Page 27 of City of Promise and Light (Mates of Gods and Fae #1)
Sybil
T he day started off great. It really did.
After returning from my outing—not date—with Ambrose, I tried to practice my magic and failed completely.
It had taken me just an hour of either nothing happening or me blasting my books across the room to feel completely exhausted, my mind reduced to mush.
I finally gave up any attempt at control and slept so soundly that nothing had woken me until the sunlight brightened my room.
I woke up refreshed, hopeful that my struggle to get my magic under control and to not go haywire was just from the first day jitters.
I could feel the power writhing under my skin, stronger than yesterday. I couldn’t help the nerves that gathered in the pit of my stomach, but I felt optimistic about my training today.
Half of the new clothes Ambrose bought for me arrived late last night, which meant today I would be able to look and feel like I belonged here.
Sliding out of my bed, I took a quick bath before slipping into a burnt orange floor-length skirt and a black buttoned corset-like shirt with flowing sleeves that cuffed at my wrists.
Looking in the mirror, I braided my ashy hair that looked richer today, almost browner in color.
I pushed the thought aside, assuming it was a trick from the light.
Tying off my hair, I stared at my reflection, surprised and a little awed by what I saw staring back.
I looked soft, but powerful. I fisted my hands, rolling my shoulders back to stand tall and proud.
I would go to the library today and everything would go right.
My magic would be stable and not go crazy within seconds.
Unfortunately, that hope was doused within the first thirty minutes of my lesson.
Samian and I had our breakfast in the library again.
Even after my talk with Ambrose, I still wasn’t ready to have another run-in with Arianna and her haughty attitude or deal with everyone’s stares and not-so-quiet whispers.
We ate our breakfast while I told Samian about my day with Ambrose, not missing the way his mouth tightened every now and then.
After we finished our pastries, we immediately started working on my lesson for the day.
A lesson Samian said would be simple. I was tasked with forming a small ball of light, but at first, it was barely a pinprick of something .
It wasn’t quite a ball. It was hard to tell what form it had taken.
There were ridges and sharp edges that would start to smooth into a curve, only to suddenly morph back into a sharp edges before completely winking out or exploding in my face.
I shook out my hands, grinding my teeth together. “I just don’t understand,” I moaned, my body tight with frustration. It had been hours of creating either an explosion of light or nothing at all, and this task was starting to feel next to impossible.
“You’re thinking about this too hard. Your body is too tense, and your mind is unsettled. Calm your mind and let your body lead you,” Samian said calmly, his voice barely above a whisper. “It knows what to do; you just have to allow it to guide you.”
Letting out a loud groan, I threw my hands in the air, letting them fall on my face. I knew he meant well with keeping his voice calm and collected. But hearing it just pissed me off more. It felt like he didn’t understand how important it was for me to quickly get this under control.
“It’s not that simple, Samian,” I muttered through my hands.
Laughing, Samian walked over, gently pulling my hands from my face. The bastard looked serene, his eyes gleaming with amusement. I think he was enjoying watching my magic blow up in my face every few minutes. “Take a deep breath and relax. Why do you think it’s not that simple?”
“I don’t know! I just—I just… ” I trailed off, my throat growing tight, and I looked to the window, my vision blurring with hot tears.
Back home, I was known to be a perfectionist. Everything I touched had to be exactly right.
There could be no faults, no mistakes. Every year, I had it on my list of goals to work on, but it was always pushed aside to make room for other goals that seemed more important at the time.
Plus, what job ever complained about having a perfectionist on their team?
Samian sighed, taking my hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze.
An unreadable emotion flickered in his eyes, but before he could say anything—probably some grand but vague saying—someone behind me cleared their throat.
I turned further toward the window to hide my heated face as I fought to make my tears stop falling.
Samian walked over to whoever lingered by the bookcases, their soft murmurings echoing around me.
Samian returned to the table, shuffling through the stacks of books he pulled earlier.
Landing on the book he was looking for, he knelt in front of me, angling his face so that I would look at him.
