the glass thrown about the room and walked back into the living area while Ezra was plating a warm, savory pastry filled with ham and cheese.

My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled.

Too weak and lost in my despair after the incident, I didn’t have much of an appetite.

But now, I felt like that hunger was going to eat me alive.

“I saw the plates of food on a cart by your door. I figured you might be hungry,” Ezra said, handing me a plate.

My eyes widened. “There was food by the door?”

“Samian was worried about you yesterday. He said this was one of your favorites.”

I frowned, looking at the door as if Samian would stroll right in while Ezra ate his food. “He’d be right.” Taking a bite of the pastry, it tasted like ash on my tongue.

My heart squeezed. I couldn’t get our conversation out of my head.

I was awful to him, yet he still made sure I was taken care of.

He didn’t deserve me lashing out at him the way I did.

The truth was that Samian had been helping me.

If it weren’t for him, I would have probably stayed hidden in my room, too afraid to face this new world.

He had given me hope and friendship when I felt worthless.

He had stayed with me, patiently teaching me about what I could do.

Exhaling, I popped the last bite in my mouth, feeling more determined to make it up to Samian when I returned later today.