His eyes, each so different from the other, were gentle as he spoke his next words.
“Take a deep breath and try to relax, Sybil. Empires aren’t built in a day.
The same goes for your magic. It takes time, practice, and patience.
” Pausing, he glanced at the person still waiting for him.
“I have something I need to take care of. Take some time to calm yourself and start reading this book. I promise I’ll return soon. ”
Nodding, I ran my fingers over the cobalt cover, which complemented the silver lattice design around the edging. Placing his hand over mine, he gave my fingers another gentle squeeze, lingering for a moment before following the person out of the library.
Sighing, I tossed the book on the table beside me. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths, and my tears finally started to slow. I knew I was being hard on myself, but I could feel the magic whirling inside me, ready to burst, hurting anyone that dared to get close enough.
Swallowing, I shook my head. I couldn’t let that happen again.
I needed to learn how to control it, and I needed to learn soon.
Every time I ran into Arianna or the other nobles, hearing their whispers and gossip made that clearer than ever.
Just practicing with Samian made me uneasy, so afraid of what might happen.
If I didn’t master my power soon, someone was going to get hurt, and who knew if it would be just as bad or worse.
Pushing down my panic, I wiped my eyes, opened the book, and started reading.
A few minutes passed, and my thoughts still haunted me.
After rereading the same sentence repeatedly, I finally slammed the book shut, huffing at the ridiculousness of my sudden lack of ability to understand words.
If Liam were here—if he wasn’t disgusted by what I was—he would have laughed at my restlessness, telling me to go do some stretches or take a quick break .
A sad smile formed, and a quiet laugh escaped my lips. I looked out the window, watching the wind blow through the trees. I thought back to the last time I saw Liam, seeing the fear shining in those hazel eyes.
“If only I had a camera.”
Gasping, my head whipped toward the stairs, where the deep voice called me out of my thoughts.
Ambrose stood, leaning against the rail, giving me a devilish grin.
I stared at him, my eyes wide while the warning bells silently rang in my head.
I’m not sure how long he had been there, watching me, and my throat bobbed.
“What would you do with the camera?” I asked, giving him a careful smile, hoping he couldn’t hear how fast my heart pounded against my chest.
Ambrose quickly closed the distance between us, pulling me from my chair and spinning me around like the day before. I laughed softly when he pulled me back to him, my hand landing on his firm chest. “I would capture a scene of pure beauty, entranced by the world, my dearest Sybil.”
I quivered, his voice—his words—feeling like velvet against my skin.
Shaking my head, I swatted his chest and backed out of his arms. He was a notorious flirt, I reminded myself silently.
His rakish smiles and sweet mutterings were directed at everyone, not just me.
While it did feel nice to be on the receiving end of his attention, letting it pull me out of my misery, I would be an idiot if I thought it meant anything more.
Grabbing my hand, Ambrose tugged me back to his chest, holding me close to his body. “What, my darling, are we learning today?”
“You mean what am I failing at today?” I scoffed.
But when Ambrose angled his face, silently waiting for my answer, I sighed and finally answered.
“My goal for today is to create—and hold onto—a luminous glowing orb of light.” My throat felt tight, though I tried to hide it behind exaggerated words.
“And I take it’s not going well, my love?” His voice was soft and gentle, and I hated it. I hated that he kept seeing how incapable I really was.
I slowly shook my head, my face heating as I looked down at my hands still against his chest. “It either implodes in my face or barely forms at all. There’s no in-between,” I sighed.
“Samian says I’m thinking too much, and my body is too tense, but I can’t help it.
I need to learn how to control it. I need to get this right.
I just don’t know what else to do.” My panic was rising again, my heart beating wildly as Ambrose let me move out of his arms to lean against the table.
Ambrose hummed thoughtfully, a finger tapping against his chin while considering my words.
Then, a slow grin formed, his deep blue eyes shining with a plan.
Apprehension crawled up my spine at the sight.
“I think I know just the thing that could help,” he purred, taking my hand and pulling me behind him.